reds2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 (edited) So 3-4 weeks ago I was in a restaurant and a hostess caught my eye. She is extremely attractive and so many people keep on raving how great looking this girl is. I didn't really talk to her until a few weeks ago. Apparently for months she has been going to baseball games here in town and my dad (who owns the team) has been getting tickets for a friend of hers (and he has met her too apparently). Well I went to the restaurant with my dad and she was working and all three of us talked for 20-30 minutes or so as it was kinda in early afternoon when the restaurant wasn't busy and he introduced us. He was making it obvious that he was trying to hook us up but I mean it wasn't as awkward as it sounds. Like 2 days later the girl's friend asked my dad for my number and he gave it to her. She started texting me just small talking and stuff and then mentioned "we should grab lunch sometime." I said yeah let me know when you're free basically. She also asked me about trying to get her a fake id (because she is 20) but I said I didn't think I could do it. Then she said she wanted to go to this happy hour event at the baseball game but she had to work. For the next couple days she always initiated conversation again asking me how my day went and stuff, etc. small talking, flirty texts. She did ask about the ID thing a couple times and I thought she mighta been using me for that but then I told her I couldn't do it. I asked if she wanted to go to the baseball game one night and she said she had to work (she did have to work, I live right next to where she works and I saw her car there all night). I said "do you ever get off of work" and she didn't respond. Then she asked me out of the blue whether I was going to the baseball game that Sunday and I said maybe, she said she wanted to go. I told her I was gonna be there and meet her in the evening. She ended up bringing a friend; I came like 30 minutes late and I talked to them for like 10 minutes. Then she and her friend went to the bathroom (they were definately talking about me). Then they came back and we hit it off for a couple of hours. I made her laugh a lot, she talking about a lot of stuff but the problem was her friend was kinda excluded from the conversation (she didn't talk much at all). At the end her and her friend didn't really linger long, they left pretty quickly but overall I felt that we connected just as much as any girl I had success with in the past. Then the next day she initated conversation and kept on saying how the baseball game was probably going to be cancelled. I told her I had a business meeting that was in her hometown and asked her for a good place to eat (and we went there). I made a big sale and I told her it was thanks to her suggestion. It was her friend's birthday and they got very drunk and she was half kidding and said i should pick up their tab. I made a joke and she didn't respond but she was presumably really drunk. Then the next day she initated conversation small talking and then she asked if I was going to the baseball game and I said probably not. She texted me a bunch of times asking if I was going to the game. I said I drove by but it didn't look very fun (and it was raining). Then out of the blue she called me and asked again if I wanted to go the game. I told her I was hanging out with some of my friends, she said she wasn't feeling well... we small talked again for a few minutes and I said I had to go (I guess she might have wanted to talk more). The next day I asked her how she was feeling and it was just a couple one word answers and that was it. Then later in the week I had lunch where she works (I got a haircut and shaved) and she said I did that because she told me at the baseball I looked better clean-shaven. She didn't text me at all though that day or the previous couple days. I hear she has been hanging out (nothing more for sure) with someone else I know pretty well the past 2-3 days. I like this girl a lot but should I just forget it or should I try to show her the other side of me (she doesn't know that I am a professional singer/songwriter as well and photographer). I know there might be a photography connection because she wants to be a model. Also I blow people away with my music abilities I mean I don't want to sounds conceited but its very good. I didn't mention this at all to her... Did I not show enough interest in her? I mean did she completely move on? What should I do at this point? Friend zone?? I have no idea because of all these mixed signals.. Edited May 23, 2010 by reds2010
FitChick Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I would have thought you weren't that interested. You should have set up another real date and not just suggest you meet at a baseball game.
doomage Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 You didn't lead, and so she's probably over you but you still might have a chance if you up the ante. When she kept asking you about going to the game you should have suggested her tagging along with you to do something else, like grab a few drinks or watch a movie, whatever. Just lead the interaction, and mayb hit her up when she least expects it, it sounded from what you said that you weren't that interested, your actions showed that. It's good that you are not desperate but give her a bone. lol. Also when her friend wasnt talking it was cause she wasn't welcome in the conversation, you as the leader should have been like "why so quiet over there come on join in on the fun" and just be that fun guy that can handle whatever situation, because it'll make you look even better in your crushes eyes. good luck. p.s. invite her out somehwere this week, you never know what can happen.
Author reds2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 Do you think she showed definate signs of interest earlier? I know I should have handled a few things better. This was only about 3-4 days since she called me. One more question, the other guy who is competiting for her (particularly recently) is going away for 3 months and should be out of the picture in a week or so. Should I initiate contact after he's gone or sooner?
jenifer1972 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Don't worry about making a mistake. Just go for it. If it's meant to be, it will, if not, it won't. But remember, if she really is as good looking as you say she is, she is not blind to that, and is likely playing a few guys. Why? Because she CAN...
doomage Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 The main thing is do what you want to do on your own terms, don't wait for the stars to allign, ask her out whether or not the guy is in the picture, that's not your problem, whatever the reaction is it is her reaction not yours, so just do it. Do not be afraid and if it doesn't work out with this one, there's plenty more where that came from. But since your a professional photographer i'd be weary of her motives, being that she wants to be a model, but give her the benefit of the doubt and take her on a legit date. Go for it as soon as possible, who cares if this guy is still in town. But it does seem like she had interest in you i mean she asked her friend to ask your dad for your number, and she initiated contact which means atleast 50 percent of her head was in the game. so Now you gotta start being more proactive.
Author reds2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 Yeah good advice. I just gotta man up, I'm just not used to a girl who is a legit 9/10 expressing any signs of interest. This girl is so amazing looking even strangers start a conversation by saying how hot she is. As far as the photographer thing; i'm semi-pro on the side and I don't do model photography plus I didn't tell her i did that so theres no motives there. The music thing is the thing that I think could get her more interested. She's never heard me play before, I just briefly mentioned I did it. I will prolly just ask her to a movie or something, prolly the next thing to do. I am just so used to decent/cute girls expressing interest in me but a knockout? Makes me go insane, I can't screw this up any more...
doomage Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Ya I know I recently dated a girl who was the best looking out of all the girls i dated and i couldnt really believe it because of my failure in the past with women i'm not used to it but im getting there. Just gotta step it up man. You have a huge advantage because you have a passion for music, and it's something that sets you apart from the rest of the pack. But whatever you do don't say it verbally like showing off like "so i play music, im really good" lol or something like that just show her or surprise her. Don't play a love ballad either, slow down there speedy gonzales. Well you know what to do, oh and all those strangers that say how hot she is aren't getting anywhere with her because she already knows this and all it does is boost her ego, it feels good to know other people find her attractive, don't fall into this trap. Just be you and ask her out.
FitChick Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Do you play in any local venues? Invite her out for a drink or dinner and then watch her jaw drop when you go onstage.
Author reds2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 fitChick: That's what I was planning on doing. But the problem is it will be 2-3 weeks before I have a the opportunity to play locally. Should I wait til I have a gig and surprise her or keep treading water and maybe get her to the movies in the meantime? I'm afraid that if I don't show her the other side of me I will be put in the friendzone before long. In an ideal situation I'd invite her tomorrow for dinner and watch me play music but the timing is not right for that...
doomage Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 fitChick: That's what I was planning on doing. But the problem is it will be 2-3 weeks before I have a the opportunity to play locally. Should I wait til I have a gig and surprise her or keep treading water and maybe get her to the movies in the meantime? I'm afraid that if I don't show her the other side of me I will be put in the friendzone before long. In an ideal situation I'd invite her tomorrow for dinner and watch me play music but the timing is not right for that... You're thinking too much just do. What's the worst that can happen? You'll get your answer if she is interested by her response to your invitation to hang out together.
Alma Mobley Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I think you should do something soon as well because she was showing interest before, but from what you posted, if I were her, I would have thought you were not interested. I don't think you can wait the 2-3 weeks for the gig, unfortunately. Any possibility of trying to get something sooner?
Author reds2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 I am try to set something up sooner but i'm not sure if it will work. Do you think most girls, even if physically attracted to a guy will move on and not even think about the possibility of going out with a guy if the timing wasn't right the first time? I know guys definately don't think like this so I need to hear it from a woman...
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