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18 young and hopefull and terrified 1 year relationship

Kymberly

By Kymberly
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Kymberly New Member

Kymberly

Posted
Posted

This is my first "thread" and I dont really know what to say please bare with me :confused:

 

My boyfriend of a year wants me to move in.. My WHOLE life I swore I wouldnt move in with a guy but the guy move in with me. I have no money, no job; just school (about to graduate high school), So I wouldnt be able to get a apartment of my own but his family is well off and says I can live with him and his family.

 

Not only am I scared to move in but our relationship has been heading down hill. Like things are starting to bug him which usually wouldnt. I cant describe it really. He used to be so pacient with me.... He isnt in school nor has a job. I dont see him MUCH so it couldnt be that the more time we spend with each other the more we bug each other..

 

I of course am at fault here because I havnt been the best girlfriend like I used to be. I used to clean and cook and just be on top of everything for him but now... I think I am getting too comfortable or SOMETHING I dont feel the urge to help him out when he needs *wink wink* I used to do the things he wants in a snap but now.. he has to beg me for it. I have tried being the same as I used to be and it feels like I cant!!!

 

Has anyone felt this way? Is it normal to become too comfortable? Please help something that will just make me wake up and become superrr girlfriend again!!!

Heathy Member

Heathy

Posted
Posted

I don't think you should move in with him. I was in a similar situation. My bf of a year wanted me to move in with him and his parents. And I was going to the minute I turned 18. Well a few more months go by and he gets less and less patient with me and I started to do things just to make him mad because I though it was funny. I swore I was in love with him and I still think I was now. But I fell out of love and I am so glad that the relationship ended 1 month before my 18th birthday. I am much happier and in a better place now.

 

I think you should wait until moving in. And I don't think it's fair to make yourself his parent's responsibility even if they say it's okay. Do you have any reason to leave your parent's house? What will happen if once you move in you decide your not happy with him? Is it worth it. And a year might seem like a long time to you but it really isn't. I know some people get married after a few months and stay happily married. But what's the harm in waiting a little while longer until making this big step of moving in.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

Get an apartment with some girlfriends/roommates. Be young and date other people. There is no reason to stay in a relationship at 18 if it is already feeling like "work".

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

Posted
Posted

Darlin', your original post gives not ONE reason that you would be making a good decision to move in with this boyfriend, and it does give several reasons that it would be a bad one. And, you would be completely dependent upon his family. This isn't a good way to launch your adult life!

BlackLovely Established Member

BlackLovely

Posted
Posted

Please don't.

I would also recommend that you ask yourself why you feel the need to cater to all of his wishes. He isn't your husband.

I could have been married at 18, I'm so glad I didn't. He was very dim witted and emotionally abusive. I had enough sense even ten years ago to see that we wouldn't have stayed married.

I hate to see young women in their late teens or early twenties getting married or even cohabiting. You have all the time in the world to be tied down and answer to a man. Enjoy your freedom and your youth before you settle down lovey.

sally4sara Established Member

sally4sara

Posted
Posted
This is my first "thread" and I dont really know what to say please bare with me :confused:

 

My boyfriend of a year wants me to move in.. My WHOLE life I swore I wouldnt move in with a guy but the guy move in with me. I have no money, no job; just school (about to graduate high school), So I wouldnt be able to get a apartment of my own but his family is well off and says I can live with him and his family.

 

Not only am I scared to move in but our relationship has been heading down hill. Like things are starting to bug him which usually wouldnt. I cant describe it really. He used to be so pacient with me.... He isnt in school nor has a job. I dont see him MUCH so it couldnt be that the more time we spend with each other the more we bug each other..

 

I of course am at fault here because I havnt been the best girlfriend like I used to be. I used to clean and cook and just be on top of everything for him but now... I think I am getting too comfortable or SOMETHING I dont feel the urge to help him out when he needs *wink wink* I used to do the things he wants in a snap but now.. he has to beg me for it. I have tried being the same as I used to be and it feels like I cant!!!

 

Has anyone felt this way? Is it normal to become too comfortable? Please help something that will just make me wake up and become superrr girlfriend again!!!

 

Honey, you're barely taking care of everything for yourself yet! He should be able to do these things too. Its not like he has a job leaving him with no time or energy to contribute. And if you're not yet living there - WHY ON EARTH are you his maid?

Take care of you and you will be able to find and feel deserving of a better quality guy.

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted (edited)
Get an apartment with some girlfriends/roommates. Be young and date other people. There is no reason to stay in a relationship at 18 if it is already feeling like "work".

 

I totally agree. Have fun. You're only young once so enjoy it. The misery will come soon enough! :p

 

Why settle for a loser when you could have someone so much better? You're probably the best he could ever get so he wants to hang onto you. Too bad. Live your own best life.

Edited by FitChick
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