mortensorchid Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I am in a rather unusual position, but maybe there are others out there who are in the same situation. I have never had a lot of women friends. I can trace this back as far back as junior high school - there were a very small number of girls in my class. We were split literally down the middle, until another girl came into the fold. She immediately took my place with the first group, and I was all of a sudden in the "uncool" group, which I was not happy with. Hence I became a bit of a loner. After junior high came high school of course. I went to an all girls' high school, put in the middle of all the best as well as the worst of female caddiness and jealousy. When I formed friendships within groups of girls, it would always fall apart because they would pull some kind of jealous b***s*** either based on a boyfriend drama or material things. The last time I had some real tight women friends, they being married to their husbands for a long time and me being the lone gal, when I got a serious boyfriend they turned on me. One even ended the rant (via email I might add) "If this is you now, I liked you better before HE came along!". Needless to say we stopped speaking, and that was the last time I attempted to have close women friends. This taught me to keep my distance from women as friends, even though today as an adult I have women friends, we are not particularly close. I had always felt as if I could trust men as friends rather than women as friends. Call me paranoid, but I am happy now as this is what I have established as my comfort zone. Do men who are interested in a woman as a girlfriend find this odd? What would you, as a man, think of a woman who has many guy friends and few if any girlfriends?
Woggle Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I have mixed feelings. I do wonder whether some of those male friends might become something more especially if we arguing but on the other hand it shows that she actually likes men as people and is not a misandrist which is a huge plus. It has it's pros and cons.
marsle85 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I have mixed feelings. I do wonder whether some of those male friends might become something more especially if we arguing but on the other hand it shows that she actually likes men as people and is not a misandrist which is a huge plus. It has it's pros and cons. Wow. So if a woman HAS a male friend, she's prone to cheat. If she DOESN'T have a male friend, she's a misandrist.
John K Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Opposite sex friendships can't exist for normal people.
Pyro Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Opposite sex friendships can't exist for normal people. incorrect. One of my best friends for over 10 years now is female. Guys who think with their cock all the time can't have opposite sex friends.
Hopeful30 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Opposite sex friendships can't exist for normal people. Huh? Where do you get this from? Of course it can, and it DOES. Maybe not for everyone, because some can't keep in it their pants, but for most people it can. Personally I believe that opposite sex friendships are more valuable, and last a lot longer.
Stockalone Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 What would you, as a man, think of a woman who has many guy friends and few if any girlfriends? I wouldn't get along with a woman who has many guy friends (or a best male friend, or an ex as a friend). I am a man who has no female friends, so I don't understand why she has so many male friends instead of female friends. And I am also possessive.
St. Nick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 It's definitely not a good sign if a chick has lots of guy friends, especially if she has more guy friends than female friends, or no female friends at all and only guy friends. That says she's sleeping around. Platonic friendships between two heterosexuals of the opposite gender do not work. If they did this wouldn't be such an issue. Heck, I've even known women with gay guy friends to have sex with them. In most men's minds a woman with mostly or only guy friends = whore.
John K Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 incorrect. One of my best friends for over 10 years now is female. Guys who think with their cock all the time can't have opposite sex friends. I said NORMAL people. There are two types of guys. Guys with girls as friends and guys with girlfriends.
John K Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Huh? Where do you get this from? Of course it can, and it DOES. Maybe not for everyone, because some can't keep in it their pants, but for most people it can. Personally I believe that opposite sex friendships are more valuable, and last a lot longer. A guy can be friends with a girl as long as he doesn't have a girlfriend. Normal guys have girlfriends.
John K Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Platonic friendships between two heterosexuals of the opposite gender do not work. If they did this wouldn't be such an issue. Heck, I've even known women with gay guy friends to have sex with them. Right on. Right on.
phineas Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I was never comfortable dateing women who buddy buddy with guys regularly. I've had too many women dump me or just flat out cheat on me with their "just a friend". I'm older now & might consider dateing a woman with a close guy friend as long as she defined thier relationship. Is he an ex always looking to score? Is he the gay shopping buddy? I would want to know why their not together if they get along so great. Any woman should be able to answer that question. I dated a woman with a close guy friend. She was specific on why they never dated. He has no drive & is lazy. He'd rather put a towel at the base of his toilet than go out & buy a new .99 wax ring. as an example. There were a number of things she came up with & honestly she sounded like my sister ripping into my little brother. LOL! So I stopped worrying.
counterman Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I have a friend who has mostly male friends. She says she only dates guys she's been friends with. What am I suppose to think if I were dating her knowing that she the option of dating her friends is actually open?
Pyro Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I said NORMAL people. There are two types of guys. Guys with girls as friends and guys with girlfriends. and I am as normal as they come. Last time I checked life is not black and white. I have a wonderful GF who has met my best female friend. Keep an open mind and stop thinking with your cock and it won't be an issue. Having her as a friend over the years and getting advice from her in relation to females was a big plus for me and that is part of the reason why I never became a bitter negative individual.
sumdude Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I have a friend who has mostly male friends. She says she only dates guys she's been friends with. What am I suppose to think if I were dating her knowing that she the option of dating her friends is actually open? It just so happens I was in this situation just recently. Known her for about 2 years. When we first met considered more but became friends instead. She has a lot of man friends all over the country and few female friends. We would get out of touch a times then hang out more. Well a couple weeks ago we were hanging a lot and one night had a little buzz on. One thing led to another and I could've taken things all the way yet held back, stayed with major heavy making out and a bit more. Same thing the next night then I backed off. I wanted to see what she would do. Well that was about it, she was once again hanging out with some other guy. No I don't know what she was doing and it didn't really matter. The feeling I got from it was that I was just an option. No biggie. I do recall her telling me a while back that she ended up cheating in most of her LTR's. Considering she's always 'hanging out' with men seems that the options make it too easy. This is just one person of course but.. that's the data I have to work with.
John K Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 and I am as normal as they come. Last time I checked life is not black and white. I have a wonderful GF who has met my best female friend. Keep an open mind and stop thinking with your cock and it won't be an issue. Having her as a friend over the years and getting advice from her in relation to females was a big plus for me and that is part of the reason why I never became a bitter negative individual. You are so normal.
make me believe Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I don't think that most men would like having a girlfriend who has all male friends. I am not a guy, but to me it seems like usually the women who "can't get along with other women" (and always blame it on the other women) are like that because they seek male attention and have no real interest in forming friendships with other women anyway. The comment your friend said in her last email is telling. How/why do you change so much when you get a BF, or why do people get the impression that you do? Not all women are jealous or bitchy or whatever, and IMO usually the person who is claiming this is the one who has the real problem.
Pyro Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 You are so normal. more normal than your bitter close minded self. You sound like a bitter little boy.
John K Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 more normal than your bitter close minded self. You sound like a bitter little boy. I get 9s and 10s. Easily.
Pyro Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I get 9s and 10s. Easily. out of 100? Try being a little more open minded.
carhill Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Do men who are interested in a woman as a girlfriend find this odd? What would you, as a man, think of a woman who has many guy friends and few if any girlfriends? Based on long experience, I'd be wary, and would look to the quality and demeanor of those friendships. I would expect a woman to do the same if I had few male friends and mostly female friends. I think learning to 'fit it' with one's own gender, if it doesn't come natually, *can* help with all sorts of social interactions, including dating. Having walked that path, seeing it from both sides now, I'm comfortable with that assessment. Hope it works out
John K Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 out of 100? Try being a little more open minded. That is so funny I'm going to try to laugh.
FitChick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I prefer to have men friends because I don't have to worry they will sleep with my boyfriend or trash talk me while pretending to be my friend, which has happened in the past. It's possible that some of my men friends might want more, but if it hasn't happened by now, it ain't gonna so it's their problem not mine. I explain that to men I date. However, on the flip side, I am rather wary of men who have female friends because I don't trust women. If the woman is very unattractive, there is generally nothing to worry about.
Star Gazer Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I don't think that most men would like having a girlfriend who has all male friends. I am not a guy, but to me it seems like usually the women who "can't get along with other women" (and always blame it on the other women) are like that because they seek male attention and have no real interest in forming friendships with other women anyway. The comment your friend said in her last email is telling. How/why do you change so much when you get a BF, or why do people get the impression that you do? Not all women are jealous or bitchy or whatever, and IMO usually the person who is claiming this is the one who has the real problem. I agree 100%. I have a lot of male friends, but my friendships with females are greater in number and in substance. I'd be wary of anyone who had such trouble forming same-sex friendships.
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