Author SadKitty78 Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 Male exes contact their female exes for one reason and one reason only: sex. Well no he did say that he thought about it and felt that he made a huge mistake in not trying to work things out as much as we should have. He mentioned that he talked to his mom alot about it and she encouraged him to come around and bring it up to me so at least he wouldn't regret not asking for another chance. I said, "You mean friends with benefits? Because I don't do that." And he said, "No, I want to give the relationship another go. Can you please seriously consider it?"
Author SadKitty78 Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 sit on this one kitty. ...like for 2-3 weeks. ...tell him that also. ..if he wants you back, he can wait at least that much longer. if you go back to him, make him work for it. if you really dont want him back, then keep up the good work. this is an ego boost for you and as long as you keep the control, you will be happier about the whole situation. . **** it, date around now while your at it. ...learn to enjoy the company of other men. loose you mind!!!! and no matter what desicion you make, keep up the self love you have found. no one can take that away ever as long as you hold yourself close! :cool:im glad to hear you are doing well! Honestly, right before he asked me to consider getting back with him, I actually had arranged 2 dates for next week! lol And I was actually somewhat excited to go on them - not necessarily thinking any of the guys were the one, but just excited! A part of me feels so free and so in my skin again that I honestly don't even think I want to, so I did tell him I would need time to think about it!
ADF Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 Well no he did say that he thought about it and felt that he made a huge mistake in not trying to work things out as much as we should have. He mentioned that he talked to his mom alot about it and she encouraged him to come around and bring it up to me so at least he wouldn't regret not asking for another chance. I said, "You mean friends with benefits? Because I don't do that." And he said, "No, I want to give the relationship another go. Can you please seriously consider it?" Okay. Maybe in this case, it isn't as crass as just fishing for sex. Maybe he wants to rekindle something between you. That pretty much makes what to do next up to you.
Author SadKitty78 Posted June 10, 2010 Author Posted June 10, 2010 Wow! Life is interesting is all I have to say! Up until recently, I was wanting nothing more than the ex to contact me telling me he wanted to get back together! Then one day he did! He said he wanted nothing more than to get back with me. We went on several dates and all the old memories came rushing back. I told him I needed some time (2-3 weeks) to think about it - (thanks for the suggestion monkeymaid!) During that time I lined up 3 dates in a week! I went on the first and wanted to throw up (ok the guy wasn't so bad just that I was really missing my ex!), the 2nd one was alright, but I ended up texting my ex, the 3rd one was alright as well, but the guy was younger so I literally had my guard UP TO HERE and was somewhat standoffish and nonchalant with him. Anyhow, on a whim, I decided to accept date #3's request for a second date and surprisingly, I had a GREAT time! He appeared to be everything that the ex wasn't - easy to talk to, open minded, funny, easy going.... Anyhow, still I didn't think much. The day after, I had dinner with the ex and I found myself wanting to get on the phone and talk to the new guy I had gone on two dates with! I have no clue what is happening! AM I CONFUSED? I am thinking that whether the new guy is long term material or not, or whether it would even lead to anything, that there is some excitement there, and for some reason he is making me WANT TO LOOK FORWARD INSTEAD OF LOOKING BACK! I have about a week and a half left to come up with my decision as to whether to give the relationship with the ex another go or to move on. I don't know! Part of me is scared of the future without the ex and that I should really seize this opportunity to make it work again, but a part of me feels like our efforts (mostly mine) have been exhausted and life is looking clear and good for once in a long while and I sorta want to see what the future holds with someone else............. Thoughts? Is new boy a rebound? If so, does it make sense that I would want to rebound with someone else when I could easily start a "new" relationship with my ex?
GrayClouds Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Thoughts? Is new boy a rebound? If so, does it make sense that I would want to rebound with someone else when I could easily start a "new" relationship with my ex? I am glad to hear your doing better. Though I do think you need to slow down and breath. Your kind of all over the place and it is not the best place about making decisions involving other people. It is obvious your not over your ex but you daring other people. That is not fair to them, how would you feel about some you care about taking you out while pining for their EX? Would you want people to be comparing you to their Ex or trying to get to know who you are? Maybe you should spend a little more time to try to understand what when wrong with the previous relationship, what behaviors you did that contributed to its demise and find new ways to keep from repeating patterns. Yes that is not as fun as having 4 guy chasing you but you gone through a good deal of pain, it be a shame not to get all you can get out of it. Simple distracting yourself with drama is not the way to go about it. .
monkeymaid Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 im with clouds here kitty, he walked me through the hardest pats of my breakup. he has wisdom on his side that being said, i think you are going to do whatever you want to, and go with what feels good at the time. ...from all of your posts, you can see thaet you have kept in contact with your ex through all of you ups and downs. nothing is going to change anything about your past relationship except you and him. if its somehting about him you dont like or couldnt stand, its still there. ....if he has come to the conclusion on a whim (a months is a whim) that he wants to make it work, i can say with 99% certainty that he has not changed and is acting out of fear. it finally hit him that you are not going to be there for him, and he is scared. i say let him feel the fear for a bit longer. ...make him wait 2 more weeks. he made you go through hell for over 7. let me ask you this kitty. ...what do you think is the right thing to do and why? what makes it right? ... my ex texted me today asking if we could be friends yet. ..i dont understand people sometimes. my reply was " i dumped you becasue i dont respect you and i cant trust you. Y would i want a friend like that? side note ....you are disrespecting your new bf just by reaching out to me in any way.good luck with that!!"
Author SadKitty78 Posted June 11, 2010 Author Posted June 11, 2010 Thank you for your perspective Clouds and monkeymaid! I did let the new guy know that I'm still dealing with things from my former relationship and he thanked me for telling him and said he'd like to continue to hang out, but to take it slow if I'd like and to see where it might go. I honestly feel that I don't want to get back with the ex and that nothing is going to change. It's one thing if it's years down the line, and even then, but 7 weeks is barely anything! I don't want to keep "beating a dead horse" and I really don't think it's the right thing to do deep inside. I also know my ex is reaching out to me because he is scared that maybe this was the best he would ever have, instead of wanting to get back with me for the right reasons. With that said, I don't want this new guy to be a rebound. I just honestly felt it was time to move on from the past relationship (I have friends who were broken up 2 days and were already dating - I guess everyone deals with it differently) and at 7 weeks, I honestly thought I was well enough to get back into the dating world. And I had no expectations, but surprisingly I've really enjoyed the new guy's company. I'm glad I was honest and upfront with him and I think it's probably time to sever ALL ties with the ex and focus on the future whether it's to see where things go with this new guy or just on my own if things don't work out. Great reply to the ex by the way!!!! I'm glad you told her how you felt!
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