processing Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Would it be better for you to almost completely disappear out of your ex's life OR to remain in there just the slightest amount? Jeez the internet makes things so much more difficult sometimes! What I mean is, we are in strict NC, however... my ex visits my blog a couple of times a week. Unbeknown to him, I've had a tracker on it - had the account for years as well as the tracker. We have no communication. I also assume he glances at my FB page though that's mostly private - it's the only way he could have gotten over to my blog - I posted the url after we broke up not realizing he was still looking. Thought he was 'over' me and into the arms of his rebound gigs girl. So my question to you is I do want him back but I worry if he's getting to see what's going on in my life via my blog, it could be more healing for him. I mean I'd still be in his life in a way without all the hassle. He wouldn't be able to 'miss' me. It's not a main blog... I can easily disable it and just use the other. Yes I'm getting on with my life, NC is for me, yadda yadda yadda, but there are questions I wondered if anyone else had gone through. Did you lightly remain in the picture (blog, fb, ms, chat) OR did you just completely disappear?
supersub Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Would it be better for you to almost completely disappear out of your ex's life OR to remain in there just the slightest amount? Jeez the internet makes things so much more difficult sometimes! What I mean is, we are in strict NC, however... my ex visits my blog a couple of times a week. Unbeknown to him, I've had a tracker on it - had the account for years as well as the tracker. We have no communication. I also assume he glances at my FB page though that's mostly private - it's the only way he could have gotten over to my blog - I posted the url after we broke up not realizing he was still looking. Thought he was 'over' me and into the arms of his rebound gigs girl. So my question to you is I do want him back but I worry if he's getting to see what's going on in my life via my blog, it could be more healing for him. I mean I'd still be in his life in a way without all the hassle. He wouldn't be able to 'miss' me. It's not a main blog... I can easily disable it and just use the other. Yes I'm getting on with my life, NC is for me, yadda yadda yadda, but there are questions I wondered if anyone else had gone through. Did you lightly remain in the picture (blog, fb, ms, chat) OR did you just completely disappear? Everyone's situation is different but I just went through a breakup 6 months ago, where I did no contact for 4 or 5 months. We just had a reconciliation that lasted a few weeks and after that pain I am ready to get on with it without her. So I think the best bet is to move on and not look back. Absolute NC. Its the only way until you get to a state of indifference. Hope this helps.
Author processing Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 Yes. Then two weeks ago he contacted me, we spoke but it was too soon and I was a little... angry still. So silence. But... as I said he's visited my page a few times. So he's curious. We were together two years. I'm trying not to think about the whole out of sight out of mind scenerio but then again if that happens... then hopefully i'll be in a good place myself and not really care. Thanks USMCHokie sometimes even though you know what others should do... the answers aren't so clear when it involves your own self.
Author processing Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 supersub Thanks! I think I was in a state of indifference the first few weeks of the breakup. A little sad but ok with it. It's when he contacted me that opened the flood gates of emotions. I want reconciliation but I know that it won't happen for a while IF it happens. I'm still harboring some anger and he's still talking with the OW.
USMCHokie Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Thanks USMCHokie sometimes even though you know what others should do... the answers aren't so clear when it involves your own self. The answers are only unclear to you because your emotions are clouding your judgment. In the end, when you remove all the bullsh*t from the situation, it's pretty cut and dry.
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