sentaro Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Hi There, This is Monday morning, and I am sitting here devastated, truly in pieces. I have no spirit at all to do anything. Last night my girlfriend for 8 years tells me she is not sure anymore and want to ends the relationship. It seems that she have been considering this for a while. We have been together for a very long time and it has been wonderful, filled with joy and of course there are fights. We go through all the unpleasant things all right. We have so much together. We both from overseas. Her brother going away for a month and she is going to stay at her brother place. Alone. She said she going to think things over and look into herself. She wants me to do the same as well. Our live is pretty much integrated. We live together, same friends, same place to go etc. When I am somewhere, she is there. I still love her and she still love me, but she is just unsure anymore. What should I do? I roughly know what to do, which is to give her space. My mind is very cloudy now. This first few days or even weeks will be hard. I will tell more once I have the strength, it is all very sad and scary. Please help.. I am crying in the inside.. Thank you, I really appreciate any help
GrayClouds Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Hi There, This is Monday morning, and I am sitting here devastated, truly in pieces. I have no spirit at all to do anything. Last night my girlfriend for 8 years tells me she is not sure anymore and want to ends the relationship. It seems that she have been considering this for a while. We have been together for a very long time and it has been wonderful, filled with joy and of course there are fights. We go through all the unpleasant things all right. We have so much together. We both from overseas. Her brother going away for a month and she is going to stay at her brother place. Alone. She said she going to think things over and look into herself. She wants me to do the same as well. Our live is pretty much integrated. We live together, same friends, same place to go etc. When I am somewhere, she is there. I still love her and she still love me, but she is just unsure anymore. What should I do? I roughly know what to do, which is to give her space. My mind is very cloudy now. This first few days or even weeks will be hard. I will tell more once I have the strength, it is all very sad and scary. Please help.. I am crying in the inside.. Thank you, I really appreciate any help That is very difficult. It sounds like she has her mind made up and just trying to find a "nice" way to leave. You are correct give her space and you the opportunity to grieve the loss of the relationship. The next few weeks will be very hard with the sadness, obsessive thinking, not wanting to eat and sleep, only wanting to eat and sleep, feeling out of control. Hang in there it will pass. As it does keep forcing yourself to focus on yourself and healing. Read the following for more help: So you want a second chance? Good luck and sorry for your loss.
Author sentaro Posted May 25, 2010 Author Posted May 25, 2010 Thank you for your the reply and advise. This forum is always helped me tremendously... this is not the first time I consulted everyone here for my problem... thank you The last few hours been up and down. From time to time I think about her and I have to push it real hard out from my mind. Is this a good idea to do? I feel like I am running away and not actually digesting the problem. Doing a full of no contact is a bit hard for us since we are doing business together. We might need to meet for around an hour daily. I am staying with a friend today, which I think help a lot. She left our house this morning and moved to her brother place. The house feels empty and I dont think I can really take it. Night time alone will be the worse because I am alone in the house that we have built together. I have been talking with my family too.. which are very supportive and understand the decisions that we both take. Not sure how long I will be like this.
Author sentaro Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 Now is almost a week away and today is infact a weekend. This night will be the first night I am at home again and alone. I kept myself busy around the house doing many things. I am so lucky to have friend that willing to let me stay for few days. Being alone during those time is such a bad idea and I am glad I decided to sleep at a friend place. Having a company to talk with is really helpful. Still like few days ago it is still ups and down, but there are more ups. I can actually finished a full meal now, and also sleep somewhat well. I have been forcing myself to eat and sleep. And it is extremely hard. I have been thinking many things this past few days too, to understand myself and to grief. So far feels like I can see few things in my life that has been improved or need improvement. It is like watching a video of myself and doing a review. I still met her daily to talk few things. It is really hard to have total no contact due to current situation. Sometimes it feels really different, event though you are talking to the same person. My post might sound cryptic.. now is 3am and I am half asleep
aeren944 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. It's not cryptic at all, it's exactly how I feel, too. I was with my ex-fiance for 8 years, too... we've got 2 kids, so I'm forced into LC, not NC. I know what you mean about feeling really different... it sucks. I can barely look her in the face, and I always want to say more when we do talk... I just want her back. It's all that pain that's wrapped up in this person... sometimes, it gets the better of you.
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