What do I tell my Buddy? His girl won't even call him back.

[OnlyEverything]

I have a buddy who is 25 and his girl is 24. They've been together for 7 years. I used to know them in high school.

Well his girl left him recently, she said that she needed space needed some independence, there's no one else, but she just needs time to think things out with her life and though he was devastated, he was a man

and told her okay, Moved out to a friend's place and let her have space. He kept calling her to see how she was and would ask how much time

she needed, she didn't know....

 

A month and a half has gone by and she still hasn't made any decisions about him. I know you can't put a time limit on this

kind of stuff, But he calls her just to see how she's doing and she won't call him back at all. Or he'll email her and she won't respond.

Whenever she does talk to him, she never wants to really talk about them, She says it's because she doesn't want to get emotional and when she finally DOES call him back, it's usually: "you need to come pick up your stuff, because I'm moving out, okay, um, Bye"

 

He's really hurting over this whole thing, because he really loves her and can't see himself with anyone else. But she's not

being very nice and she won't even return his calls. I've known them a while. I used to see how much in love they were. She would

look at him and tell him she loved him and just seemed so content and happy with him. I mean they were serious. They just seemed to

have to the best relationship, were engaged to be married and everything, And now she doesn't even want to talk to him, and He doesn't know why.

 

I just really don't know what to tell him and I want to tell him something comforting other than, "Forget her dude, There's a lot of

hot chicks out there to hook uo with". I want to tell him something meaningful. I just don't know what her deal is. Part of me thinks

she must be dating someone else.

 

What do you guys think?

[cantsleep02]

the same thing just happened to me, its because she probably realized she had to find herself and is probably in fact with someone else, probably is looking at him as a weak guy and is forcing herself not to remember the good times with him and has probably changed and is acting mean towards him because she just wants to forget about him, the exact same thing is happening to me and i just recently found that she had sex with someone else and wants to be with him but before she the break she knew what she was doing and still told me that she still wants to marry me and have a life with me, girls play games, my girlfriend was so sweet and innocent and would always look deep into me and tell me forever and i always felt like she loved me more, she never even really said she was breaking up with me, she just disapeared and i havent talked to her in about 1 1/2 weeks, its really sucks for me, im going crazy, i loved this girl, and i cant beleive that this is happening, so i have to move on, but hey man, tell your friend that its hard but its probably over.

[Arabess]

He won't accept it's over until he's ready to accept it's over. Anything you say probably won't even help.

 

It's hard for people to accept the fact that sometimes love has a mind of it's own. It isn't faithful to make you happy forever. It changes on you.

 

Give him some time....take him out for a few beers.....maybe he'll meet someone who sparks his interest.

[Velveteel]

The signs are not good. She may have been cushioning the blow for him (and herself) by coming up with this "just have to be alone" business. But the only way to see if she needs time, or just needed to break-up, is for him to stop pursuing her. No phone calls. No emails. Eventually, he should start to date other women--not taking any trouble either to hide it or to let her know.

 

If she stays quiet, he has a very clear answer. Sometimes--OFTEN--even a deep and real love does not last.

[amerikajin]

Tell your buddy the real reason she left him: she's no longer interested in him.

 

That's the cold, hard truth.

 

Women will come up with all sorts of chick speak like "I think we need space." or "It's not you, it's me. I need to get my life straight." or "I don't know if I'm ready for a commitment."

 

They don't say those things if they're romantically involved. They only say those things if they've lost that loving feeling, and in this case, she has. Who knows what it was? He probably started giving her too much. It seems eerily familiar: A woman says "I need space" and leaves a guy. The guy goes on and on about how much he loved this woman and how he made her the centerpiece of his life, and how he did everything for her. Maybe that's the problem. He got too wimpy, and she lost respect.

 

The bottom line's the same: there's no more romantic interest left. She'd rather sit at home and watch David Attenboro describe how flies are attracted to cows*** than go out on a date with him. I guarantee you, if you tell it to him that way and stop trying to soften the blow, he'll probably wake up a lot sooner.

[flsgirl]

Your friend is very lucky to have someone who really wants to help. However, I don't really think there's too much you can do for him. All you can do is be supportive and listen to what he's got to say. Just make sure he knows he's a great guy and any girl would be lucky to have him. The best thing you can do is get all of your buddies together and just keep him busy. The worst thing this guy can do is be alone right now. Just don't tell him "he's better off without her and there are fish in the sea." Good luck

[Kriz]

I hate that fish-metaphor. My advice? Tell him to act a bit more indifferently. It might fuel her intrest. Women usually want what they can't have. He should give her the impression that she's not the one holding the strings.

[OnlyEverything]

Thanks Guys. His take on all of this is that, He doesn't want to call her anymore. But when He does call her he thinks he should just be rude and not even give her the time of day, But I'm not so sure he should go about it that way. I think he should just go about his business and if she calls, talk to her in a nice way, but not to initiate any sort of hang out or get together just a "Well thanks for calling, take care"(i'm over you and it was nice talking to you ) kind of way. But he's starting to get angry and wanting to take the MEAN/RUDE route...meaning, If she called he would be "Well, I don't know why you called, Cuz I really don't care what's going on with you" even though he does.

 

I just don't know what to tell him

[amerikajin]

You're absolutely right. Being rude is the wrong policy.

 

He should be neither rude, nor nice. He should simply stop all contact with her, and if she calls him, he should simply say he's not interested in discussing anything with her at this time.