Messed up trying to win her back. Should I give up? Child involved

[cafe267]

small background on her: My Ex-gf (27 yrs. old) who is also the mother of our 1.5 year old daughter is an incredibly emotionally volatile person. She's also the most jealous insecure woman I've known, damaged goods, but I definitely love her. She grew up in a broken household with an emotionally abusive step-father who just recently left her mother (ie past month, upon my ex moving back home w/our daughter)

 

We met 2 years ago..she got pregnant really fast...decided to have kid w/me resisting some...relationship got rocky, we stopped communicating well...i reached out to my ex and was caught many times keeping in touch w/her and having an emotional relationship. Basically our trust has been undermined completely w/a climax of our issues in December last year. She said she wanted a 2nd chance for us if I changed and a new start. I agreed and have committed to being a good person and being honest and have been completely.

 

I left her at her mom's place w/our daughter for a month while I sorted out our new life for us in another state as she requested. While away she discovered some petty things I posted online just venting...2 years ago...questioning us and if i should marry her given her emotional state. Nothing new mind you...

 

Well she gave up...I flew back after being away 5 weeks to a woman that hates me now. (we only texted maybe 15x in that 5 weeks, no calls) She was nice enough the 1st week letting me see the kid but as the week wore on she started treating me more and more poorly...speaking to me like a child etc. like she always has. I brushed it off well enough for a few days... Things culminated at 7am on friday morning 6 days ago now, when i showed up early to let her sleep in, her giving me grief over something completely pointless...me arguing a little, her going back to bed for me to watch our child...and me doing this stupid thing...

 

I fired off a text to my friend saying "hate this biotch" but accidentally sent it to her. She immediately stormed out...threw me out...I waited 4 days asked if I could spend time w/our daughter and was told via text to go take it up in court if I wanted to see her, that she did not trust my intentions etc. That was 3 days ago now...I know my EX has strong beliefs about fathers being in their daughters lives given her background. Its one of the few things I know she believes in...her questioning me as a father is also something she has never done aside from when she spends time w/her mother, who she now lives with, and who loves raising kids and has always been a thorn in my side intruding on our lives w/our daughter.

 

Question is what is the next move...I haven't even shared my plans for us that I had lined up while I was away those 5 weeks but I feel at this point they will fall on deaf ears. At this point she isn't even trying to see the positive decisions I have been making for the past 6 months which I know is about all you can do when trust is lost, to be reliable, and consistent.

 

I have contemplated writing her an email for now, simply saying I have no wish to fight her in court, and that I know she is not herself right now. That taking the father from our daughters life is nothing she would ever wish upon a young girl and that I know I have hurt her so deeply for her to react this way. As it stands her mom is now raising our girl as my Ex just got a job working 6 days a week. Works great for the mom but now our girl doesn't have her father and barely has her mother in her life...I'm wondering if can write her, asking her to try, after the anger has subsided, to see my choices for what they have been. To also see that me, her, and our daughter don't benefit in any way as things stand. I'm in a position now w/a new job to support all of us and have her raise our daughter which I know is her first priority in life. I just think sharing all of that now is not the right thing to do when she is so closed off.

 

Is there anything I can do at this point...to get her to see things for what they are, to remember her core beliefs, and to remember b4 I left town and she spent all this time w/her pessimistic, yet very sly and passive mother (who has been left by 2 men now), that she really wanted to try and give things a 2nd chance. I should add she and her mom have never had a great relationship but she is very much relying on her now as she has nobody else to rely on