Married Man, What is good sex for you?

[Lovelybird]

I saw people mention good sex or bad sex, I am wondering what is good sex for you married man? Can you give some details if possible? such as she is active? passive? and some other things.....? What does she do that make her good sex partner?

 

Will her unavailableness make you feel more passion for her?

 

Will her experience in this area before you affect her attractiveness in this area? such as lack of experience, or much more experience in sex activity

 

Or it is her personality and whole person that makes her a good sex partner?

 

This is a question for men, but women also are welcomed to post

Edited May 23, 2010 by Lovelybird

[Scrybe]

Well I'll speak as a married man in my mid 30's with 2 young kids.

 

Having sex frequently enough is where it starts for me. How often couples have sex is all over the place depending on their age, number of kids and other factors but I generally like it twice a week on average. At least that's my goal. I don't get it that often regularly now but I"m working on it! :-)

 

Once it's happening I much prefer my wife to be "in to it". I like to feel not only like the only man in her universe but the only ANYTHING in her universe. I want to know that I'm pleasing her. I want her to want to please me. I also want a little variety...change things up every now again. Surprise me from time to time by doing something different or out of character.

 

I like a woman who communicates and let's me know what she wants and when I"m doing it right. I also like a woman to flip the script and seduce me once in awhile.

 

As far as experience goes. I think attitude is more important than experience. I she's inexperienced then be open to try different things. Try to relax and have fun with it. If she's experienced then don't be shy! Show me what ya got!

 

Does that help?

[Lovelybird]

Thank you, Scrybe, yes, this does help me to understand more

 

frequency and attitude

 

So, when a man says "she is the best in bed ever than all other women", does he mean she is very hot because she does things in bed like those hot actress in movie? jump up on their husband, very active in bed, tear his shirt apart that kind of things?

 

or the desires to be close to you in her eyes that she doesn't try to hide from you make her the hottest?

[You Go Girl]

As an older, more experienced woman, I say just be yourself. Don't try to imitate movies--that's not you, that's fake.

You will learn how to relate to your SO and the two of you together will make your own music, don't worry or concern yourself with others.

Experience plays a role. But so does knowing your partner, and what they like, and mostly--what the two of you both like.

Sex isn't about trying to be someone you're not. It's about you connecting with someone.

Don't do yourself a disservice by pretending anything. Just be real.

[rewe4reel]

I consider it "good sex" when she doesn't cry during or afterwards.

[LucreziaBorgia]

So, when a man says "she is the best in bed ever than all other women", does he mean she is very hot because she does things in bed like those hot actress in movie? jump up on their husband, very active in bed, tear his shirt apart that kind of things?

 

I would think that a man would find a woman best in bed when she is herself, is enjoying herself, and enjoys pleasuring her man in her own way rather than to have to resort to artificial porn tactics.

 

There's a certain hollowness and emptiness to that sort of 'porn sex' where people are clearly acting on fantasy and not really on each other.

 

That to me is the difference between intimate sex and just plain old f*cking.

[You Go Girl]

I would think that a man would find a woman best in bed when she is herself, is enjoying herself, and enjoys pleasuring her man in her own way rather than to have to resort to artificial porn tactics.

 

There's a certain hollowness and emptiness to that sort of 'porn sex' where people are clearly acting on fantasy and not really on each other.

 

That to me is the difference between intimate sex and just plain old f*cking.

 

Exactly. At that point, a woman may as well charge money for the experience.

It's far too desperate.

[Toodamnpragmatic]

But I am happy both our organs are working and I look forward to it and she orgasms..... Very simple tastes and expectations after 24 years...... Oh and i find her gorgeous too and am still in love and lust;).....

[txsilkysmoothe]

But I am happy both our organs are working and I look forward to it and she orgasms..... Very simple tastes and expectations after 24 years...... Oh and i find her gorgeous too and am still in love and lust;).....

 

 

That's so sweet!

[seibert253]

I saw people mention good sex or bad sex, I am wondering what is good sex for you married man? Can you give some details if possible? such as she is active? passive? and some other things.....? What does she do that make her good sex partner?

 

Will her unavailableness make you feel more passion for her?

 

Will her experience in this area before you affect her attractiveness in this area? such as lack of experience, or much more experience in sex activity

 

Or it is her personality and whole person that makes her a good sex partner?

 

This is a question for men, but women also are welcomed to post

 

For many married men, who've been M'd 10yrs +, any sex is good sex because it's far and inbetween.

[redtail]

I saw people mention good sex or bad sex, I am wondering what is good sex for you married man?

...

 

I'm 54 and on my second marriage. Good sex starts between the ears long before it gets to between the legs. Attitude is what is sexy, when we talk about having sex so we can both anticipate being together. When we both initiate sex so I know it's something she wants as well. Giving and getting pleasure and enjoying the moments leisurely.

 

It's the little day to day things we do that add up to having a great time in the bedroom, at least in my humble opinion...

[Scrybe]

Well...there's room for everything with your spouse including "porn" sex but that's not the most important thing. I've never really enjoyed being with woman who try and imitate the movies. It usually shoes immaturity or inexperience. Confidence and variety are good attributes. Wanting to turn your man on and knowing how. You only get to that point by getting to know your partner well and that takes experience and communication and love never hurts...only helps!

 

Everyman is different and you just have to figure it out. I like my wife to rip my clothes off once in a great while but that's not really our style. Just figure out what he likes and do your best to make it happen.

 

To put it another way...the worst sex I've ever had was with women who didn't care what it felt like for me or what I wanted. The best took the time to figure out what turns me on and do it well.

 

How do you figure it out? Ask questions is the easiest most direct but you can also just get clues from when you are intimate with him. Try different things, different outfits, different looks, different prefumes, different rooms, different positions and watch how he reacts. You'll get it.

 

Also...just because he says you were the best doesn't mean that you were. You'll know based on his body's reaction.

 

Thank you, Scrybe, yes, this does help me to understand more

 

frequency and attitude

 

So, when a man says "she is the best in bed ever than all other women", does he mean she is very hot because she does things in bed like those hot actress in movie? jump up on their husband, very active in bed, tear his shirt apart that kind of things?

 

or the desires to be close to you in her eyes that she doesn't try to hide from you make her the hottest?

[Lovelybird]

As an older, more experienced woman, I say just be yourself. Don't try to imitate movies--that's not you, that's fake.

You will learn how to relate to your SO and the two of you together will make your own music, don't worry or concern yourself with others.

Experience plays a role. But so does knowing your partner, and what they like, and mostly--what the two of you both like.

Sex isn't about trying to be someone you're not. It's about you connecting with someone.

Don't do yourself a disservice by pretending anything. Just be real.

I agree.

 

 

I consider it "good sex" when she doesn't cry during or afterwards.

Could it be possible she cried for joy?

 

 

I would think that a man would find a woman best in bed when she is herself, is enjoying herself, and enjoys pleasuring her man in her own way rather than to have to resort to artificial porn tactics.

 

There's a certain hollowness and emptiness to that sort of 'porn sex' where people are clearly acting on fantasy and not really on each other.

 

That to me is the difference between intimate sex and just plain old f*cking.

Indeed the porn sex does have very negative influence on people.

 

 

But I am happy both our organs are working and I look forward to it and she orgasms..... Very simple tastes and expectations after 24 years...... Oh and i find her gorgeous too and am still in love and lust;).....

That is great thing to hear !

 

For many married men, who've been M'd 10yrs +, any sex is good sex because it's far and inbetween.

I'm 54 and on my second marriage. Good sex starts between the ears long before it gets to between the legs. Attitude is what is sexy, when we talk about having sex so we can both anticipate being together. When we both initiate sex so I know it's something she wants as well. Giving and getting pleasure and enjoying the moments leisurely.

 

It's the little day to day things we do that add up to having a great time in the bedroom, at least in my humble opinion...

relieved to hear this. I read some posts on the dating forum, it seems like people put great expectation on sex, almost inhuman, married men sound more human and realistic. To be honest, I don't know what I will be like, and read those posts, feel like they are expecting a porn queen something right away, so I wonder what married men usually think

 

 

 

To put it another way...the worst sex I've ever had was with women who didn't care what it felt like for me or what I wanted. The best took the time to figure out what turns me on and do it well.

 

How do you figure it out? Ask questions is the easiest most direct but you can also just get clues from when you are intimate with him. Try different things, different outfits, different looks, different prefumes, different rooms, different positions and watch how he reacts. You'll get it.

I see, good points.

 

Also...just because he says you were the best doesn't mean that you were. You'll know based on his body's reaction

I don't even want to hear he tell me in my face I am the best, because that means he is comparing me with other women, cannot feel that much special

 

I guess the sex area is a very delicate matter, when people say it is good or bad, they are talking about emotions, feelings, attitudes toward each other rather than simply what-they-do?