Got dumped a week ago...did NC...now he "misses me" and wants to talk...

[Heartache Lives On]

I went through a painful loss in July 2009. My fiancee unexpectedly left me (and my daughter...not his biological child). After 7 months, I had just gotten over that pain and started casually dating a few people. Really hit it off with one of the guys and we decided to see where it was going to take us and date exclusively. It got serious fast, but I was trying to take things at my own pace. He wanted to see me all the time...I was trying to maintain some personal space. He was excited to meet my daughter...I wanted to be sure he was going to stick around before doing so. He was an absolute sweetheart...treated me well, respectfully, was giving, funny, fun, sex was great...both of us were already seeing a future together, although I was more hesitant to put 100% in to this because well, it had only been 3 months!!

 

So, last Saturday night was "date night". I was tired and not in the best of moods that day, for no reason in particular. We went out for dinner and he was bugging me about "what was wrong" and could not seem to understand that nothing in particular...just "one of those days." I mean, I'm a woman right!? We have hormones, emotions (a roller coaster of them), we laugh, we cry, we get moods!! Anyway, he couldn't seem to handle this. I tried hard to lighten the mood, make conversation and started to feel better. He got really weird and said he couldn't understand how I could go from one mood to another like that. He then answered a phone call, told the person he'd be there in an hour and did not explain to me what that was all about (and we were on our date!). So of course I got in a funny mood again. By then we had also shared a bottle of wine, so the alcohol could have been a factor. We left the restaurant in silence, he took me home and in the car I started to cry. I was hurt and confused. When we got to my place he asked why I was crying, I said I was upset about how the night went and didn't understand why we were being so weird. He got all emotional too, said he was leaving, and told me to text him if I "needed him". I was tipsy, I was tired and I was confused. Went to bed.

 

Texted him the next morning to ask if we were going to be able to work things out. I get responded to by a bunch of text messages breaking up with me saying he was hurt by how I acted. If we were meant to be together I wouldn't have treated him that way. He thinks that one day I'll be able to let someone in, but he thinks he's the guy to come along and show me what happens when I don't, etc, etc. He would not let me call him or see him, and when I pretty much begged that he reconsider, he said he couldn't give me an answer and didn't know when he could. So I gave space.

 

The next day his facebook says that he's gone from "Being in a Relationship" to "Single", so that was my answer right there. I made no contact with him all week and then yesterday I get an "I'd like to talk to you sometime...don't want to push it...not sure if you want to see me at all? By the way I miss you" message!!!

 

Insight?!?!? PLEASE! Men??

[robs]

I hate to say it, but it sounds like he has been doing one of two things.

 

First option is he was going through the commitment thing. Asking if you are all he wants and to really go for it. I know this can be a real problem as i went through it myself and lost my lovely girl as a result, now trying to get her back!

 

The other option is he has feelings for someone else, and is or was making a choice.

 

But us guys can be like that. Needing to lose someone special to find out how they feel. I'd ask questions about that phone call, but maybe u should give him a chance, cautiously, and see where it goes. Sometimes we all need a second chance! Rob