Haven't gotten over her....why?

[doomage]

Hey people.

 

I'm just wondering how come I still haven't gotten over this girl that I dated for 3 weeks? At first I didn't like her but in a weeks time I grew to like her, and she confessed after a week that she had herpes, and at first I was taken aback by it but none the less i continued dating her and even had sex with her once, but after that one time (I think i had a bad performance lol) she was never the same and lost interest just like that. Then she said when i confronted about why she was acting wierd that she didn't want anything serious.

 

Which was totally wierd cuz i thought she did, and she said we could be friends so i was kind of upset at fist but none the less i was still contacting her as if nothing had ever happened and she ignored me and then finally we talked one day and after a forced conversation she said "well ill call you whenever" but i still kept calling her and texting her and finally after ignoring me for a week she said "can you please stop texting me I'm not interested" and we argued and i called her a coward for not telling me the truth about how she feels, and she didn't even tell me what i did wrong to cause her to lose interest.

 

Even after that i was like well the doors open if you wanna talk and she said" dont you get it i dont ever wanna talk to you" so i said ok and haven't texted her or called her since because i deleted her number but i deleted her myspace from my friend list and a week later tried adding her back but she rejected me of course, and i sent her a message to touch base and she read but ignored it.

 

Now once in a blue mooon i still go on her profile to look at her picture how come i cant just let it go.

 

was it that she was the first attractive girl in a while that gave me attention or did i really like her. i still think of the good times.

 

i feel like sending her another message and trying to befriend her on myspace or soemthing but for what. i already did my part.

 

what you guys think?

[St. Nick]

The woman has herpes. You don't seem to understand how having an STD can affect a person's mind. I know a woman with herpes and she said she just doesn't feel she'll ever be a good woman to a man because her disease shakes her self-esteem. Receiving the disease shook her up about what type of man she should date. She's now extremely particular than she was before. Also, this same woman has confidence issues that manifest themselves in destructive ways so she unconsciously ends up destroying potentially good relationships with the few guys she meets.

 

My guess is your girl has the same problem. Maybe her disease shattered her confidence in men and herself, so she subconsciously sabotages relationships.

 

In any case, you definitely need to move on. Not because of her disease, but because she doesn't want a relationship. If you're already fighting so much now and there's so a big lack of communication, think of what there will be down the line when you two are serious.

[You'reasian]

Hey people.

 

I'm just wondering how come I still haven't gotten over this girl that I dated for 3 weeks? At first I didn't like her but in a weeks time I grew to like her, and she confessed after a week that she had herpes, and at first I was taken aback by it but none the less i continued dating her and even had sex with her once, but after that one time (I think i had a bad performance lol) she was never the same and lost interest just like that. Then she said when i confronted about why she was acting wierd that she didn't want anything serious.

 

Which was totally wierd cuz i thought she did, and she said we could be friends so i was kind of upset at fist but none the less i was still contacting her as if nothing had ever happened and she ignored me and then finally we talked one day and after a forced conversation she said "well ill call you whenever" but i still kept calling her and texting her and finally after ignoring me for a week she said "can you please stop texting me I'm not interested" and we argued and i called her a coward for not telling me the truth about how she feels, and she didn't even tell me what i did wrong to cause her to lose interest.

 

Even after that i was like well the doors open if you wanna talk and she said" dont you get it i dont ever wanna talk to you" so i said ok and haven't texted her or called her since because i deleted her number but i deleted her myspace from my friend list and a week later tried adding her back but she rejected me of course, and i sent her a message to touch base and she read but ignored it.

 

Now once in a blue mooon i still go on her profile to look at her picture how come i cant just let it go.

 

was it that she was the first attractive girl in a while that gave me attention or did i really like her. i still think of the good times.

 

i feel like sending her another message and trying to befriend her on myspace or soemthing but for what. i already did my part.

 

what you guys think?

 

Just let her go. Be friends and appreciate your friendship and date other women. Nothing wrong with looking at someone's facebook page, if you're just like 'oh cool'. Enjoy the girl you're with.

[doomage]

well we dated from like march 21 to early april and the wierd thing is that when we were messing around one time in my car, she said " i think im really starting to like you" and i said "good just enjoy it" and i said " just don't play with me i wont play with you" and in a way i think she is afraid of committing because she told me she was dating a guy before me that she dumped or let go because he was too clingy, which i know is bad to be clingy and i think i was ending up the same way, she said I always wanted to hang with her and she was busy, and i didnt feel like that at all i just like hanging with her but not overbearingly.

 

plus the part that pisses me off the most is that she told me that in her dealings with guys that the guys always use her or dump her, and then i come along the "nice guy" and i think im what she was looking for and she kicks me to the curb for not boning her the right way. she said she had 10 partners so she's more sexually experienced than I. But i was kind of nervous because i didn't want to get get genital herpes from her, so i wanted to finish as fast as i could. lol. i know that sounds bad, but i think that's what messed it up or that i was too affectionette.

 

I still want to have some sort of contact with her though, how come i just cant let it go though i think of her mostly every day.

 

she said when seh first got herps, that her confidence was shattered and she didn't want to go out, but now she says why should she let it hold her down, and she seems confident, always working out and stuff.

[You'reasian]

well we dated from like march 21 to early april and the wierd thing is that when we were messing around one time in my car, she said " i think im really starting to like you" and i said "good just enjoy it" and i said " just don't play with me i wont play with you" and in a way i think she is afraid of committing because she told me she was dating a guy before me that she dumped or let go because he was too clingy, which i know is bad to be clingy and i think i was ending up the same way, she said I always wanted to hang with her and she was busy, and i didnt feel like that at all i just like hanging with her but not overbearingly. .

 

All we know is your side of the story, not hers and what you are presenting as facts. Make a judgment call...

 

- She says she's starting to like you.

- She dumped/let-go the last guy because he was too 'clingy'

 

plus the part that pisses me off the most is that she told me that in her dealings with guys that the guys always use her or dump her, and then i come along the "nice guy" and i think im what she was looking for and she kicks me to the curb for not boning her the right way. she said she had 10 partners so she's more sexually experienced than I. But i was kind of nervous because i didn't want to get get genital herpes from her, so i wanted to finish as fast as i could. lol. i know that sounds bad, but i think that's what messed it up or that i was too affectionette.

 

I still want to have some sort of contact with her though, how come i just cant let it go though i think of her mostly every day.

 

she said when seh first got herps, that her confidence was shattered and she didn't want to go out, but now she says why should she let it hold her down, and she seems confident, always working out and stuff.

 

- You said you didn't want to get the herp from her. Can you confirm this?

 

Might be time to move on but be glad that you are friends.

[St. Nick]

Yeah, she seems confident when she says she won't let her herpes keep her down, but I believe she's lying. It's easy to appear confident, it's difficult to be confident.

 

She might have dumped you because you sucked in bed, or because her herpes shattered her confidence, or because you're a "nice guy". It doesn't matter why she dumped you. She sucks at communication. She can't be honest with you or herself. So what you need to do is forget her. Period. Go get some pussy elsewhere. Fighting constantly at the beginning of a relationship is definitely not a good sign that the relationship will prosper into something fruitful.

[doomage]

to Yourasian: well we aren't friends at all, we don't talk anymore, not that I wouldn't but she won't budge, the first and last time we argued was over text, and seh said i was annoying, which isn't good. But the only reason why i called and texted her even when she wouldn't reply was because i don't like being ignored and if she doesn't have the ovaries to tell me straight up something on her mind, it's not my fault.

I tried to not burn bridges, even mentioned on my read myspace message that we should catch up and touch base one of these days and she didn't even reply.

 

to st. nick, ya i know i should move on to other women, but i try, last weeend i went to a cuban restuarant slash club, that kind of brought bad memories because it was in the area where she lives, i.e. the place we were hanging around when we messed around, which sucked, but i still tried checking for other girls and trying to dnace with some, but it's tough. I'm trying to get better with women and I've had some success but what sucks is i accepted her with her herpes, and i gave her a chance, and i got kicked.

 

should i try sometime in the future to talk to her again or just that's it be done wtih it?

[In-The-Wheat]

Had to comment on your story since it's close to my experience from a few months back..

 

Now my ex girl didn't have herpes, but she had 2 bad relationships before me and her parents are divorced... She also got breast implants while we were dating.

 

Anyway, long story short - we're together for about 5 weeks, everything's perfect, have sex a few times in the last week together. Then she gets cold/distant a few days later. I try to work it out/talk/message her & she continues to be distant and ends up dumping me via text. I also tried to re-friend her on FB after removing her - denied & she ignored my message.

 

Since then I've been no contact for about 6 weeks now. Just gotta let it go man. Girls that have serious problems in their life (distorted self-image, childhood trauma, bad past relationships, STD's etc.) are not worth the heart ache. There's a chance she'll be back, but it sounds like you probably pushed it too far & she's very, very confused - not to mention she has HERPES!! Come on dude.

 

And believe me.. I was the same way you were. Didn't really like this girl at first, then fell hard a few weeks later only to be dumped out of the blue. Move on & forget the drama - there's a better girl for you no matter how hot/funny/whatever she was... I still think a lot about her, but my emotions/feelings for her have almost died out now.

 

Find a better girl w/out an STD.

[doomage]

In the wheat: That situation does sound similar to mines, minus the stds lol. thanks for sharing, but ya i got some lame excuses from her when i brought it up in person she said "well it's not you it's me, after my last relationship i don't want taht again" which is nonsense becaue what they really wana say is "i don't want anything serious with You" but their too scared to say what's on their minds.

 

By the way her last boyfriend was a I think a 3 month long relationship and he called her names, was an alcoholic, and supposedly the last straw was when he cussed her out infront of her parents at a hockey game.

 

I find it cruel how she can just shut me out like that, i mean i see it as why can't we still try to atleast be friends? IDk i have a problem sticking to my word when i say "ill never talk to her again" and then i try messagin her and stuff which makes me look like a pathetic ass.