kdark Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Unless you're an 8/10 or higher you will have 0% of women initiate contact with you. Yes, ZERO. Not even fat women or old women. None. I could go about my business for the rest of my life and if I never initiated contact with women I would never even have a date let alone a relationship for the rest of my life. That makes me feel good about myself because I have women initiate all the time.
OpenGL Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 That makes me feel good about myself because I have women initiate all the time. You should, that means you're very attractive.
kdark Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Unless you're an 8/10 or higher you will have 0% of women initiate contact with you. Yes, ZERO. Not even fat women or old women. None. I could go about my business for the rest of my life and if I never initiated contact with women I would never even have a date let alone a relationship for the rest of my life. That makes me feel good about myself because I have women initiate all the time. According to you, I'm an at least an 8. Woohoo!
Ross PK Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Because it sends the guy the wrong message if you pursue him, it makes him think he can just sit back and let you do all the work. Then you find yourself in a relationship with pansy of a guy who can't make decisions, who doesn't initiate actions, ( sometimes even who relies on your financially) and who is lazy when it comes to romance. What woman wants that? Nature was designed so that women seduce and entice men and men take the initiative to be the aggressors and quite frankly it works best like that. Isn't seducing and enticing a man mean that the woman is taking the initiative?
St. Nick Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 I admit I'm being lazy on my sources, I'm just copying and pasting the first thing that comes up. I can spend 5 minutes and look for reputable sources if you want. Women going for no strings sex actually works worse for men because they not only go for 100% looks. They don't need a man who is stable financially, emotionally, or with any kind of intelligence. They just want a hot dude to ****. Why do you think there are so many single mothers these days and welfare is out of control? I agree with you in some ways. But you can also have a sense of humor if you're not a hot dude. I'm average-looking and I've gotten sex based on my sense of humor. I've actually had some hot chicks turn down sex for hotter men because of my sense of humor. My advice: get a sense of humor and stop worrying.
kdark Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Isn't seducing and enticing a man mean that the woman is taking the initiative? That's the female way of taking the initiative. But I think some guys are looking for the women to initiate in the standard male way. If a girl I see is giving me many signals that she is interested in me at a bar, in my eyes that's her initiating.
Rorschach Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 That's the female way of taking the initiative. But I think some guys are looking for the women to initiate in the standard male way. If a girl I see is giving me many signals that she is interested in me at a bar, in my eyes that's her initiating. I'd agree with this sentiment but I'm pretty inexperienced at picking up on those signals so even if it happened I wouldn't notice
marsle85 Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 It sounds great for women to finally stop being "vaginas" and actually "man up" and initiate sex and intimacy, but they aren't going to do that until guys stop calling the ones that already do do it sluts and whores. Ah ha. And so we have found the problem. What you see is what you get. A woman who doesn't initiate in the beginning of the relationship is not likely to initiate later in the relationship (including sex, advances, etc.) So, the conflict lies in the desire for an "angel" to open up and become a sex kitten later in the relationship. That's not how people work, it's not fair for the man or the woman. Presumably, if we dropped the name-calling of women who DO initiate sex early in the relationship, suddenly men wouldn't be dating a "whore," they'd be dating their kinky dream girl. Believe me, I have tons of pent up sex- but because I want a quality LTR, I have to exercise my angelic restraint to get it.
Ross PK Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 That's the female way of taking the initiative. But I think some guys are looking for the women to initiate in the standard male way. If a girl I see is giving me many signals that she is interested in me at a bar, in my eyes that's her initiating. What are the signals?
Author FoxMulder Posted May 21, 2010 Author Posted May 21, 2010 That's the female way of taking the initiative. But I think some guys are looking for the women to initiate in the standard male way. If a girl I see is giving me many signals that she is interested in me at a bar, in my eyes that's her initiating. I don't see that as taking the initiative, You can't get rejected by just giving out signals. As I see it the one who does the approaching is the one who does the initiating.
electricity Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 I don't see that as taking the initiative, You can't get rejected by just giving out signals. As I see it the one who does the approaching is the one who does the initiating. He doesn't reciprocate when you flirt invitingly = you get rejected. Plus, she's doing a lot of work to look good, flirt, invite him to approach - maybe she's not "approaching," but she's putting in effort.
brainygirl Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 OP -> love the handle! I have gotten tired of waiting and have found myself initiating contact more and more. Men seem put off by it. But then, I don't look like a super model, or a center fold. I look rather normal. I'm short. I tend to be on the round side, and I'm no good at standing around and saying "gee, you are so cool" which is what men seem to want.
mike1988 Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Why don't women ever initiate anything? It's always the man who has to initiate everything and do all the work... Not just in the beggining but all the time. A woman would never ask a guy out, a woman would never initiate contact, a woman would never initiate sex and etc etc. Are men simply more intrested in women than women are in men? Sometimes they do, but it's rare. I don't know why they refuse to do so.
phineas Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 That makes me feel good about myself because I have women initiate all the time. According to you, I'm an at least an 8. Woohoo! Welcome to the club you handsome devil!
kdark Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 What are the signals? Eye contact = EC In a pub, a stranger chick locks EC with you In public environments (everyday places), a stranger chick locks EC with you, keeps looking, smiles Lots of EC from her, or solid EC She has "brightly" eyes looking at you, and "that" interested look She starts playing with her hair (looking at you interested), bite lips or lick lips She shows you her leg while stretching her ankle She touches her breast or necklace. She leans towards you She makes kino on you/reciprocates kino (also known as reverse-kino?) You hold her hand and she squeezes back In a party, she keeps on "appearing" close to you or puts herself in a place where it is obvious you can see her (this is also known as an AI, an Approach Invitation)
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Why don't women ever initiate anything? Uhhhhhhhhhhh, they don't have to
Disillusioned Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 . Are men simply more intrested in women than women are in men? Yes. That's why sex dolls were invented.
jaxie Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Interesting topic. This is just my point of view, and there may be women who think differently, but when I was dating, I was looking exclusively for men who had the confidence to approach me, usually after some kind of initial flirting from afar. I don't know if it is a cultural standard or some kind of primal thing, but I think is really neccessary for a man to make the first move. I don't want a guy who will shrink away from a challenge. Women want protectors and providers (well most I think), and to me the guy needs to prove his courage and ability to do so. I am incredibly attracted to my man, and in the beginning it wasn't his looks that brought me to him, it was his confidence. It is soooo sexy. Later on, as the relationship progresses, it dosen't matter so much. I have never had a problem initiating sex or anything else.
BlankSlate Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I've come to realize that the whole Idea that guys have to initiate interest and etc is complete BS. Girls do too. And girls do. You just have to learn how to read their signals like they need to learn to read yours. If anything work on changing your signals to match what they are looking for. When it comes to the idea that it falls on the guy thats not so much the case... It just falls onto the person male or female who realizes they aren't getting what they want and have to learn how to signal what they want. Both people have to work on it, it's really up to learning to grow up and change what you do wrong to get what you want. Make a fool of yourself on purpose so you have only yourself to blame. If you blame others then you have to change them, if you blame yourself you have to change yourself... it's a lot easier to change yourself than others.
lab_brat Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I've initiated dating once, and don't know if i would again. its horrid. That fear of misinterpreting signals and getting rejected is huge. It was mortifying, we had both been blatantly flirting for weeks, i finally asked if he wanted to go out and get a drink sometime and he flat out rejected me, as nicely as possible, but still, it really stings. It makes you question whether you misread all these signals, whether the attraction was mutual or you're just insane. I dont think i'd do it again. I'm definitely ok with flirting and if i like someone i'll try to signal interest and create opportunities to do stuff (ie 'oh, i really want to go see that movie/show/blah blah but don't want to go on my own....?'), as well as initiating physical contact and sex in relationships (lots and lots of that), but its just too hard on the self-esteem to ask a guy out.
Woggle Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I've initiated dating once, and don't know if i would again. its horrid. That fear of misinterpreting signals and getting rejected is huge. It was mortifying, we had both been blatantly flirting for weeks, i finally asked if he wanted to go out and get a drink sometime and he flat out rejected me, as nicely as possible, but still, it really stings. It makes you question whether you misread all these signals, whether the attraction was mutual or you're just insane. I dont think i'd do it again. I'm definitely ok with flirting and if i like someone i'll try to signal interest and create opportunities to do stuff (ie 'oh, i really want to go see that movie/show/blah blah but don't want to go on my own....?'), as well as initiating physical contact and sex in relationships (lots and lots of that), but its just too hard on the self-esteem to ask a guy out. Now you know what it feels like to be a man.
Author FoxMulder Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 I've initiated dating once, and don't know if i would again. its horrid. That fear of misinterpreting signals and getting rejected is huge. It was mortifying, we had both been blatantly flirting for weeks, i finally asked if he wanted to go out and get a drink sometime and he flat out rejected me, as nicely as possible, but still, it really stings. It makes you question whether you misread all these signals, whether the attraction was mutual or you're just insane. I dont think i'd do it again. I'm definitely ok with flirting and if i like someone i'll try to signal interest and create opportunities to do stuff (ie 'oh, i really want to go see that movie/show/blah blah but don't want to go on my own....?'), as well as initiating physical contact and sex in relationships (lots and lots of that), but its just too hard on the self-esteem to ask a guy out. You think it is any easier for guys? Now you know how alot of guys feel about that thing...
TrueDonJuan Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Some girls do initiate - just not many of them. It largely depends on her interest level and her confidence. At the most basic level, the male of the species tries to court potential female mates. And at the risk of being called old fashioned or sexist, this is generally transferrable to modern day guys and girls. It's in guys genes to make the move - it is in girls genes to select the best suitor.
PersonMan Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Because it sends the guy the wrong message if you pursue him, it makes him think he can just sit back and let you do all the work. Then you find yourself in a relationship with pansy of a guy who can't make decisions, who doesn't initiate actions, ( sometimes even who relies on your financially) and who is lazy when it comes to romance. What woman wants that? Nature was designed so that women seduce and entice men and men take the initiative to be the aggressors and quite frankly it works best like that. This is BS. We are supposed to pursue women instead so THEY can sit back and let us do all the work. Its a one way street and its absolute BS. A ****ing clue once in a while would help. I know guys that are tripping over themselves over a girl and theyre just allowed to sit back and be pursued, because its "nature?" Its a shame evolution takes thousands of years, cause I know alot of guys that would kill for more women pursuing them instead, right now. Even if its just ONE girl.
Recommended Posts