feeling sad when I should be proud of my accomplishments...

[extraordinarymachine]

I'm on a break w/my partner. Don't really wanna talk about that part except to say it is for legitimate reasons (no third or fourth parties, no bull**** about being confused over feelings--we love one another very much), just genuine life circumstances that we are not sure if we can overcome yet and mutually decided will take some time to properly consider. I can't yet predict whether or not it will lead to a breakup but I am prepared if that happens. I know how to move on, have done it very successfully before, and will if/when I know it is the best course. Right now it's just hard because I am in limbo and know I have to hang tough for at least a little while because some issues can't be solved overnight.

 

I'm just feeling sad and lonely given the last NC week.

 

Furthermore, I am about to hit an important milestone in my life this weekend that is usually cause for celebration (college graduation) but I feel down. I also don't know if my partner is going to be there or not (I didn't think to ask when we initiated this time apart a week ago, unfortunately) but I think I probably shouldn't break NC to find out, since it has the potential to cause tension over mismatched expectations. Due to our specific circumstances, I've suggested he contact me first when he is ready so I am hesitant to go back on that despite his insistence that I can call if I need anything. Plus I think I'm just creating an excuse to call because he surely knows when and where it is, and if he wants to make his way there, nothing is stopping him from doing so. And then there's the obvious fact that calling too soon or when I'm feeling this vulnerable about his response could end up just being more upsetting if it goes poorly than if I simply soldiered on through this time and concentrated on myself.

 

It's just hard. Any and all sage words of comfort/wisdom/advice or encouragement would be appreciated.