LostInLimbo Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 I went through a terrible break up that involved 2 children, not mine and my ex cheating on me twice, then always wanting to come back, in which I allowed her to do, she did this four times, til finally she left in Jan/10 again and I had had enough. I recently posted I found someone finally that I am so happy with, which I will never allow that Nighmare in my life again, cuz it seemed she used the kids last time to get back in, as thats my weakness. My question is, is I have made it quite clear on my FB that I am so happy, putting different status up, pics of me and my new GF, I have one slogan up there stating how happy I finally am, and its been up there for a bit. Just recently I received a Txt from my ex telling me to watch what I put on FB as her kids read it, (no swearing/bashing or any Vulgarism, just that I am happy) and was told I've been warned because it upset her kids and if I had anything to say, direct it to her not her kids, all it said was I thought I had been happy for the 4 yrs but know I wasn't because I am now.. We are talking about a mother who left them behind when she left 5 yrs ago, who they are now 13 and 7 and still with there Dad, so I then explained to her daughter in a txt msg that anything I wrote on FB had nothing to do with them and if not for them I wouldn't have stayed around as long as I did. I did get a reply from her daughter telling me how she misses me and things, just seemed upset/unhappy I txt the Ex to let her know that I explained to her daughter and how her daughter seems unhappy, but was told I shouldn't have txt her as she had already explained to her and then proceeded to tell me her daughters not an idiot, I said to her I know she's not and said then if you don't want me to txt her, I won't, the ex never did reply... So the way I see it, is the ex seen my status not her daughter, because it didn't seem like her daughter had a clue what I was talking about, and since the first txt I had received from her in four months which was 2 days ago, she has been just NASTY to me, I had been NC for those four months and still fine, cause Im still Very happy.... What to make of this? any outside advice besides me being an idiot and replying to anything she had sent me lol Thanks LiL
GrayClouds Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 (edited) I went through a terrible break up that involved 2 children, not mine and my ex cheating on me twice, then always wanting to come back, in which I allowed her to do, she did this four times, til finally she left in Jan/10 again and I had had enough. I recently posted I found someone finally that I am so happy with, which I will never allow that Nighmare in my life again, cuz it seemed she used the kids last time to get back in, as thats my weakness. My question is, is I have made it quite clear on my FB that I am so happy, putting different status up, pics of me and my new GF, I have one slogan up there stating how happy I finally am, and its been up there for a bit. Just recently I received a Txt from my ex telling me to watch what I put on FB as her kids read it, (no swearing/bashing or any Vulgarism, just that I am happy) and was told I've been warned because it upset her kids and if I had anything to say, direct it to her not her kids, all it said was I thought I had been happy for the 4 yrs but know I wasn't because I am now.. We are talking about a mother who left them behind when she left 5 yrs ago, who they are now 13 and 7 and still with there Dad, so I then explained to her daughter in a txt msg that anything I wrote on FB had nothing to do with them and if not for them I wouldn't have stayed around as long as I did. I did get a reply from her daughter telling me how she misses me and things, just seemed upset/unhappy I txt the Ex to let her know that I explained to her daughter and how her daughter seems unhappy, but was told I shouldn't have txt her as she had already explained to her and then proceeded to tell me her daughters not an idiot, I said to her I know she's not and said then if you don't want me to txt her, I won't, the ex never did reply... So the way I see it, is the ex seen my status not her daughter, because it didn't seem like her daughter had a clue what I was talking about, and since the first txt I had received from her in four months which was 2 days ago, she has been just NASTY to me, I had been NC for those four months and still fine, cause Im still Very happy.... What to make of this? any outside advice besides me being an idiot and replying to anything she had sent me lol Thanks LiL I happy your happy,and not to piss on your parade, while I suspect your correct your EX is the one that is upset by your FB, I also suspect that part of your FB post, if you are completely honest, a bit of a dig at your EX. Just as your post stated how happy you are 3 or 4 times, it is as if your trying to convenience yourself as much as the world. It suggests that your really not completely healed form your break-up. There is nothing wrong with that it has only been 4 months. Though it is concerning that your already in a new relationship when you still have residue from the last experience. I hope your not rebounding. Just some things to think about. I do wish you well. Edited May 21, 2010 by GrayClouds
Author LostInLimbo Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 Hi GC , I am actually happy and maybe gloating a bit, but as for a rebound, I don't really see it as that, only because it was something I was use to (her leaving) healing yup, pretty much healed cuz I dealt with alot of BS so I felt maybe thats why it was as easy as it was. Things on my FB, are from my heart, as mentioned in on of my earlier posts when I wasn't in a relationship I had to deal with the fact, the Ex after a month or so had pics of her with some guy, as I was told, I never went looking for it. This is why I feel maybe I am happy......but in all honesty, never ever lied to myself except to think things would work out, is I really am Happy now... Thanks LiL
Ronni_W Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 What to make of this? any outside advice besides me being an idiot and replying to anything she had sent me lol Since you got that (bolded) part covered, I shan't reiterate it The next thing you want to do is realize that you're allowing her to MANIPULATE YOU through the children. After that step, you want to tell yourself that you are NOT going to let that happen again. The next time she tries to pull this crap on you, tell her it won't work. Tell her it is her responsibility to wisely and compassionately deal with her children's "upset feelings", no matter the source. Tell her to go ahead and block her child from viewing your FB page if she, as a wise and compassionate parent, feels that is the best thing for her child. After that. Stop gloating. It is unbecoming and unattractive. Right? I'm glad you're happy, LiL, and wishing you much more of the same
Author LostInLimbo Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 (edited) Hi Ronni Thanks to you and GC you both showed me some light, yup I will stop gloating, really isn't me, just did it because of all she did to me and wanted to show her that I could be happy with someone else and didn't need her in my life.. Before I received any answers, especially to the Yes I am an Idiot part, I did only send out one last text message to her daughter, stating that its best I don't add you to my FB as you had requested and this will be my last msg to you (that hurt telling her that) and has in no way got to do with you, your mom gave me the impression she didn't want me contacting you any more so I need to respect that, as she is your mom, knows whats best for you and don't want to argue with her anymore. but as I said, I did send that out after I rec'd the answers and advice on LS, meanin thats it and just wanted her kids to know that I care for them, but given circumstances I have to let go, so no more txts and back to as I was doing before I rec'd those nasty txts from the EX a few days ago. LiL Edited May 22, 2010 by LostInLimbo
Ronni_W Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 (edited) Hey LiL. I think that is a lovely text you sent her daughter. You got everything "right", IMO: the love, the sadness, and the message that had to be given. You're right that it did have to be given. You do have to let go. For your own sake. It's also in the children's best interest for their grown-ups to not have any opportunities to use them as helpless pawns in the grown-ups' games. For that, too, you do have to let go. I'm sorry. I know you love the kids, and you will miss them. Keep them close in your heart, and always pray them happiness, success and health. They will benefit from that, and hopefully you will find comfort in doing it. Gentle hugs. Edited May 22, 2010 by Ronni_W grammar
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