Engadget Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 What does it really mean, especially if you're not already established friends?
alphamale Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 when chicks complain about their SO it means that she is quite emotionally entwined with him and cares for him
SilentVoice Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 It means walk in the other direction... Unless you guys are friends it will only bring trouble.
Author Engadget Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 when chicks complain about their SO it means that she is quite emotionally entwined with him and cares for him Cares for him perhaps, wants to be with him, not usually. There are 3 girls interested in me on different levels that are doing it, and one's getting a divorce, and the other already broke up with her boyfriend. Then again I'm told I'm a good listener, which I used to take negatively back in the day, but now it's a positive trait they actually seem to be interested in.
FitChick Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 It means she is betraying her boyfriend's trust by talking to other people outside the relationship, airing their dirty laundry. I consider that betrayal and have always made it clear to men I date that is how I feel. If you have a problem with the boyfriend or girlfriend, how will complaining to anyone else change their behavior? You are better off posting anonymously here for objective opinions. Friends will only tell you what you want to hear anyway.
rewe4reel Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I would be straight up with them, if I were you. If you're interested in them romantically, tell them you hope they work things out with their bf's, but if and when they start dating around again, you would like to have a date with them. Tell them you like them but are not interested in becoming part of a romantic triangle. If you're not interested in them romantically, tell them you hope things work out for them either with the bf or without the bf. Don't jump on the criticism of the bf bandwagon unless you personally know the guy and he deserves it. I mean what are you, just a shoulder to cry on?
Author Engadget Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 It means she is betraying her boyfriend's trust by talking to other people outside the relationship, airing their dirty laundry. I consider that betrayal and have always made it clear to men I date that is how I feel. If you have a problem with the boyfriend or girlfriend, how will complaining to anyone else change their behavior? You are better off posting anonymously here for objective opinions. Friends will only tell you what you want to hear anyway. Well I guess, but if the problems have become that bad, and communication has broken down that much you can't talk to the person about it. One of these girls is getting a divorce, and we were friends, then FWB. We couldn't speak because her husband knew of our history, so once it fell apart I was the first person she came to. The other girl and I had a moment, and her ex treated her like dog **** basically. So we talk in secret because I know her ex, and am actually going out with him tonight. I know, I'm a bad person.
Woggle Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I give them advice once and if they don't take it I never give it again.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Well I guess, but if the problems have become that bad, and communication has broken down that much you can't talk to the person about it. One of these girls is getting a divorce, and we were friends, then FWB. We couldn't speak because her husband knew of our history, so once it fell apart I was the first person she came to. The other girl and I had a moment, and her ex treated her like dog **** basically. So we talk in secret because I know her ex, and am actually going out with him tonight. I know, I'm a bad person. is the girl whose ex started a fight? if so, i dont think you're a bad person you're friends with the brother, not him, so you don't owe him anything (if i'm remembering correctly)
Author Engadget Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 is the girl whose ex started a fight? if so, i dont think you're a bad person you're friends with the brother, not him, so you don't owe him anything (if i'm remembering correctly) Yes you remember correctly, that's him. The police are convinced an angry boyfriend wrecked my car that night, but I wasn't going to tell them about him being pissed. I actually like this girl though, we had a real connection, more significant than I felt with any other girl I've talked to. She lives in another state and I'm trying to get her to come down and spend time with me, without seeming like I'm jumping into the void he left behind. We have mutual friends, her ex's brother, his girlfriend, etc. etc. So if we did date I imagine it would be incredibly awkward. However my friend's girlfriend I think knows there's something there, as she fed her drinks as she basically touched me that night, and told her to break up with her bf's brother. Human relationships are confusing, and since I was with the same girl for years this is kind of the floodgates.
sagetalk Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Well I guess, but if the problems have become that bad, and communication has broken down that much you can't talk to the person about it. One of these girls is getting a divorce, and we were friends, then FWB. We couldn't speak because her husband knew of our history, so once it fell apart I was the first person she came to. The other girl and I had a moment, and her ex treated her like dog **** basically. So we talk in secret because I know her ex, and am actually going out with him tonight. I know, I'm a bad person. Why the heck are you sneaking around so much? That's shady. I hope you are not trying to have sex with these girls when they are vulnerable. If you are doing this because you care about them, then great. If you are doing this to get easy sex, then you know what you are.
Author Engadget Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 Why the heck are you sneaking around so much? That's shady. I hope you are not trying to have sex with these girls when they are vulnerable. If you are doing this because you care about them, then great. If you are doing this to get easy sex, then you know what you are. Well if you've seen my other posts, sex isn't my objective. The other girl I'm seeing I've deliberately friend zoned because she got involved with someone I know, and things went to hell between them. We both want it, but I've kept away from even kissing her so we don't create problems, and can remain friends. I'm looking for something more, and the woman who will be getting divorced and I were involved for two years, and before that were friends and I've missed her like crazy. We just couldn't talk because of her being married, and her husband knowing our history. The other girl I actually like, and I'm not going to throw that away because her ex is an *******.
alphamale Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 when chicks talk they are just burning off steam. don't take it too seriously. they have to talk to feel better
legallyblonde289 Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Well if you've seen my other posts, sex isn't my objective. The other girl I'm seeing I've deliberately friend zoned because she got involved with someone I know, and things went to hell between them. We both want it, but I've kept away from even kissing her so we don't create problems, and can remain friends. I'm looking for something more, and the woman who will be getting divorced and I were involved for two years, and before that were friends and I've missed her like crazy. We just couldn't talk because of her being married, and her husband knowing our history. The other girl I actually like, and I'm not going to throw that away because her ex is an *******. i think you should go for it, and i dont think your brother's friend will hold it against you especially if you tell him you genuinely like her. if you don't you might always wonder what if...
Author Engadget Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 i think you should go for it, and i dont think your brother's friend will hold it against you especially if you tell him you genuinely like her. if you don't you might always wonder what if... I'm trying to convince her to come down and spend the night at my place as we speak, we'll see how it goes.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I'm trying to convince her to come down and spend the night at my place as we speak, we'll see how it goes. good for you! good luck:D
sagetalk Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Well if you've seen my other posts, sex isn't my objective. The other girl I'm seeing I've deliberately friend zoned because she got involved with someone I know, and things went to hell between them. We both want it, but I've kept away from even kissing her so we don't create problems, and can remain friends. I'm looking for something more, and the woman who will be getting divorced and I were involved for two years, and before that were friends and I've missed her like crazy. We just couldn't talk because of her being married, and her husband knowing our history. The other girl I actually like, and I'm not going to throw that away because her ex is an *******. It sounds like you're holding lit dynamite to me, but you're old enough so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you know what you're doing. Just be careful with these situations.
Author Engadget Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 good for you! good luck:D I love that tension when you dance around the issue, the proverbial mating dance if you will. That's the best part
phineas Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I give them advice once and if they don't take it I never give it again. pretty much this except I REALLY REALLY REALLY do not want to hear about some chicks boyfriend problems. Of course, my advice is usually "He's a looser that doesn't respect you. Dump him" I'm almost always correct because usually a yr later he cheats on them.
start-fresh Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Without taking this thread off on a major tangent, I'm kinda going through the same thing and wouldn't mind dating the girl if things fall through with her boyfriend. Does it mean anything if she drops hints they're having problems and then changes the subject rather than gushing about it? She's joked in the past she would come live with me if things hit the fan. I'm pretty sure I'm grasping at straws here... Engadget, are you worried about being the rebound guy in these situations? It's kind of hard to tell sometimes what their motives are, but I agree with sagetalk that you seem to know what you're doing.
JohnP82 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I usually tune her out or find a way out of the conversation
PersonMan Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Broads like this get annoying quick. Give her a Utica Boiler, if that doesnt work then move on
Citizen Erased Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 I don't get why people do this. Sure, to a very close friend discussing relationship issues are normal. Or your therpaist. Or heck even places like LS. But really it's better to be going to your SO to discuss and resolve, not bitching to anyone that will listen how awful you are being treated and trying to get people on your "side". Chances are they're not perfect themselves and are in fact an epic headache.
pantherj Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Maybe I'm too negative, but I'd rather poke out my eardrums than listen to a girl talk about her troubles with her SO.
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