Importance of man's 'sophistication'...

[FitChick]

Those specific things you listed? Yeah, that'd be a bonus for me because I enjoy wine, good food/cooking/baking, art, and history. They're among my interests, so I'd consider it a bonus to be with someone who shares them and likes cooking or going to museums, the opera, or the ballet with me. If I didn't like those things and found them boring, his interest in them would be pretty irrelevant.

 

I agree because those are my interests. It depends on where your interests lie.

[spookie]

i associate "sophistication" with being a pussy. i am dating a self-proclaimed hill-billy and very happy about it.

[Jersey Shortie]

It's fine and great if you are educated enough to talk abou fine cusine or art. However, these things don't make a man. And they don't mean a man is "sophisticated" for it. All the times I thought about what kind of man I wanted to be with, "sophisticated" never made the list. Does that mean I want a skateboard riding, backwards hat wearing guy? No. But I learned long ago that pretense is overated and men with Ivy league educations can still be shmucks. And men that never went to school, can be class acts. My own dad never went to college, worked his own business of farming and trucking. Most days he were plaid shirts and work boots. But he also gave food to homeless guys and gave one man the very shows off his feet. That's what I care about. Not if a man can talk about fine cusine.

[Chicago_Guy]

He sounds gay. As a woman with lots of gay friends who are my eternal dates to operas, classical music concerts, fine restaurants, theater, art shows, wine tasting, and what-not. Yup. Add in cooking, interior decorating, therapist to bad dates, and fashion connaisseur, you have yourself my gay friends (not necessary all gays).

 

I agree. I doubt that very many straight men would honestly admit that they enjoy going to the ballet.

[sweetjasmine]

I agree. I doubt that very many straight men would honestly admit that they enjoy going to the ballet.

 

To be fair, I doubt very many straight men realize that ballet is more than frilly pink tutus, so I don't blame the few men who enjoy dance for keeping their mouths shut about it.

[kimbop]

Also, it's how you pick your battles in the male enlightenment of culture. For example, my ex was an English "frat" boy type. I endured plenty of Arsenal "football" games with him (which I still hate), but at least he came to try out new things he came to love thru me - obviously, because I had better sense at breaking him in. I took him to bars that featured vast selections of specialty beer because he appreciates beer. I introduced him to Vietnamese Pho because that's as commonplace as "curry" in Southeast Asia. I took him to see musical theater because it featured puppets that cursed and had sex. I bought him a fancy shaving kit that showed him how to shave better and smoother. I introduced him to the world of cashmere which he loved because it was the softest thing he ever touched. And I cooked him French food, which he claimed to hate at first before knowing me and then he changed his mind.

 

A woman can bring cultural understanding to a man, and thus make more him "more" sophisticated. It's based on how she goes about it.

[John K]

"Sophistication" is a negative. Women like men who drink and know their beers.

[Hot Carl]

I think young adults tend to go through phases where they try to get "sophisticated". Sophistication is something metrosexuals (do they still exist?) embrace.

 

I think being open and having some depth is important. An appreciation of quality in most areas of life is a good thing, along with a readiness to try new things. But whether you like wine or espresso or prefer Coors Light and Sanka isn't important.

[Lakeside_runner]

I think being open and having some depth is important. An appreciation of quality in most areas of life is a good thing, along with a readiness to try new things. But whether you like wine or espresso or prefer Coors Light and Sanka isn't important.

 

And that's what I was talking about...

[runner]

"Sophistication" is a negative. Women like men who drink and know their beers.

 

knowing beer is a perfect example of sophistication. unless one define's 'knowing' as, which corner shop carries the best budweiser specials. brewing is as fine an art as viticulture.

[amiableamy]

Heh. If you consider "art" really good music and can hold his liquor, then yeah, I've hit the jackpot. But generally I'll settle for someone who says "excuse me" after belching and has the courtesy to warn me before he scratches his balls.

[DollWelch]

I know exactly what you mean, Lakeside_Runner!

 

I do value a man that is sophisticated. Not only that, but also self-aware of his persona around his date and/or others.

 

By that I mean, being able to adapt to the subject matter, while keeping things a notch ahead of the game. It's knowing in your heart, how genuine a man is, whole-heartedly.

 

Doesn't matter if he can cook simple or gourmet foods, these are only temporary creations in life. The finer qualities is being able to share a vast knowledge in arts, history, science, and world news together. Holding and keeping a conversation both can enjoy is a must !

 

In the end, personality, character and intelligence play a big role in sustaining a great (if not, good) relationship. I can't live without those 3 !

 

BTW, Nerds are hot!

[gypsy_nicky]

Certainly, the more 'sophisticated' the man is the more attractive he is. I'm not talking about cheap "mid-life crisis wannabe sophisticated" like buying a Porsche etc. I'm talking about men who genuinely enjoy the pleasures of life. Plain simply put in one sentence - there are guys for whom a cup of coffee will do and there are guys who really enjoy espresso .

 

Assume as well that the guy has a good personality is a good listener/conversationalist knows how to make a lady comfortable around him.

 

So, how big of a bonus is it for you girls if a guy for example

 

- knows his way around wine and/or whisky

- knows his way around gourmet cuisine (and cooks of course)

- knows art, history etc.

 

I could continue the list but you get the idea

 

So, comments? Please.

 

stiff, condescending.

 

downright gay.

[EnglishMuffin]

A Renaissance man is attractive.

 

A hipster who only indulges on the surface level is not.

 

If the woman has enough knowledge in art and culture, it is not too hard to tell. For example I have seen enough hipsters who quote Freud and Proust but never have his own opinion/critique. Most likely they never read the original text.

 

I wouldn't be impressed if a man practises an act of sophistication as a means to attract women. If he truly loves art and culture, it will show as his passion rather than a show-off.

Edited May 24, 2010 by EnglishMuffin