singlelife Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 When you and you mate decide to get together how do you decide how your home is run. I know it's a partnership but some feel that there has to be a HEAD of the household. Some feel that EVERY decision has to be shared. Give me some insight on what you think.
Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 The head of the household is a leader of the household, but doesn't rule like a dictator. Every decision is still discussed.
alphamale Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 i think the man should make the major decisions but take into account the feelings of any female(s) living in the household.
spookie Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 never lived with anyone but if i did i would like a considerable amount of autonomy and independence for both of us
suprisinginsight Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 When you and you mate decide to get together how do you decide how your home is run. I know it's a partnership but some feel that there has to be a HEAD of the household. Some feel that EVERY decision has to be shared. Give me some insight on what you think. IMO, there will always need to be a balance. Generally in my case the general direction of the household is guided by me but the details are generally discussed with my spouse before any drastic changes is done. But I think alot of it is really between you and your SO and the dynamics of your relationship.
samspade Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 The man should lead - always. He makes the tough decisions, of course taking into consideration his partner's feelings. A woman may take the reins, but only because the man will not, and someone needs to fill the leadership vacuum. This is not the female's fault, but it is a recipe for a miserable relationship.
Crazy Magnet Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Honestly I rather a man take more of a leading role at home with regards. My career demands that I spend all day calling all the shots and I really don't want to have to come home and do more of the same. I am very much a feminist and I'm sure feminist everywhere will stone me for saying that! lol However, on 99.9% of life's decisions, I realize they don't really matter that much. If there was something I was particularly passionate about I would of course step up. I'll be interested to see how this plays out if I marry my BF. Our current plans are for him to be a stay at home dad when babies come along so I'll be interested to see how that meshes with head of the household as well since I'll be the sole financial bread winner.
make me believe Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 The head of the household is a leader of the household, but doesn't rule like a dictator. Every decision is still discussed. I agree with this. I think that in a marriage the man should take the leadership role in this way. Things are always discussed and he isn't bossing his wife around or anything like that, but he is still the "leader."
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I am looking forward to living a fairly traditional married life with my fiance. There are things he will do, and things that I will do - and some mixing up of traditionally gender specific chores (he likes to cook for example and runs me out of the kitchen, and I like to mow and do landscaping.. and so on). I like the idea of being 'his wife' instead of 'his partner'. BTDT, ready for something more along the lines of how my grandparents were (minus the philandering my grandfather did ). If I had my way and we could afford it, I'd quit and do the housewife thing. It seems these days 'homemaking' is more of a luxury, since a good deal of people need two incomes to run a home comfortably.
spookie Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 there is nothing that could ever compel me to stay at home, so my ideal household consists of a nanny, a maid, and separate checking accounts in addition to things we pay, save, and work for together. i imagine the child-rearing bit would require joint decision-making, but i would hate to be in the kind of relationship where i felt like i had to run everything by my partner, and vice versa.
dazzle22 Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 I think it is important that the man can step up to the plate and make the tough calls and do the tough stuff when it is called for. Being with a man who will not "man up" is depressing. (By that I mean, not growing up and shouldering adult responsibilities). Been there, done that. Short of that, I think it boils down to which chores each one is good at, or which chores one spouse loathes and the other doesn't mind. I make about 5 x what my husband makes, so he is now moving to be self employed at home, and that way he can run the household and do all the stuff I really hate to do that he doesn't mind and then we can have our weekends free for fun stuff. Much better than both of us running around and being exhausted all the time having to put in 40 hr weeks each at an outside job.
Lauriebell82 Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 I feel that a couple should make joint decisions, that one shouldn't dictate over the other. But their are "men things" in which he needs to step up. Fiance is weird though, he is traditional and "jokes" that he is the man of the house but then says he wants us to be equals. Maybe it depends on his mood? I have no clue. Sometimes I am both!
Author singlelife Posted May 25, 2010 Author Posted May 25, 2010 From what my female friends tell me women are more attracted to a take charge guy not a let's talk about it guy. AGain I am sure there are things that are discussed but not everything. Also a man who has to always stop to get permission will get nothing done. Do you women want that kind of life. I think a lot of women have problem's wanting to be equal and wanting to have a lot of say so but then wanting their man to be an aggressive go getter. It don't work that way. But in today's times a lot of women will not get off the proud women stuff and be part of a happy household.
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