WRMan Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 OK here is the scoop… In past relationships I have always moved pretty fast, thought I was in love and jumped right into bed. The sex was always great and the relationship would last a year or two. This time around I decided to take a new approach and become friends first while dating and also waiting to have sex. We have a great time together and it’s been three months now. We finally end up in bed together on three occasions now and the sex for her seems to be great from the way she responds to both oral and actual intercourse. As for me I’m just not getting there and it’s like she is oblivious to this. She attempts to give me oral, but what she is doing does absolutely nothing for me because she does not know how to give oral. As for actual intercourse, I cannot get there because she does not allow me to fully enter her. I am very well endowed, but I have never had this problem before. Any thoughts or suggestions would be great.
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Communication. On oral, tell her what you like in a playful voice and everytime she does something right, reinforce that behavior with the oh yeah that feels great. On the penetration--tell her you need to enter fully. Then see where the conversation goes on doing that. It's a conversation--not one or two quick sentences.
harmfulsweetz Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Good sex is often all about communication, being able to tell each other what works and what doesn't. I think you should casually (when she's giving oral) hint at what you like, if she does something nice, tell her it's great, if she's doing something wrong say something 'I just love it when you do it like x' whatever x may be. As for penetration, again communication is key. It may be she fears it may hurt her, and she may tense up at that thought, whatever it is, you need to discuss it. Perhaps you could buy some lube, which may make it easier, or spend extra long on foreplay down there so she's ready. Take it slow, and show her that she can trust you not to hurt her.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 What steps are you taking to express your sexual needs to her?
FitChick Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 This illustrates why bigger isn't necessarily better.
Author WRMan Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 (edited) Thanks for the input but there is more to the story. She is a very bad communicator and openly admits this. When I try to talk to her in person, she just cannot talk about things face to face. I can however write her an email and she will reply back which is ok for some things but not really appropriate for this situation. When I tried talking to her while she was doing oral, she just stops so trying to tell her what I like has not worked so far. It’s very frustrating. As for the comment on "bigger isn't necessarily better." Well you gotta work with what you got... big or small. Edited May 24, 2010 by WRMan
txsilkysmoothe Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 My feeling is a person who can't communicate about sex shouldn't be having sex. How does she keep you from fully entering her? Is she aware she is doing this?
Author WRMan Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 (edited) It's just not about sex; she has problems with communication period. The normal things that come up in a relationship that most would and could openly talk about is just not something she can do face to face. Especially anything that could turn into a discussion. When I’ve tried to talk to her face to face, she just get's quiet. She uses her legs in a way that keeps me from fully entering her and if she is on top, she just does not go all the way down. It’s almost like she likes the head in a certain place within 2” – 3” of the opening. I just cannot get enough stimulation and she has multiple orgasms through foreplay and intercourse. Edited May 24, 2010 by WRMan
txsilkysmoothe Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 You've had sex three times and she is oblivious to whether you finished or not? It's kind of hard to miss when a man cums. She seems to be a selfish lover. You have to tell her its not working for you.
janie423 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Thanks for the input but there is more to the story. She is a very bad communicator and openly admits this. When I try to talk to her in person, she just cannot talk about things face to face. I can however write her an email and she will reply back which is ok for some things but not really appropriate for this situation. When I tried talking to her while she was doing oral, she just stops so trying to tell her what I like has not worked so far. It’s very frustrating. As for the comment on "bigger isn't necessarily better." Well you gotta work with what you got... big or small. most would rather have bigger than smaller . . .
dazzle22 Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 I cannot see how this relationship has any future, and that is because she doesn't know how to communicate. Is she autistic?
Pink Cupcakes Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 most would rather have bigger than smaller . . . I will have to agree with this. Many women, including myself, would totally appreciate you for what you're worth...a LOT. You would not leave my bed unsatisfied.
Author WRMan Posted May 25, 2010 Author Posted May 25, 2010 I would like to thank you all for your comments and help. When I got into this relationship I expressed how communication is so important and she agreed. I have developed strong feelings for her and we do have a great time together. Before I throw in the towel I am going to try and communicate with her face to face. I feel I have invested this much time together a little longer is not going to hurt anything. I’ll keep you posted. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
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