realization

[BetterOffWithoutYou]

i have had the realization that the real reason i think i am missing my ex so much is that i miss being me. when i was around him i could always be the real me and he loved the real me. now that he left i am alone a lot and i have no one to keep me company, so no one to express the real me to. although even with my fam or friends i feel it is not the exact same level of "me"...i could open up to him in a way i have never been able to with anyone else. and that is what i really miss. now the key is learning to be ok alone and not always need to express myself to feel happy. i also need to learn to let go and be more authentic around ppl without caring what they think. with my ex i got constant praise for being the silly, sarcastic person i really am. once i can learn to love me for who i am with out needing positive attention i'm sure this feeling will pass... hopefully soon! what a journey getting your heart broken is but i am determined to make something positive out of this pain! i hope all the other broken hearts out there can do the same

[Ilovecake]

That's called projecting. I posted an article about this on here. I reposted it for you below see if it rings a bell at all.

 

“each friend or {in this case ex} represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. ~ Anais Nin"

Each ex awakens a new world inside of you, true. Those things maybe there because an ex awakened them - but they belong to you. If you were more sexual, adventurous or safe when you were with an ex, you assign that quality to him/her instead of to your own capacity for love and connection. Falling in love is only partially about the other person. Often you see yourself (and your hidden qualities) reflected in the other person, and you like what you see. This is called projection.

 

Robert Johnson explains it best in his book Balancing Heaven and Earth: “The term projection is used by Jungians to mean that each of us places some quality of our own being onto something or someone else. This psychological process works like a projector in a movie theater: you take something that is within the projection and blow it up onto the screen where you can see it more clearly.” (In other words, your good qualities can get projected onto your ex.) Johnson continues by expressing the importance of taking back that which you projected: “Relationships generally begin with this type of projection, but to be maintained they must evolve into a sustainable human love. The projection of inner gold must be gradually taken back.”

 

If your relationship didn’t grow into a “sustainable human love,” then it’s time to take back those qualities of yours that you associate only with your ex. It’s common to fear that those parts of yourself won’t exist without that person in your life, but that’s not true. Until you believe that for yourself, you keep holding on. You think you’ll be nothing without the mirror that this other person provided. But any traits that an ex helped bring out are yours to keep – whether it’s strength, a side of your sexuality that you never saw, your wit, your boldness. You don’t even need a lawyer to divide these assets. All of them are your.

[BetterOffWithoutYou]

WOW. thank you so much...this is very helpful. i have been trying to sort out these feelings since he left, but this explains it much better than my own thoughts. i truly appreciate you sharing this info with me!!!!