Brielle1 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Help idk what to do or what this means... I Moved out in feb 2009 bc he felt like he wasn't ready to marry me after 6 yrs together and 2 children. They were 1 and 3 then. My world was shattered bc he was my everything. I figured we wld live apart for a little bit and he'd realize what a good thing we had and Id move back n and marry the man of my dreams. I now regret that stupid choice I made...everyday and everynight...last july, after 6 long months of hoping praying and dreaming of, he told me loved me and didn't want to throw it all away. My lease wasnt up for another 6 months but the week he had our boys, I wkd stay at his place. I was on cloud nine until oct. That's when everything changed and he began blowing me off. After 2 wks of that and no explaination from him, i finally called him and told I knew in my heart that he met somebody. of course He denied it... But I didn't stop until finally told me the truth about her. . I was totally blindsided and heartbroken. In dec., I tried ruining his new relationship by telling her we were still sleeping together. by telling her we were sleeping together. It pretty much backfired on me and started the worst rollercoaster ride i can't get off if. He ended up moving out out of the righter shares b4 I left, moved his belongings to a storage unit and started staying at her apt. He told me he'd only be able to take the boys everyother wknd and he'd stay at his house wirh rhe kids. That hurt the most bc it was now starting to hurt the boys. Everyday I begged and cried for him to reconsider bc I didn't want the boys to go thru that. He stuck to his guns and left. He's still staying with her. He and I were still sleeping together until yesterday bc i stilll had hope that he'd wake up one day and realize he wanted us to be together again. Yesterday he realllllly hurt me and I was upset. I sent his gf a text letting her know that we never stopped seeing eachother or having sex. She already that found out once, about a month ago. But he promised her it'd never happen again. After I informed her about everything, He called me and told the most hateful things I've ever been told before in my life! Wished death upon me. Disrespected me mom. told me he wanted to marry her. And basically said he never wanted to speak to me again- that I was dead to him. This is the 1at day ever that he hasn't responded to me or called the boys. I'm so hurt and torn rite now. I know it's the bed I made so o should lay in it, but Im so numb and have the worst thoughts running thru my head. @ 7 Yesterday morning , he woke me up with a bunch of flowers he'd just bought for me. He'd been his old sweet self, and acting like he cared about me for the last couple of months. If he really loves her and wants to marry her, then y was he doing all of that behind her back? And still sleeping with me? He is destroying my life and my sweet lillle love's lives. He hasn't paid daycare in a couple of months so I had to withdraw them, he doesn't give me childsupport, and he doesn't even have a home to bring them o when he has them on his wknds. What is he doing with his money?! I don't know why he's xhoosing this path to go down but it is killing me more and more with everyday that passes. Today, I decided to move on as If he passed away bc I have to get him out of my live. I'm torn when I think about the kids. I know thy love him but he's not puLling his weight for them. I think I'm gonna keep them away from him and hire an attorney for custody and childsupport. I can't think of a better option. I feel like everything is beginning to hit rock bottom... Really scared and heartbroken over the turn of events. I want to protect my boys from all the pain in the world. I don't know what to do.
teanoranges Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 You want to protect your boys? Get out of this mess. Leave him. His is not the kind of father figure you want your children around... sons will grow up believing it is okay to disrespect women and cheat while daughter will feel it is okay to be disrespected and cheated on. You and your children are better off without him. The truth is that he doesn't love you or his new girlfriend. He's playing both of you and really enjoying it because he knows he has two women he can do anything to and they won't stand up for themselves. Call the attorney, get the child support, and thank your lucky stars you left. Don't regret this for a second.
Author Brielle1 Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 Oh woww. Yeah, I'd definitely been drinking wine for a couple of hrs when I posted this. Sorry for the typos & not making sence here and there :-/ Thank u for the advice. I was so upset & couldn't bring myself to tell my friends that I allowed him to -yet again- knock me wayyyyyy down.
jlr Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 If he really loves her and wants to marry her, then y was he doing all of that behind her back? And still sleeping with me? You can't sort out other people's messes. Believe me, I've tried. The more important question here is why are sleeping with this man when he has someone else, if you love yourself?You keep blaming him. What he's doing is wrong, but you have the choice to not allow it to happen. He's getting his cake and eating it too, and you're letting him. It's time to get some self-esteem here and realize you're being used. People who love each other don't do this. Focus on your kids. Don't be part of this sick circle. It's not good for you, or for your kids.
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