petiteprincess Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 (edited) Okay..Let me start from the beginning. I am 30. I met a guy on the internet 6 months ago. Im a very cute girl and yet i was afraid of being rejected. I passed myself off as a completely different person as far as what I looked like being an idiot not even thinking anything about it. I did lie about what I looked like and to be honest... i did not think the relationship would go past a long distance friendship where we would never meet. Well, he fell in love with me and I with him with a few weeks of daily talking. I never mentioned that I lied early on. We eventually met 2 months ago and before he flew here i told him the truth. He was very crushed but met me anyway. Of course the trust was broken and changed his feelings towards me. He decided to stay friends with me since he doesnt have close friends and enjoys talking to me. We did have a rough patch but all is well now. I am still deeply in love with him. We talk daily multiple times a day and text a lot too. The "L" word has not been said again by him or I since before we met 2 months ago. I am still in love with him deeply. I email him and tell him on the phone all the time that I still adore him all the time and have mad love for him. I am now moving to the state where he lives and he said he cant wait to hang out with me. He has kids as well and says i can hang out with them too and him. He refers to me as a good friend now. I am in turmoil because I love him madly and want to be with him as more than a good friend. We are perfect for each other and I know he knows this. I say all the right things at all the right times and he makes me feel great too. I mentioned dating him and he said that he doesnt want a girlfriend or to date anyone because he doesnt wanna get hurt. He is 36 and has 2 kids. He knows i love kids which is a bonus too. I think i should just be persistent and hang out in person with him when i move and see what happens. Its hard because this love i have for him is kinda killing me because i cant stop it no matter what I do. Can anyone offer me advise? I realize he may not physically be into me after he found out who i really was and you cant change chemistry. Its weird cause part of me wants to walk away and see if he follows and part of me wants to just continue and see where it goes. Edited May 23, 2010 by petiteprincess added to the story
Ronni_W Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 We are perfect for each other and I know he knows this. If he believed what you believe about that, then he would be interested in you as his romantic partner...and he would be expressing his interest in the same way as, or more fervently than, he did in those early days. Especially since he's now met you, he would be more certain of his feelings and more confident to express them to you. He has been very honest with you. Even if you do try to manipulate him by threatening to go 'no contact', you still won't find out what think you don't yet know. But. He's already told you what you need to know, hasn't he? You're just choosing to not believe him, yet. Honestly, I would encourage you to pay close attention to that part of you that wants to walk away. Based on what the guy has made clear to you, that part that is telling you to just walk away is your wisest, most protective, strongest ally. I would not ignore it.
Author petiteprincess Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 I think part of the problem is that John tells me that we will see what happens when we hang out and when we spend time together. The situation was awkward between us when he came to see me and i really didnt know how to act around him for those 2 days when i saw him. He has never had a good relationship with a woman because they all treated him wrong and cheated and his ex was a complete psycho. He literally doesnt trust women so that fact that he trusts me says a lot to me. Im going to let him lead on this one and see what happens but i cant imagine not having him in my life.
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