jakinbandw Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 So, after getting tired of being single I decided to move into the city and look for a girlfriend. I moved in with a friend of mine who was gay, and they took me out the first night to a bar. I have never been to a bar before as I don't drink. On the way one of their friends joined us. A girl my age, who DM's thier dnd group. I love dnd, and dming. I found out she likes anime, so do I. So while we were dancing I gave her a hug and told her that she was hot. A few more sweet nothings and she pulled me away to tell me that she just came off a bad breakup and wanted to take things slow. She also mentioned that she had fallen for me faster than for anyone else... Ever. Everyone headed back to our place and we played Brawl until 3 in the morning. I asked her if she would go out with me and she said yes. That was one week ago. Since then we have hung out almost every single day, going to the museum, shopping, a night of dnd, and yesterday we played a little dnd just the two of us, then headed out and spent the day at the park. Everything seems great. However I have never dated before. I have tried looked up dating advice in books and found out that doing 3 dates in a week isn't normal. On top of that I have no idea what Amanda means when she says she wants to go slow. How slow? Slow compared to what? I haven't kissed her on the lips yet, but then again, I haven't tried since the first night. Recently she has started kissing my arm and my chest. Should I try again? I don't know... She told me yesterday that she was bi and that she use to have 3 girls that were her 'playthings'. She said that she hadn't met a girl yet that she wanted to have a serous relationship with. I was a little floored. I have trouble wrapping my mind around the fact of having sex with someone you don't care about (Yes I am a guy. Despite all the rumors there are some of us to whom sex is a not the entire focus of our lives.). This made me question what she meant when she said take it slow. My first thought when I heard that was maybe kiss on the lips in a month or so. Maybe wait for about a year before anything sexual took place. I was fine with that. But now, knowing that about her, I wonder if she meant it quite different. Am I completely off the deep end? One other thing that I am trying to figure out. I have found that if I run my hand down her back while I am hugging her she will start to shiver a little in my arms, but after I do this a few times she will pull away, hanging onto my hand until he is out of arms reach. I asked if it bothered her that I was doing that and she said no. I think she enjoys it, but I don't understand why she is pulling away. Does anyone here have any idea's? I have spent most of my life focusing on not dating. Actively opposing the concept, so all I have to give me knowledge is some anime. Not exactly the most helpful thing in the world. so any advice that you can give? Anything I should watch out for?
ScaredHubby Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 By taking it slow I suspect that she is not ready to commit to a new relationship yet if the breakup was bad. Probably when you're running your hand down her back she does enjoy it, but it's stirring feelings she doesn't feel ready to feel for anyone quite yet. That being said, she obviously likes you to spend the time with you like she is, so.. Odds are if you lean in to try and give her a kiss on the lips, she'll let you know whether it's ok or not. I don't think she's going to slap you and say she never wants to see you again! Just don't push things - make sure you respect her reactions to you and if she seems uncomfortable, back off to where she was comfortable. If you back off to what was a previously comfortable point and she doesn't push you away, you're likely doing just fine.
skydiveaddict Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Yes I agree with scaredhubby Move foward my friend!
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