Ross PK Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Words like "I CAN'T" get a date. Balderdash! Try and tell that to the people on here, http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/ (btw there's not just love shys on there but Incels as well) Some people really can't attract women.
FitChick Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 The Woe is Me guys should put all their energy into getting a better education and job and focus on that and forget about women for a few years. Being successful will give them confidence and attract more women. The only person you can change is yourself so it's useless complaining about what other people do.
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Try and tell that to the people on here, http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/ (btw there's not just love shys on there but Incels as well) Some people really can't attract women. Is there a chance that they focus on the problem instead of the solution?
Ross PK Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Is there a chance that they focus on the problem instead of the solution? Yes, and me too. But it's because we don't know what the solution is, and for some of us including myself, there really doesn't seem to be any solution. I mean if women aren't attracted to you they aren't attracted to you.
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Yes, and me too. But it's because we don't know what the solution is, and for some of us including myself, there really doesn't seem to be any solution. I mean if women aren't attracted to you they aren't attracted to you. There's nothing unattractive about your discourse so far on this thread. I certainly didn't read your posts and think, oh, this is one of 'those' guys. I never would have guessed had you not told me.
PJKino Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 That's perhaps the most ironic part of this thread actually--because it is men who value looks far more than women do. Thats an inaccurate myth
MrNate Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 This thread has a lot of potential. If we can keep the women/men bashing out of this, I think we all might be able to learn a thing or two.
Ross PK Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 There's nothing unattractive about your discourse so far on this thread. I certainly didn't read your posts and think, oh, this is one of 'those' guys. I never would have guessed had you not told me. Thanks. But you can hardly get the same impression from just a few of my words like someone would if they met me in real life.
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Thats an inaccurate myth Is it? When most men speak about women, the first thing they think of is her looks. Is she hot? attractive? cute? pick your fave word. Now how many men ask their friend, first question, is she smart? Women on the other hand, will say, he makes good money, he's successful, he's a professional whatever, AND he's cute, or handsome, whatever word. The attractiveness comes in second place. Both are wrong, of course. Women shouldn't judge by success above all else, men shouldn't judge by looks above all else.
PJKino Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Is it? When most men speak about women, the first thing they think of is her looks. Is she hot? attractive? cute? pick your fave word. Now how many men ask their friend, first question, is she smart? Women on the other hand, will say, he makes good money, he's successful, he's a professional whatever, AND he's cute, or handsome, whatever word. The attractiveness comes in second place. Both are wrong, of course. Women shouldn't judge by success above all else, men shouldn't judge by looks above all else. Yes women want a sucessful Man but they want an attractive one as well the idea that looks arent that important to women is comical
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 This thread has a lot of potential. If we can keep the women/men bashing out of this, I think we all might be able to learn a thing or two. Well this sometimes outspoken female will help out in any way I can, that is, if my perspective could be helpful. I've just come to realize that there are many? men out there that are thoughtful, sensitive, and so under the radar that women don't know they even exist. And when I say don't know they even exist, well, if men are quiet and walk past women without saying a word, showing zero interest, no eye contact, then we simply think them uninterested from the get-go. Probably either already taken, or don't find us attractive. We don't read minds afterall. And flaws? There's somebody for everyone. I know a guy with Parkinson's who has a fiance that is borderline down's syndrome. She's not stupid, she's very high functioning. They're both 'imperfect'. Yet, they found each other.
USMCHokie Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Yes women want a sucessful Man but they want an attractive one as well the idea that looks arent that important to women is comical I'm actually going to have to agree to a certain extent with PJ here... Looks are what get you in the door, but personality is what keeps you in the house... So YouGoGirl is correct that the non-physical traits are more important to women in the end, but for first impressions, looks are usually all you have to go on...and it provides the initial "yes or no" in their mind...
You Go Girl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Yes women want a sucessful Man but they want an attractive one as well the idea that looks arent that important to women is comical Looks are in the eye of the beholder. A flashing smile is beautiful, and worth more than any perfect abs or chiseled chin. I was at a Mexican resort and there was a honeymoon couple there from Europe. They were both drop dead gorgeous, magazine cover types. They were obviously the most unhappy couple there for that week also. I saw them argue once, and whenever I saw them again during the week neither was smiling. They were both very unattractive, imho.
Cracker Jack Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I like your advice, YGG. I Just don't believe things such as gaining confidence are that clear-cut in changing a woman's outlook on you. My confidence could use improvement, honestly. Physical attraction means a lot, though, and if they aren't attracted, then that's death's door for us. I lost count of how many times I've seen this.
Green Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I am not by any means a classicaly beautiful man... I am tall... I am strong... I am smart. I never just expect women to be attracted to me... You have to WORK FOR IT. YOU NEED TO APPROACH WOMEN AND PUT YOUR ASS ON THE LINE BY DEMANDING THEIR ATTENTION(u know flirty small talk) DEMANDING THEIR TIME(u know putting them on the spot by asking them out to a specific time and place type date thing) MAKING THEM EITHER REJECT OR ACCEPT (escalating on that first date with a KISS puts them in a situation where they let it happen or they reject you) You also need to learn how to have FUN. Dating doesn't have to be treated like some job interview where you need the money to survive... HAVE FUN... be SILLY.... have SEXY time... DON"T HAVE EXPECTATIONS.... LIFE DOESN"T OWE YOU CRAP... LIFE IS UNFAIR... JUST ENJOY THE JOURNEY
PJKino Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I'm actually going to have to agree to a certain extent with PJ here... Looks are what get you in the door, but personality is what keeps you in the house... So YouGoGirl is correct that the non-physical traits are more important to women in the end, but for first impressions, looks are usually all you have to go on...and it provides the initial "yes or no" in their mind... Exactly if a person isnt physcially attracted to you on any level no amount of personality or "confidence" will change that
USMCHokie Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Exactly if a person isnt physcially attracted to you on any level no amount of personality or "confidence" will change that And this is where I'd have to disagree with you. Personality and charisma can change a woman's attraction level to you...but only if she is exposed to that personality...this often happens if you are acquaintances first and she gets to know you better over time and that attraction evolves...this actually happened to me with the ex of my best friend in high school...about a year after they broke up, she came out of nowhere and we started talking... But if you're talking about a random girl out at the bar or even out in public during the day, then yea, physical attraction king...because chances are, you'll never see them again...
PJKino Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 And this is where I'd have to disagree with you. Personality and charisma can change a woman's attraction level to you...but only if she is exposed to that personality...this often happens if you are acquaintances first and she gets to know you better over time and that attraction evolves...this actually happened to me with the ex of my best friend in high school...about a year after they broke up, she came out of nowhere and we started talking... But if you're talking about a random girl out at the bar or even out in public during the day, then yea, physical attraction king...because chances are, you'll never see them again... Ehh there has to be some physical attraction there or at the very least she cant think your ugly maybe if she thinks your average or just ok or ehh then maybe personality can make it happen
Els Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 And this is where I'd have to disagree with you. Personality and charisma can change a woman's attraction level to you...but only if she is exposed to that personality...this often happens if you are acquaintances first and she gets to know you better over time and that attraction evolves...this actually happened to me with the ex of my best friend in high school...about a year after they broke up, she came out of nowhere and we started talking... But if you're talking about a random girl out at the bar or even out in public during the day, then yea, physical attraction king...because chances are, you'll never see them again... Quoted for truth. And this is the part that boggles me. The men that go, "OMG I was at a bar the whole of last night and NO woman gave me a 2nd glance, and I got NO numbers, how will a short/unhandsome/whatever man like me ever get women? Life is unfair, women are so shallow." Like, duh, if you don't have the looks, random meetings and pick-ups at bars aren't going to be your forte. Yes, a girl who doesn't know you will look more favourably upon a dashing, debonair cutie initiating conversation with her, than the average geek. Y'know what? That's life, and that's the way it works, for women as well. So play to your strengths and not to your weaknesses, men. But noooo, apparently it's too big a waste of time to get to know a woman as a friend and conversely give her time to know you without pressure, and you don't want to risk being in the ever-dreaded friendzone, so you just keep doing the same thing that doesn't work. Over and over and over. If that ain't the definition of insanity, I don't know what is.
USMCHokie Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Ehh there has to be some physical attraction there or at the very least she cant think your ugly maybe if she thinks your average or just ok or ehh then maybe personality can make it happen Agreed. But I feel that there are relatively few truly ugly people in the world...
PJKino Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Quoted for truth. And this is the part that boggles me. The men that go, "OMG I was at a bar the whole of last night and NO woman gave me a 2nd glance, and I got NO numbers, how will a short/unhandsome/whatever man like me ever get women? Life is unfair, women are so shallow." Like, duh, if you don't have the looks, random meetings and pick-ups at bars aren't going to be your forte. Yes, a girl who doesn't know you will look more favourably upon a dashing, debonair cutie initiating conversation with her, than the average geek. Y'know what? That's life, and that's the way it works, for women as well. So play to your strengths and not to your weaknesses, men. But noooo, apparently it's too big a waste of time to get to know a woman as a friend and conversely give her time to know you without pressure, and you don't want to risk being in the ever-dreaded friendzone, so you just keep doing the same thing that doesn't work. Over and over and over. If that ain't the definition of insanity, I don't know what is. I dont have any single women in my circle of friends so its kind of hard for me to even meet single women outside of bar/club/lounge
Els Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Why do you not have any single women in your circle of friends... how old are you? Or are your friends mostly guys in general? If so, what's preventing you from having some female friends?
legallyblonde289 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 i havent read the whole thread but what you go girl is saying is absolutely true. i've dated numerous guys who i was not initially attracted to at all, but their personality made them attractive to me, and those were usually the guys that i fell for the hardest as well. i have friends that have experienced this as well. if you act fun to be around and enjoy life, and try to act confident, i guarantee you your success with women will improve.
PJKino Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Why do you not have any single women in your circle of friends... how old are you? Or are your friends mostly guys in general? If so, what's preventing you from having some female friends? Im turning 30 soon,all the female friends in my circle are mostly my married friends wives and their female friends are all in relationships..
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