noemy Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Okay, here we go ! So this year I met this 24 year old guy at the university, him being a teacher, me a student, but with very little age difference, and no real class together. He immediately attracted me, not on a mere physical level, just because I felt he was a great and interesting person, and wanted to get to know him better. So I let him know that I'd like to keep seeing him in another context. He accepted, out of politeness and kindness mostly I guess, cause he seems to be a sociable, enthusiastic person, saying easily yes to invitations. We had a few drinks, and dinners, but not just the two of us, always with friends we had in common. Then, I asked him for a dinner just the two of us, which he accepted again, and we had, to me at least, a great time, talking about intimate and non superficial stuff. He made the moment last a little bit by suggesting that we go in a bar after the restaurant, then insisting on walking me a little bit. But, it was hard for me to see it as a "date", although I would have liked him to see it that way. He said he had had a great time, that we should do that again, maybe just out of politeness, I guess...During a couple of months, we hung out together quite regurarly, doing sports together, working together, having walks together, and although I had hoped to get close to him little by little, he kept some distance from me. I am used to being chatted up, or checked out by guys, cause I'm pretty, and I'm not saying I'd like him to do that, but he never really flirted with me openly, letting me know that he was interested.. Yet, I wouldn't say that we got into the friendzone either, you see...I have some male friends (not a lot that's true..) and I can tell that they really just see me as a friend since they are very relaxed with me, treating me like one of them, no ambiguity at all...But with him, there's always some sort of embarassment, I'd say...he's a very extravert person, but with me, he's not as relaxed as with other people, there are moments when we don't even talk, not because I don't have anything to say to him but because he makes me nervous, gives me butterflies in the stomach. In fact, I think there's a lot of respect, mutual admiration between the two of us, he tells me about his life, i tell him about my life etc..we've shared some good moments of intimacy, but yet, it always remains a distance, an embarassment..which prevents me from assessing our relationship as a real friendship. So we're not dating, but we're not friends either...Is there a third zone by any chance ? ^^ At some point, I told myself that it just meant that he had no interest in me, both as a lover or as a friend, since he didn't really seem eager to see me. I stopped calling him or inviting him out, but I kept being nice and smiling to him whenever we met. And after a month without any news, he was the one calling to say that he missed me, that we had to do something one night. Now, he's texting me much more than before, calling me with affectionate nicknames, and worrying if Im fine etc without me asking him anything... So I'm lost, cause my third theory "he's just bored with hanging out with me" proves wrong too. What are we ? I know I didn't give you much detail, and it's hard for you decoding that guy when you don't know anything about him, but what do you think ? I feel so stupid asking that, but I totally suck at romantic relationships, I have never had to take the initiative toward the guy, and never wanted to do it, cause I never met someone worth it. But that guy is worth it, and I like him very much.. What should I do now ? Thanks !
ADF Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 What I think you should do now is shorten this story and repost it. You are unlikely to get a response to a post this long.
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