nothappyjan Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 New guy ive been dating a month or so. We've been taking it very slow physically but slowly been increasing it. Last night things were progressing but I had my period so i kinda had to put a stop to it. I ended up giving him a handjob this morning, i kept going for ages but he didnt end up having an orgasm. We didnt really talk about it, just got up and had a shower and carried on as normal. But is it normal, do i just suck at hj's.
butterflysil Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 maybe his first moment made him feel stressed or embarrased which cause him not to ejaculate. take it like this at least he will hopefully last in the bedroom.
Chicago_Guy Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 New guy ive been dating a month or so. We've been taking it very slow physically but slowly been increasing it. Last night things were progressing but I had my period so i kinda had to put a stop to it. I ended up giving him a handjob this morning, i kept going for ages but he didnt end up having an orgasm. We didnt really talk about it, just got up and had a shower and carried on as normal. But is it normal, do i just suck at hj's. That guy might have been nervous. Also, if he was really hungry and hadn't eaten breakfast yet that might have had something to do with it.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Did he pee first? I know my guy can't 'get there' if he has a really full bladder.
Zapbasket Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Don't read too much into it for now; see what happens. Funny story: my ex-ex boyfriend asked me to sleep over one night and I was tired and just wanted to sleep in my own bed, so I refused. I woke up really early and felt frisky and decided to go over to his place and surprise him (I had a key to his place). I let myself into his apartment and climbed into bed with him, and slipped under the covers to give him a nice, slow bj, thinking he'd LOVE this surprise. He was happy to see me, but it was all just too much surprise, too early, and he didn't come. I'd have been a bit embarrassed if we'd been dating a short while, but we'd been together over a year at that point. Moral is: rest your mind. I'll bet the next time you enjoy each other physically it will be really nice and assuage all your fears
Engadget Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Handjobs just don't offer enough stimulation unless I do it myself, so I wouldn't feel like you didn't do it right.
somedude81 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 do i just suck at hj's. Yes If you were going to have sex but circumstances didn't work out; how come you didn't give him a blow job? It feels 100 times better than a handjob. As for jerking him off, there was probably something wrong with your technique. Did he tell you how he wanted it done? For me all it takes is a light pressure and a steady up and down rhythm. When I'm getting close the pace should quicken. For the love of God, don't stop till after the orgasm. I once dated a girl who completely stopped right before I came. She did that on a couple of occasions. I should have jerked myself off and came on her face, stupid bitch
Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 New guy ive been dating a month or so. We've been taking it very slow physically but slowly been increasing it. Last night things were progressing but I had my period so i kinda had to put a stop to it. I ended up giving him a handjob this morning, i kept going for ages but he didnt end up having an orgasm. We didnt really talk about it, just got up and had a shower and carried on as normal. But is it normal, do i just suck at hj's. From a guy's perspective, HJ's are really hard for a girl to pull off. When we men "work on ourselves," we have a preferred pace, pressure, some men like to stroke near the tip while some like it in the middle while some like the base, and so on and so forth. It's very difficult for a woman, or anyone else (if we're talking about gay men) to match those preferences. Also, if you got hot and heavy last night but put a stop to it, he probably got blue balls (testicular pain from being sexually excited WITHOUT orgasming). It lasts for hours and makes it extremely difficult to enjoy going for a second round later on. But hey, I never orgasm the first time with a girl.
Author nothappyjan Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 I personally feel a lot of pressure doing hjs as i know its such a personal prefernece for guys....but i didnt want to give a bj as it just seemed to much considering we hadnt been too touchy feely and i didnt want to freak him out by just going for it considering he hadnt even done much touching of me, he kept moving my hand towards him though so i thought i should touch him .....sooo hard when you first start seeing someone....
txsilkysmoothe Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I think handjobs are the hardest thing to do. It's very difficult to be as good at it as he is and he is accustomed to his technique. I feel I've failed if the man doesn't orgasm. I stick to blowjobs because I've figured out how to do that successfully.
somedude81 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Oh, so it's the very beginning of that phase. Was that the first time you ever touched his penis? I wouldn't worry too much about trying to give the perfect hand job. Of all the times I've fantasized about being with girls, getting a complete hand job from her was never part of the fantasy. I'm not saying I don't like them, they just don't compare to oral and sex. A guy would never freak out by you going for a BJ. If you are worried, all you have to say is, "Want a BJ?" or "want me to suck your d**k" and I guarantee he will say yes.
Author nothappyjan Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Oh, so it's the very beginning of that phase. Was that the first time you ever touched his penis? I wouldn't worry too much about trying to give the perfect hand job. Of all the times I've fantasized about being with girls, getting a complete hand job from her was never part of the fantasy. I'm not saying I don't like them, they just don't compare to oral and sex. A guy would never freak out by you going for a BJ. If you are worried, all you have to say is, "Want a BJ?" or "want me to suck your d**k" and I guarantee he will say yes. Yep first time ive touched him. We've had about 11 dates but he's been very gentlemanly and wooed me etc so that was really the first thing past kissing and cuddling.
somedude81 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 11 dates? At least I know why you were worried about freaking him out.
Author nothappyjan Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 11 dates? At least I know why you were worried about freaking him out. this coming weekend we are going away together so im assuming things will progress from that;)
Pfiend101 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I wouldn't worry about it. He was probably thrilled just to have someone elses hand on it. It's something us guys have done a billion times before a woman tries it on us so we know just how mini me likes to be pet. lol Side note my ex was giving me a handjob once and she was not turning me on very well so I put my hand over hers and guided her. That was hot.
jazzpur Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 It me years to have a girl give me an orgasm... 6 girls couldnt do it. It just wasnt the right technique... and oral sex always desensitized me... Same with any friction down there...too much of the wrong thing and i just lose ability to orgasm altogether....assume this guy is like me. A lot of it is mental so make sure youre letting him know youre into it, oh and use two hands:D . One just to hold it tight at the base, and the other one to tug..also twist a little bit. Once my ex girlfriend figured me out after 5 or so attemps, i was able to go everytime. And since ive had other girls do it also on the first try..proving that so much of it is mental on the guys part. Also keep in mind.he might not even like handjobs... i personally dont care for bjs...and a good friend of mine can actually only get off from footjobs. So find out what hes really into, and let him know your really into doing it
Cinderella7 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 (edited) Sorry...hit the wrong button... Edited May 24, 2010 by Cinderella7 hit the wrong button...sorry!
make me believe Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Everybody else is right about the difficulty of giving a guy a successful handjobs. Guys get used to the way they jerk themselves off, and it's pretty impossible to replicate their technique without a lot of instruction/communication. So don't worry about this at all!! I don't even bother with handjobs, personally. Too much work and too little payoff!
Billzebub Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I think it is a combo of first time jitters and the fact that a handjob is a consolation prize. Mostly the jitters thing, though. For me, I hate to get a handjob or a blowjob from a lover until after we've had sex...just me getting off seems selfish.
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