brainygirl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I know Men arent allowed to ever feel pain or lack of confidence or its the "woe is me men" label from women who just want their problems solved but im sorry im hurting from not feeling like women are into me, it just hurts No i dont judge my life on having a women besides me but humans want to feel wanted needed and a sense of companionship and never having that does depress me Id like for once that some women shows some interest and i get some level fo female effection/companionship but as time goes by and i near 30 i realize it may not happen Do you guys realize that there are women who feel the same way? I don't have to solution to your problems, but I can tell you that looks alone wont get you what you need. Looks are just a starting point. And think of all the single women in the world who don't fit the feminine Ideal of beauty. There are guys on this thread that in the same post complain about not meeting any women and state that they won't date a woman over a certain size. All I can suggest is take an honest look at how you present yourself. Do you need a haircut or to rethink your outfit of choice? Also, look at ALL the women you see at the bar, not just the hottest 10%, there may be a couple of wall flowers there who are very nice girls and would love to get a chance to get to know you. And, like I'm sure has been mentioned, look into joining a group or something. If you don't have any luck at a bar, try online dating. Everyone looks like crap in thumbnail shots so the playing field is a bit leveled.
FitChick Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 To all the ones whining that they are unattractive, what is it about your looks that you need to change? Change it and see what a difference it makes. Too many men these days look and act like Baby Huey. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Huey
Els Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Im turning 30 soon,all the female friends in my circle are mostly my married friends wives and their female friends are all in relationships.. Yes, you see... you hang out with the guys and the only females that come along are their WIVES. Of course you don't have any single females in your circle. Surely there must be some OTHER females in your workplace, etc that you can talk to? How about your hobbies... ever tried meeting people that way?
Green Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Borat? is that you??? Haha Borat wouldn't get depressed over not feeling attractive to the opposite sex lol
Ross PK Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 i havent read the whole thread but what you go girl is saying is absolutely true. i've dated numerous guys who i was not initially attracted to at all, but their personality made them attractive to me, and those were usually the guys that i fell for the hardest as well. i have friends that have experienced this as well. if you act fun to be around and enjoy life, and try to act confident, i guarantee you your success with women will improve. So does a guy having a good personality make you then find them physically attractive?
brainygirl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 So does a guy having a good personality make you then find them physically attractive? Personality and chemistry make attraction as far as I am concerned. Prove to her that you care for her, that she can trust you and you will be attractive to her.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 So does a guy having a good personality make you then find them physically attractive? YES. YES. if a guys enjoys life and is fun to be around i can find them attractive even if they are not physically attractive to me. i was not initially attracted to my last bf, but he was so fun to be around (and confident as well) that within a week i was smitten. i then became physically attracted to him, for me and many other women i know, a fun, sweet personality is way more attractive than a hot body (or face, whatever).
legallyblonde289 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Personality and chemistry make attraction as far as I am concerned. Prove to her that you care for her, that she can trust you and you will be attractive to her. oh yes, chemistry too, of course. those two things, and showing her you care about her are WAYYYY more important than looks.
Ross PK Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I guess maybe there could be some hope for me then. I'll have to try and be fun to be around, more easy going and not be so depressed all the time.
Ross PK Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 oh yes, chemistry too, of course. those two things, and showing her you care about her are WAYYYY more important than looks. Oh, chemistry. I don't seem to have any of that. Oh well, guess there's no hope then.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I guess maybe there could be some hope for me then. I'll have to try and be fun to be around, more easy going and not be so depressed all the time. exactly. seeming depressed is extremely unattractive to girls. if you act like your having fun and arent taking things too seriously i guarantee your luck will improve!
brainygirl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Oh, chemistry. I don't seem to have any of that. Oh well, guess there's no hope then. Chemistry, for me, just means that the way the two people's personalities mesh. Its not exactly sharing all the same opinions and preferences, but the way they compliment each other. It can have a sexual component, but sex isn't where chemistry begins or ends. I am sure there is at least one person out there you can experience chemistry with.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Chemistry, for me, just means that the way the two people's personalities mesh. Its not exactly sharing all the same opinions and preferences, but the way they compliment each other. It can have a sexual component, but sex isn't where chemistry begins or ends. I am sure there is at least one person out there you can experience chemistry with. yea, no one has chemistry by themselves, its the connection between two people. and the more happy and fun to be around you act, the more likely you are to make that connection with someone!
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I like your advice, YGG. I Just don't believe things such as gaining confidence are that clear-cut in changing a woman's outlook on you. My confidence could use improvement, honestly. Physical attraction means a lot, though, and if they aren't attracted, then that's death's door for us. I lost count of how many times I've seen this. I work at an antique mall. The owner is a short, older, scrawny guy with a scraggly gray beard. All he wears is old jeans. He's not unattractive, but there's nothing eye catching wow there. There is a frickin' line of miss lonely hearts that come through that door everyday. This man has it nailed, lol Women from their 40's to their 60's. There must be 20 of them. You know what he does? He's just not afraid to talk to them at all. And a bunch of them, after he's talked to them on several occasions, he asks for a hug when they leave. A bunch of women that he gets hugs from every week! This past week he bragged to me that a new woman came through the door, and he got two hugs. Had never spoken to her before that hour. Is he a player? Yep. But that's besides the point, or is it? I can understand someone having a difficult time meeting someone if they have a deformity. But an ordinary looking guy? Nope...it's confidence, getting out there, talking to people. Obviously, first and foremost, one can't be a hermit. Even talking to women on LS is a great start for some? I read a tiny bit of that link posted, there is an inferiority complex, an unnecessary one, for some. You know what made that gorgeous couple at the Mexican resort so unattractive? They were unapproachable. It rained horribly for 4 days, a tropical depression. Ordinary people, or the gorgeous ones, we were all in the same boat. Others made do. They sat at the bar, talked to strangers, and soon there was laughter, because make the best of a situation. Ordinary people with crooked teeth, overweight, whatever, some even with a deformity--they're still human. But those two chiseled people didn't appear human. Never did they mingle with the likes of us ordinary people. They scowled, and never did I feel the urge to even say hello to them. I felt if I did, I might get bit. They were beautiful. And there was no way in hell I was going to approach them. Attitude really does count for a lot.
marsle85 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Easier said then done,without any results it impossible to blindly have confidence no amount of cliche fluff can magically change that I think working out and getting in shape is just the opposite of "fluff". It works, it's mentally, physically and emotionally empowering. This isn't cliche, it's healthy. Working out will undoubtedly be more productive and less "cliche fluff" than a post on a message board (no offense).
Lakeside_runner Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 For all the guys who're afraid of... I don't know what. Watch this and think about it. Haha, "the day we stop looking is the day we die"
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I guess maybe there could be some hope for me then. I'll have to try and be fun to be around, more easy going and not be so depressed all the time. Hell, just act like you don't give a shyte. Have fun if fun is to be had, otherwise, don't sweat whether one girl likes you or not, because turn around, there's another girl standing there. How many women are on the planet? How many would like a bf that don't? You're a person as valuable as any other. Don't forget it for a second. Talk to women with that in mind. They're not more important than you in the universe. Neither is the guy that repeatedly gets the girls, even the players. They just know that if they are rejected by one, there's always a new one around the corner, to the point of being insensitive. As for chemistry--now that's tricky business. Nobody knows the formula, apparently it's secret to nature, personality, background, and who knows what else. Values and personality compatibility goes a long way...maybe to the point of the secret nature chemistry being over-ridden.
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 YES. YES. if a guys enjoys life and is fun to be around i can find them attractive even if they are not physically attractive to me. i was not initially attracted to my last bf, but he was so fun to be around (and confident as well) that within a week i was smitten. i then became physically attracted to him, for me and many other women i know, a fun, sweet personality is way more attractive than a hot body (or face, whatever). YEP! Good looks might get a guy the initial glance or hour of attention, but it will never hold a candle to a guy that makes a woman comfortable, makes her laugh, feel secure as in trust, and has character, personality, shares part of themselves.
MrNate Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I guess maybe there could be some hope for me then. I'll have to try and be fun to be around, more easy going and not be so depressed all the time. Definitely bud! That's the idea. No need to worry about looking universally attractive or any of that. Just go live life, be easy going, and have fun in all you do. I totally believe if you live life that way, women will want a piece of it as well.
MrNate Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I think working out and getting in shape is just the opposite of "fluff". It works, it's mentally, physically and emotionally empowering. This isn't cliche, it's healthy. Working out will undoubtedly be more productive and less "cliche fluff" than a post on a message board (no offense). Yep. It doesn't even stop there, I actually think there's more to it then that. I heard this once on the subject of confidence, it was simple but so true: 'Courage breeds units of confidence 100% of the time.' I never heard any mention of abs, chiseled jaws, certain height, etc. Only courage...something intangible and easily accessible. So, if we use courage, then we will always breed confidence 100% of the time. And that's pretty remarkable, seeing as few things in the scientific world are 100%.
stepka Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 OK, got a story for you. One night I went to the open mike comedy night with my sis b/c she had a gig. She did alright I guess. Afterwards we went to the bar and hung out and being the people watcher that I am, I began to notice the group dynamics of the young people in the bar. There was a group of nerdy and unattractive young men with another group of hot young gals around them. They were having a great time. I noticed over by the bar a young man who was very handsome--he had that chiseled face someone spoke of earlier. He was getting no attention that night and I could tell that it bothered him--maybe he wasn't used to that? Of course it was obvious what the diff was--the nerdy not so handsome guys were the stand-up comics and they were funny--they had the girls just cracking up. You could tell that they were having a great time, and some of them left as couples though I doubt that many of them had met before the show. The handsome man left alone. I won't even spell out the moral of the story.
St. Nick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 OK, got a story for you. One night I went to the open mike comedy night with my sis b/c she had a gig. She did alright I guess. Afterwards we went to the bar and hung out and being the people watcher that I am, I began to notice the group dynamics of the young people in the bar. There was a group of nerdy and unattractive young men with another group of hot young gals around them. They were having a great time. I noticed over by the bar a young man who was very handsome--he had that chiseled face someone spoke of earlier. He was getting no attention that night and I could tell that it bothered him--maybe he wasn't used to that? Of course it was obvious what the diff was--the nerdy not so handsome guys were the stand-up comics and they were funny--they had the girls just cracking up. You could tell that they were having a great time, and some of them left as couples though I doubt that many of them had met before the show. The handsome man left alone. I won't even spell out the moral of the story. Why not? Some of us wanna know. What's the moral of the story?
marsle85 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Yep. It doesn't even stop there, I actually think there's more to it then that. I heard this once on the subject of confidence, it was simple but so true: 'Courage breeds units of confidence 100% of the time.' I never heard any mention of abs, chiseled jaws, certain height, etc. Only courage...something intangible and easily accessible. So, if we use courage, then we will always breed confidence 100% of the time. And that's pretty remarkable, seeing as few things in the scientific world are 100%. siiiigh, you just made my night.
Green Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Here it is boys... the secret line... just walk up to the girl you like and say "I can fix all your problems with my penis" if you are to afraid to say that just say "your hair and my bed spread are perfectly color cordinated"
gypsy_nicky Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Yep. It doesn't even stop there, I actually think there's more to it then that. I heard this once on the subject of confidence, it was simple but so true: 'Courage breeds units of confidence 100% of the time.' I never heard any mention of abs, chiseled jaws, certain height, etc. Only courage...something intangible and easily accessible. So, if we use courage, then we will always breed confidence 100% of the time. And that's pretty remarkable, seeing as few things in the scientific world are 100%. A person with low self confidence can be courageous. A person with high self confidence can be non courageous. So courage does not make the world go round.
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