rewe4reel Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 This is real easy: Tell "fatso" to lay off the Twinkies and hit the treadmill, or he's history.
Pink Cupcakes Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 I recently lost 10 pounds through working out and watching what I ate. I was not over weight before, in the normal BMI range. Now my confidence has risen in my body and I find myself flirting with men who wouldn't normally "do it for me" and having naughty thoughts about these men. In other words, my sex drive has driven tremendously, even from losing that "last 10 pounds" and being a size slimmer and more tone. My point is that he has probably lost a lot of confidence, also, which is appealing in a partner and part of your initial attraction for him. He is basically a different person. So if he doesn't take serious action soon, I would say you have valid reasons to break up with him. You staying with him as it is is probably just the fear of breaking up. I mean breaking up is hard regardless, and you are still attached, but it doesn't sound like you are in love anymore.
Green Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Don't feel guilty about this. There isn't much you can do other then talk to him about it. DON'T MENTION THE WEIGHT GAIN.... Just say stuff like "Its hard on me because you don't eat healthy anymore or work out like you used to" .... If he tries to get defensive just say thats not what its about ... because realisticly the belly is just reminding you of how he doesn't care anymore ... thats the real issue... he doesn't care enough about himself to take care
FitChick Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 DON'T MENTION THE WEIGHT GAIN.... Just say stuff like "Its hard on me because you don't eat healthy anymore or work out like you used to" I might couch it in terms of stress: "I can tell you are so stressed at work because you are using food to self-medicate and aren't blowing off steam by working out, which would really lift your spirits. I worry that you are a heart attack waiting to happen if you don't have some sort of release for all your stress" and so on.
kassy Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Another option is to find something that he would like to do... maybe an active holiday he would need to get fitter for or run a marathon together or something. Obviously sit down and chose something together which you would both be interested in, whatever it is. If you get him out of the rut he might just turn the corner all by himself. Lots of people work 12 hour days and still fit in exercise, the hardest is the first couple of weeks when you are tired the whole time, then it gets better. I'd suggest encouraging working out in the morning before work as then it is done and dusted for the day. And you feel good all day rather than having a workout hanging over you
Enema Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I don't believe in coddling partners when they put on weight, hints; workout invitations, sneaky diet changes, veiled suggestions etc... nup, not me. I would come straight out and say, "I've noticed you've put on a lot of weight and it's unattractive to me, can you please work on it?" No time for games or half assed approaches, he's either going to work on it or you can move on. (don't tell him the move on bit, make it an internal resolution if he doesn't do it for himself.) Life is short!
kimbop Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 You can do what my mom did with my dad. She just served him smaller portions, physically nagged him to go jogging with her, took control of his diet, and made him go to a gym when she went off to yoga. Well he couldn't boil water to save his life to make instant ramen, so his helplessness is a huge factor. And he was a martial arts master when he was younger - yes we're Asian. If I was you, I would just tell him that he's getting too fat for you to be physically attracted to him like you use to be. Honesty is the best medicine. You need to open the lines of communication or it can hurt your relationship. Yeah yeah. People will say "you became attracted to his personality not his body." Um sorry. Pregnancy aside, from my experience, when one member of a couple let themselves go while the other is ardent about his/her health/fitness regime, it usually spells trouble in "most" relationships.
gypsy_nicky Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 5'10 180 is fat unless he was muscular. If you want to keep him, remind him of his weight issue and that he has let himself go. Just reminding someone will be enough push to let them do something, but not to extreme as to seem demanding/controlling. Dont let him go on a diet!! Big mistake... Food is very hard to restrict. Just remind him not to go overboard on calories. Junk food is fine under caloric restriction. Btw I envy your weight 5'9 at 115lbs, good job!! I myself am trying to get down to 120lbs.
tman666 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 34 is pretty fat. I'm 5'7 and a 32 is very loose on me, I have 5'10 friends that wear a 32 or 30. If you were 180 @ 5'8 with a 6 pack you were on juice. Jesus H. Gonzalez. 180 at 5'8 and suddenly someone is juicing? That's rich. I love how you said in some other thread that you can bench 245. Even if that were true (which at 140, I have my doubts. You're going to have to back that whopper up with a video buddy), what kind of a**hat brings up his bench press like that somehow matters to anyone? If you're a powerlifter (which you aren't and will never be), it matters. However, you'd also post your DL and Squat numbers for a total. Nobody gives a runny sh*t about your fake-a** bench man. You're also planning on spending 10 grand on height surgery? AT 5'7??? Getting taller isn't going to fix your stupid a**. I know it's kind of a low blow to bring other threads into this, but people need to know how pathetic you are before they decide to listen to your monkey sh*t.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I don't believe in coddling partners when they put on weight, hints; workout invitations, sneaky diet changes, veiled suggestions etc... nup, not me. I would come straight out and say, "I've noticed you've put on a lot of weight and it's unattractive to me, can you please work on it?" No time for games or half assed approaches, he's either going to work on it or you can move on. (don't tell him the move on bit, make it an internal resolution if he doesn't do it for himself.) Life is short! I agree. Come right out with it. You don't have to be mean about it. But do be direct and honest. The good thing is that men are usually less sensitive and appreciate the very direct approach more.
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