dandelions Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I feel bad about it because she accused me of being disrespectful and unappreciative today. She kept talking about how much she sacrificed for me and how little I give back in return. It's not that. And I tried to explain it to her but she told me to get out. I don't have any place to go so I went to my room. All I tried to tell her was that I was appreciative and I do respect her. There was a time when I wanted to be just like her but she always made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Not worthy of her respect, you know? So I stopped caring, which didn't mean I stopped respecting, just so I wouldn't feel sad if she didn't approve of what I was doing anymore. She than accused me of being kinder to my father even though he's hardly present. I don't need reminder that my dad probably doesn't even know how old I am and I'm only nicer to him because when I tell him my accomplishments (even if his reaction is fake), he acts happy. Whereas she asks me why I didn't get one step higher than what I did. We have this conversation all the time but she always ends it with telling me to move out because it's her home and I should do what she says. I guess I should start looking for a place. I'm graduating this year from high school and I'll move out eventually, I think I'll just push it up. But the question is... should I break contact with her? I feel like I'm never going to be good enough and she makes me feel so bad for telling her what I feel. Like now, she's sobbing away in her room with the door open. I feel bad but I wish she'd listen. She never listens and she makes me feel bad. And if I do, what do I do? She'll want to talk and so on but I feel like I get thrown around every time I relent and start talking to her again.
hurtandheartbroken Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I think you should also post in the family forum. It may be better suited for you! Wow a toughie...it's hard having a parent who doesn't see eye to eye to you. While I don't think you should completely cut contact, distance often helps the issues that arrive in a parent/child entering into adulthood relationships. They still see you as their baby who should always listen to what they say, you see yourself as a (somewhat) independent adult. I hope you can find a place soon if possible or go of to college. It can be hard on your own. If your mum didn't care, she wouldn't be hurt to the point of crying, there's just a detachment of communication/power struggle/her own issues with your dad...so many things maybe. For now, while don't walk on eggshells, sometimes avoiding her as best as possible while you get through the school year may be ideal. Have you tried writing a heartfelt letter? That way she can't shut you out and over talk you...
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