USMCHokie Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 On a purely physical level, I don't give a hoot about a "hot body", and seeing as how I'm heavy myself, a hot body actually ruins my interest because now I think "oh great, what's he going to think about me? He's out of my league, etc" It's interesting that you say this...the last girl I was seeing was a bit heavier and I was a little concerned that she thought that...even my ex had expressed concerns about the pressure she felt to get in better shape...so is this a legitimate feeling that women have...?
Green Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 A really fat out of shape girl is going to have a fat face... which to me is unattactive... My point is out of shape bodies often make out of shape faces....
Author FitChick Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 To all the people who prefer a pretty/handsome face, saying "they can always change the body," what if that person doesn't want to change? In that case, would a pretty face be able to overcome your aversion to the body?
USMCHokie Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 To all the people who prefer a pretty/handsome face, saying "they can always change the body," what if that person doesn't want to change? In that case, would a pretty face be able to overcome your aversion to the body? Well, here's another way of looking at it...a person's body is a reflection of the way they take care of themselves...and that is a pretty strong reflection of that person's personality...and how much they value themselves and their health...
brainygirl Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Well, here's another way of looking at it...a person's body is a reflection of the way they take care of themselves...and that is a pretty strong reflection of that person's personality...and how much they value themselves and their health... or its a reflection of the amount of free time and extra money they have to spend on gym memberships and exercise equipment.
rakhana Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 It's interesting that you say this...the last girl I was seeing was a bit heavier and I was a little concerned that she thought that...even my ex had expressed concerns about the pressure she felt to get in better shape...so is this a legitimate feeling that women have...? I wouldn't say all women but for some women like myself who have low self-esteem- a man who really busts his ass in the gym can make us feel intimidated. It's a confidence thing, really. To me, everyone seems to be out of my league A really fat out of shape girl is going to have a fat face... which to me is unattactive... My point is out of shape bodies often make out of shape faces.... I was born with a pear shaped body. I couldn't procure decent full body shots of myself for the longest time so I'd have a bunch of guys who would- in spite of me labeling myself as a "bbw", assume I wasn't that fat until they met me IRL, at which point I could palpate their shock and disappointment.
USMCHokie Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 or its a reflection of the amount of free time and extra money they have to spend on gym memberships and exercise equipment. Everyone has their priorities.
tigressA Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Neither has precedence over the other for me. I would never sacrifice one for the other. Being physically attracted to someone's entire outer appearance is very important to me and I don't compromise on that. I did once and I ended up regretting it.
Author FitChick Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 or its a reflection of the amount of free time and extra money they have to spend on gym memberships and exercise equipment. I can solve that problem: Half an hour per day exercising at home. There are loads of DVDs and free downloads online. You can even work out naked. Even more minimalist: do crunches, pushups and run up and down the stairs. You've worked your whole body. Cut portion sizes and stop eating junk. Result? Great new you!
EmeraldHeart Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 I prefer a guy with a good looking face versus a great body. I am going to be seeing his face a lot more than I am going to be seeing his naked body. If he has great hair...well damn, that is just the icing on the cake!
ADF Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 A slim and fit body can signal "player" just as clearly and reliably as a beautiful face. Nothing wrong with being fit. But people who cultivate extreme levels of fitness--unless they are professional athletes or something--are often shallow and vain. Not always. But often.
brainygirl Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 A slim and fit body can signal "player" just as clearly and reliably as a beautiful face. Nothing wrong with being fit. But people who cultivate extreme levels of fitness--unless they are professional athletes or something--are often shallow and vain. Not always. But often. I spent a year living with a guy who was an mature body builder. He did the competitions and was trying to break in to MMA fighting. Spent hours in the gym and when he wasn't in the gym he was obsessing about his work outs. Everything had to be about him. His diet, his workout, and he couldn't pass a reflective surface without stopping to flex. Now I'm raising the son we had together and haven't heard from him in over four years. So, personally, a good body isn't a priority.
JohnM Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 A girl could have a hot body but unless she has a pretty face I'm just not interested. Its the thing I focus most on as I'm all about eyes and a great smile. Has to have at least an average body or carrying a few extra pounds is now fine by me.
MrNate Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 You know what they call a hot girl with a not so pretty face?
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 (edited) I don't care what a guy's face looks like (unless he's the Elephant Man) but I like a slim and fit body. My friend says she can accept a pot belly if the guy has a handsome face because when they are in bed, he's usually covered up to his neck so looking at that face would turn her on. I am turned off by handsome faces because the word "player" always springs to mind. I know I am prejudiced, but that's been my experience. I will take a plain guy who values me over a handsome one always on the lookout for someone better or who always has women offering themselves. Why court trouble? I'm the Face Man. I don't care that much about a body. And evolutionary science agrees with me. Attractive face is the major sign of good health. I'm sure you wouldn't like me then. I get the player card anywhere I turn. It is quite funny because I always was after deep romance. But nope, they think here goes the playa...they treat me with contempt....I get disgusted/tired of that and eject. Well, shyt happens. gonna change that this month....gonna swim with the stream. Might not be exactly what my soul needs but sorry my dreamed kids, daddy needs some. Btw...you go for fit men? Get a f@ck outahere. Everyone knows that the first guy with a gut who pulls your hair during sex and make you tremble will win that 'who is the fittest' contest. Edited June 5, 2010 by DanielMadr
Kang Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 If I can't look the girl I'm dating in the eyes because of how ugly her face is, I wouldn't be able to do anything with her. So I'd rather pick a pretty face than a hot bod.
EmeraldHeart Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Everyone knows that the first guy with a gut who pulls your hair during sex and make you tremble will win that 'who is the fittest' contest. HAHA! It's true!
DanielMadr Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 (edited) A slim and fit body can signal "player" just as clearly and reliably as a beautiful face. Now I am really f@cked. Selling punching bag tomorrow. Maybe some scars would help too. One thing I don't get. I always thought that a guys personality/drive is much more important. And even here everyone tells the sad "average" guys that the problem is not their face but their behavior. So if girls don't go for the good looking ones as much as they do for the confident guys...how can a good looking guy score with girls, have options, and become a player? I am f@cking sentenced to be a player. I have the confidence too....I can kill a guy with one blow and I am good in quantum mechanics...that gives you some confidence. Hey, what does the player actually do for living? Edited June 5, 2010 by DanielMadr
brainygirl Posted June 5, 2010 Posted June 5, 2010 Now I am really f@cked. Selling punching bag tomorrow. Maybe some scars would help too. One thing I don't get. I always thought that a guys personality/drive is much more important. And even here everyone tells the sad "average" guys that the problem is not their face but their behavior. So if girls don't go for the good looking ones as much as they do for the confident guys...how can a good looking guy score with girls, have options, and become a player? I am f@cking sentenced to be a player. I have the confidence too....I can kill a guy with one blow and I am good in quantum mechanics...that gives you some confidence. Hey, what does the player actually do for living? I think being a player is more dependent on your behavior not how others treat you. Just like women know that a guy who treats her like crud or like she's there for his sexual gratification isn't the guy for her, you need to look for a woman who values the same things you do in relationships. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
DanielMadr Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 I think being a player is more dependent on your behavior not how others treat you. Just like women know that a guy who treats her like crud or like she's there for his sexual gratification isn't the guy for her, you need to look for a woman who values the same things you do in relationships. At least that's what I keep telling myself. O.K. but when people treat you as a player....lots of trust issues...your behavior can't keep up with the prejudice. You can't go to a girl telling her "Hi, my name is Dan and I am never gonna leave you." First it is BS because you don't even know her and second it just kills the attraction process or whatever. And you did not answer the main question....Why do girls say that personality is more important (and I don't think they lie) but assume every good looking guy is a player (has lots of girls). How can he have lots of girls if looks are not that important???
brainygirl Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 O.K. but when people treat you as a player....lots of trust issues...your behavior can't keep up with the prejudice. You can't go to a girl telling her "Hi, my name is Dan and I am never gonna leave you." First it is BS because you don't even know her and second it just kills the attraction process or whatever. And you did not answer the main question....Why do girls say that personality is more important (and I don't think they lie) but assume every good looking guy is a player (has lots of girls). How can he have lots of girls if looks are not that important??? I can't answer for girls, I am not all girls, I am me, and I think I am not a typical girl. I do not assume handsome men are players. I assume men who are with a different girl every time you see them or who seem to have woman drama following them around are players. And I know how hard it can be to get people to see past preconceived ideas about yourself. People know certain things about me and assume certain things. Its very hard to get someone to see past my past, so to speak. And then there's the fact that different people have different motives for pursuing relationships. My motives may be different than another woman's motives. If I go out with a guy my motivation is to get to know him and see if a bond leading to a long term relationship can form. If it doesn't seem to be going that way, I break things off or he does.
DanielMadr Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 And I know how hard it can be to get people to see past preconceived ideas about yourself. People know certain things about me and assume certain things. Its very hard to get someone to see past my past, so to speak. What is it? Would you like to share?
brainygirl Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 What is it? Would you like to share? I have three kids, youngest of which was born when I was 17. I've had guys, who weren't perfect themselves, tell me that they wouldn't seriously date me because of it. This from guys who also have kids.
DanielMadr Posted June 6, 2010 Posted June 6, 2010 I have three kids, youngest of which was born when I was 17. I've had guys, who weren't perfect themselves, tell me that they wouldn't seriously date me because of it. This from guys who also have kids. It looks like you missed the Sunday school and slept during biology class when they were talking about condoms. Thats why they don't want to seriously date you...you are bad student. There is not many single fathers I guess which would be the best option I suppose. But I'm sure some gentleman with his kids grown up will not mind. Actually I think you did good. It is better to have kids sooner then later. Now you are free to do the "career" thing without biological clock ticking pressure. Some girls wait till 30 (career they have is no big deal anyway), "enjoying" their youth, risk problematic pregnancy thanks to age and they end up single anyway... because they married a 30 yo coworker who just found out he is finally in demand on sex market. How are the kids? Do they behave?
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