sam light Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Often a young girl in her 20's with a 40's/50's guy means she is getting something from him. (career, shelter, rich living, money). But every now and then it seems to be a LTR and not a case of gold digging. I'm an old guy (50) and have dated women in their mid-late 30's. I'm in real good shape and dignified looking, but I don't know why any 20something would ever date me,or any other 50+ guy. When there is an appeal to dating older guys, what is it?
stepka Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I can't tell you Sam, b/c I'm the same age as you, but when I was on cupid I had a lot of younger guys hitting on me too and I never knew why--it couldn't be money b/c I don't have any. More young men than men my age, so maybe they just thought I'd be easy? If so, they were disappointed.
Confusedalways Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Some people have their preferences I guess. I'm 22 and feel like anyone over 26 is way out of my range. Different strokes for different folks?
St. Nick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Here are some reasons: Physical maturity makes you looked distinguished in their eyes, rather than merely old. Being emotionally mature means you're less likely to play games, act like an idiot, and you're more experienced in the ways of the world, which means you're less likely to make brainless decisions. Some young women have a daddy complex which gives older men a greater appeal. Older men have usually achieved a level of success; many young men are directionless and lack ambition. The reasons above and the reasons you stated are why a young woman would want an older man. Some young women might come into this thread and say, "I wouldn't date a considerably older man because that's too creepy". But I recently went to a wedding where, at the wedding ceremony, the bride made a speech where she said, "I once thought I'd never in a million years marry a man over twenty years older than me, but that all changed when I met William." or something like that. I wonder if the other young women who married older men once thought they'd never marry an older guy because they thought it was creepy.
St. Nick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I can't tell you Sam, b/c I'm the same age as you, but when I was on cupid I had a lot of younger guys hitting on me too and I never knew why--it couldn't be money b/c I don't have any. More young men than men my age, so maybe they just thought I'd be easy? If so, they were disappointed. Bingo! I think that's the reason.
Author sam light Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 I can't tell you Sam, b/c I'm the same age as you, but when I was on cupid I had a lot of younger guys hitting on me too and I never knew why--it couldn't be money b/c I don't have any. More young men than men my age, so maybe they just thought I'd be easy? If so, they were disappointed. It's different when it's older woman vs younger guy. Guys of all ages want women of most any age. Maybe given a choice they'd pick someone their age, but failing that they'll go for attractive women of most ages.
Author sam light Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Here are some reasons: Physical maturity makes you looked distinguished in their eyes, rather than merely old. Being emotionally mature means you're less likely to play games, act like an idiot, and you're more experienced in the ways of the world, which means you're less likely to make brainless decisions. Some young women have a daddy complex which gives older men a greater appeal. Older men have usually achieved a level of success; many young men are directionless and lack ambition. The reasons above and the reasons you stated are why a young woman would want an older man. Some young women might come into this thread and say, "I wouldn't date a considerably older man because that's too creepy". But I recently went to a wedding where, at the wedding ceremony, the bride made a speech where she said, "I once thought I'd never in a million years marry a man over twenty years older than me, but that all changed when I met William." or something like that. I wonder if the other young women who married older men once thought they'd never marry an older guy because they thought it was creepy. All well said Nick, thanks
FitChick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 (edited) I can't tell you Sam, b/c I'm the same age as you, but when I was on cupid I had a lot of younger guys hitting on me too and I never knew why--it couldn't be money b/c I don't have any. More young men than men my age, so maybe they just thought I'd be easy? If so, they were disappointed. How funny! That's the reason I got off that website. Tired of the cougar hunters. If I were twenty years younger I might have taken them up on their offers because most of them were very attractive, educated and successful. Not exactly difficult for them to find women their own age, especially since there are plenty of ladettes around these days. I prefer someone over 40 who has experienced their midlife crisis already because I don't want to go through that with anyone again. Edited May 24, 2010 by FitChick
Chicago_Guy Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I don't understand the appeal either. I was walking home at night after using the gym a couple months ago and saw a very pretty mid-late 20s blonde girl walking out of a nice restaurant with a fat and physically unattractive but well-dressed man who appeared to be in his 60s. They kissed right on the lips before I was past them and I thought it was disgusting. I simply assumed that the girl was possibly a paid escort or something because it definitely was not his daughter.
marsle85 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Mostly it's daddy issues. Sounds like to me, the 60 year old man dating the 20 year old has "daddy" issues too.
Woggle Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Sounds like to me, the 60 year old man dating the 20 year old has "daddy" issues too. It's a mutually screwed up relationship.
bac Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 IMO Many women have missed a perfect father figure in their lives. An older man who loves them, takes care for them, spends money on them, gives them guidance/advice about life, knows all answers about any life situations, spoils them, with him a girl feels so safe and secure. From what I know, it is just a period when a girl is getting what she has missed in the childhood. Later, she might realize that she wants something different.
Woggle Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 This is why positive male role models are good not just for boys but for girls in childhood as well. Women who grow up without a father figure or with a bad one tend to end up with a boatload of issues.
Author sam light Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 IMO Many women have missed a perfect father figure in their lives. An older man who loves them, takes care for them, spends money on them, gives them guidance/advice about life, knows all answers about any life situations, spoils them, with him a girl feels so safe and secure. From what I know, it is just a period when a girl is getting what she has missed in the childhood. Later, she might realize that she wants something different.I'd say "some" rather than "many", but otherwise you hit the nail on the head IMO. There are some 20somethings (guys and gals) that seem to resist becoming fully adult, I guess a "Daddy" would be welcome.
FitChick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 If he has money, then that is most likely the reason. I had a pretty co-worker who dated men twenty or thirty years older. They took her on trips, bought her clothes and jewelry, sometimes chipped in on the rent. She said, "Get it while you can!" I don't have a problem with it as long as both parties know the score. I doubt any of them thought they were a love match. If it works for both of them, who cares?
Author sam light Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 If he has money, then that is most likely the reason. I had a pretty co-worker who dated men twenty or thirty years older. They took her on trips, bought her clothes and jewelry, sometimes chipped in on the rent. She said, "Get it while you can!" I don't have a problem with it as long as both parties know the score. I doubt any of them thought they were a love match. If it works for both of them, who cares? If both know the score then all is well. I expect this is the basis for most older vs younger relationships. I was just asking about the rare "nonfinancial" match-ups.
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 At 22 and relatively mature for my age, I seem to be most attracted to men in their late 20's or early 30's. I tend to connect with them better and often they have things a little bit more sorted out in terms of what they want out of life. My current boyfriend is 33 and we really click emotionally. I think at this point in my life mid-30's would be my cut off. Men in their 40's, 50's and beyond would most likely be at a different life stage and thus would be difficult to relate to. Regardless of physical looks, I probably would not date someone over 40.
janie423 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 If both know the score then all is well. I expect this is the basis for most older vs younger relationships. I was just asking about the rare "nonfinancial" match-ups. the rare "nonfinancial" matchups that occur for older vs. younger relationships (including older women/younger men) are rare but when they occur the younger person has fallen for the person in spite of their age. That is to say, the advantages of age, and the downside to age, are not a factor. They love that person, and like true love between any age, this is rare.
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