lovepeaaaches Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 My first boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago, and obviously from this post, I'm not completely over him...The thing is, he was my first, which is why I am having a difficult time getting over him. I've kept myself busy through school, friends, and other activities, but I still have times in the shower when i reminisce and can't help but break down. Anyway, my question is: should I try to get him back or just forget everything? The "reason" he broke up with me: -Doesn't know how to have deep relationships with anyone (even old friends or family) -Stressed out from exams (seems like everyone around us is breaking up too this time of the year) -Influenced by others on what "love" is supposed to be and didn't fit our relationship? What I did: He of course asked to be friends but I told him no, at this point I just can't I made a premature reconciliation a week later, saying i'm not ready to be friends, gave back gifts/notes (he was almost breaking down at this point), agreed to not hate/ignore each other. I told him that talking to people helped me get over him mostly and telling him how I felt will help me move on somehow (which was true) but he made it more difficult by saying he can't completely be over me (but telling his friends that he IS infact over me). He is sending mixed signals (looking away when I am laughing with friends) but i catch him looking with a sad face....? I know this shouldn't matter, but his friends all try to catch up w/ me whether it is guilt by association or if they actually are concerned about me. They also comment on how they have never seen him this sad about dumping someone... I am just torn whether I should contact him again in a few months agreeing to the breakup because I will be busy too and just requesting light conversation to catch up, or just regret how things ended by letting this "go":(
ADF Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I would not try to get back together with this man. It is clear from your post that you want a genuine, meaningful relationship. There are some HUGE red flags here that suggest he doesn't. For rexample: 1) A man who says he doesn't know how to have "deep relations" with anyone is usually a man who is into hook ups, FWB, etc. He doesn't want to say so. It isn't that he doesn't know how. It is that he doesn't want to. 2) That blather about what love really means and whether it "fits" your relationship also sounds like the double-talk of guy who only really wants no-string sex. I am sure this man has a certain amount of affection for you, and that is making losing you difficult or him. But at the end of the day, it sounds like what he really wants is a sex android, not a woman.
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