loverboi Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Ok, so me and my girl were together for the past 2 years or so. Things were very good in the beginning we were so crazy about each other, we were inseparable, but slowly things started to change, like in every other relationships i guess. About 6 months into our relationship i started playing a game called "dota" which is one of the most addictive games, similar to world of warcraft if you know what i mean, i slowly started giving my attention to this game then to my girl, i was so occupied with it that i could go on couple of days without talking to her, which was very rare since we always used to talk about 3-4 hours everyday before i started playing. She slowly started to feel as if she was loosing me, and because i wasn't giving her any time she was slowly started loosing interest in me. But despite that she was always with me and was willing to tolerate me playing games and ignoring her, as she was so madly in love with me. But i didnt care, i was always busy playing and i took her for granted at that time. She even made an account in the server that i played in, just to talk to me or have a chat with me, since i would get so lost when i would start playing. She would tell me when we talked, that she is slowly loosing interest in me, and eventually one day would come when she would have no feelings for me and she would leave me, but i thought she was just joking and i was so sure about her feelings towards me i thought she would never leave me. After nearly one year of all this, about 2 weeks back she finally said that she wants to break up with me, and ended our relationship, i thought she was just joking since she used to say "its over" whenever she was angry with me, so a couple of days later i realized that she really was over with me, i realized how big of a jerk i was back then and i tried to change, like deleting the game i was so occupied with, and now i dont even feel like playing it because it ruined my relationship, the one girl i thought was the one. But even though i changed, she was willing to, she has finally made up her mind and she doesnt want us to be back together. She has blocked me in facebook, her mobile, msn, every possible way to avoid any contacts with me. But even after this i could still send messages, which i did because i couldnt control myself, i know she will get angry if i try to contact her but i just cant control myself. Since i finally have realized how much she means to my life (though it was a bit too late). She just talks about all the bad things she had during our relationship, but the thing is that we also had our good times, whenever we would meet or go out, we'd have the best time, even when i was into gaming, things would always change when we would meet. So anyways, i went to her place yesterday with a hand made card (since she likes those), chocolates, flowers. She was out that time so i waited for her until she came back to her house, she just took the cards and she said dont try to buy me with chocolates and flowers... Then she sent me a text saying it wouldnt change her mind. Then later in the evening she called me up, just because she wanted to end it our relationship in a good way. We talked properly, and about all the normal stuffs, she said she would think about her decision again but she did say that she would most like NOT change her decision. So i get a call today and i find out that she wont change her mind and that she wants to call it quits. I havent tried calling her, and im trying my best not to contact her in any possible way. Because i think that way she would know how much i really meant to her? Or is it too late? I have changed and i just want her back in my life, i was just very stupid and a big jerk, i know that, but all im asking for is a second chance.
wingman2 Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Don't try pleading with her, it'll only drive her further away. Anything u say won't change a thing trust me, this is because she's already detached from u by the looks of it. Best thing u can do right now is write her a hand written letter acknowledging the break up and her decision. Also apologize for your behavior and the way u treated her. Don't just say sorry though. Make it deep, say something to the likes of "I feel awful for the way I've neglected you and how I've allowed my habits to get in the way of what's most important to me even to the point that it destroyed my relationship with the one I love most. I feel like a fool and it must have been painful for you to see how I was putting other things before you and not spending enough time with u when we should have. I understand no card, flowers, or anything I can do for you can make up for the pain I've placed upon u by not being there when I should have. Although I may have had an addiction nothing is ever an excuse to not spend more time with you. If being apart from me is what you desire I respect your wishes for I don't even feel worthy to be with you right now. Wish you all the best. Love (your name) Don't write that word for word, this is just an example letter, use your own words. Just whatever you do don't say you'll always love her and be there for her cause then she'll take u for granted. I know this may be hard but it's the best approach u can make if u want any chance of her coming back. After giving her the letter (remember hand written) go into full NC meaning no text, no calls, emails, going to her door, etc. Work on urself and make changes to improve urself. She'll pick up on this but member do I for u not her. In my case my ex contacted me after 3 and a half weeks of NC saying "I know we said we wouldn't talk to eachother but some things have been bugging me so much and I've been wondering if you've been thinking of me as much as I've been thinking of u" Don't count on her coming around saying something like that cause every situation is different. That's just an example that NC really can make your ex miss u. Just focus on u, build ur confidence and clear ur mind, she'll pop up eventually but it could be a long time, it all depends on the situation of the break up. Just for now write that letter, then work on you. Good luck and take care.
BiAxident Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Ok, so me and my girl were together for the past 2 years or so. Things were very good in the beginning we were so crazy about each other, we were inseparable, but slowly things started to change, like in every other relationships i guess. About 6 months into our relationship i started playing a game called "dota" which is one of the most addictive games, similar to world of warcraft if you know what i mean, i slowly started giving my attention to this game then to my girl, i was so occupied with it that i could go on couple of days without talking to her, which was very rare since we always used to talk about 3-4 hours everyday before i started playing. Before you contact her again, I think you should attempt some serious soul-searching about what it is that you want and what makes you happy. I've been where you are, though not for the same reasons, and it sucked. However, where free time is concerned, it took me about 2 months of being single before I started to really enjoy being in charge of all of my time. Can you imagine getting back together with her, only to be stuck on the couch watching "American Idol" and wishing that you could play that game/watch what you want/go out with the guys/etc/etc/etc? If she was so great in the first place, why did you neglect her? What will stop you from doing it again? Perspective? Perhaps. In my case, my XGF is interested in giving our relationship another try, which is what brought me back to LoveShack. I'm proceeding with caution, though, because I'm not sure if trying again is the right idea. I am an only child, perhaps I'm just too greedy with my time. I hated have a curfew, and I didn't fully enjoy "my" activities when I was dating, because I often felt guilty for NOT being with my XGF. Just some things to consider...
Author loverboi Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 I am trying my best not to call her up, so that she can hopefully realize how much i meant to her. But your right every situation is different so i don't know if it will really work out, ill just have to stay optimistic i guess. Being the only child myself, i was always preoccupied in my own life i guess, which was why i neglected my xgf, you know you don't realize what you have until you loose it, well i guess that is what happened to me.
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