BiAxident Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 So, I am becoming increasingly involved with my XGF, to the point that I imagine most would classify our relationship as "dating" (we've been spending the weekends together for the past 5-6 weeks). We get along great and have many things in common. However, as great as this person is, she has a lot of health issues: depression, ADHD, severe allergies to certain types of food (anything with salicylates, severe allergies to certain kinds of medicine, sleep disorder, and the inability to eat virtually anything without smoking marijuana. When she does eat, it is typically fast food or anything that comes in a box (ie - processed food). On my side of things, I experienced the sudden loss of my mother to a heart attack several years back. When we were dating, this was a major cause of concern and discontent for me in the relationship. Her doctors have told her that they are stumped; outside of sending her to the Mayo clinic, they have no advice to offer. Thus, I am very confused/concerned about what to do going forward. It is bad enough to try and change something about your partner in a relationship, but these are things that are beyond her ability to control. I know its overly analytical and pessimistic, but I truely fear falling in love again with this woman, getting married/having kids, then losing her and being alone and a single parent. Can anyone identify with any of this?
GrayClouds Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 So, I am becoming increasingly involved with my XGF, to the point that I imagine most would classify our relationship as "dating" (we've been spending the weekends together for the past 5-6 weeks). We get along great and have many things in common. However, as great as this person is, she has a lot of health issues: depression, ADHD, severe allergies to certain types of food (anything with salicylates, severe allergies to certain kinds of medicine, sleep disorder, and the inability to eat virtually anything without smoking marijuana. When she does eat, it is typically fast food or anything that comes in a box (ie - processed food). On my side of things, I experienced the sudden loss of my mother to a heart attack several years back. When we were dating, this was a major cause of concern and discontent for me in the relationship. Her doctors have told her that they are stumped; outside of sending her to the Mayo clinic, they have no advice to offer. Thus, I am very confused/concerned about what to do going forward. It is bad enough to try and change something about your partner in a relationship, but these are things that are beyond her ability to control. I know its overly analytical and pessimistic, but I truely fear falling in love again with this woman, getting married/having kids, then losing her and being alone and a single parent. Can anyone identify with any of this? Do not let your choices be made by your fears, that said there is things to look at logically about the relationship. She does not appear to be someone who is working hard to help herself. You stated food of choice is fast food when she has all these issues, and the use of marijuana, a depressant when she already fighting depression. How does these issues effect the relationship, does it burden it for if it does too much it will be diffiuclt able to maintain it over the long haul, no matter how strong and loving someone with a high degree of unhealthiness, specially if they are not working hard at taking care of themselves, is very difficult for the other person.
FitChick Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 If she cleaned up her diet and ate whole foods instead of fake foods I bet her problems would "magically" resolve. Most health problems are related to poor lifestyle.
Author BiAxident Posted May 20, 2010 Author Posted May 20, 2010 Do not let your choices be made by your fears, that said there is things to look at logically about the relationship. She does not appear to be someone who is working hard to help herself. You stated food of choice is fast food when she has all these issues, and the use of marijuana, a depressant when she already fighting depression. How does these issues effect the relationship, does it burden it for if it does too much it will be diffiuclt able to maintain it over the long haul, no matter how strong and loving someone with a high degree of unhealthiness, specially if they are not working hard at taking care of themselves, is very difficult for the other person. It was rather difficult for me from time to time, especially when out in public with friends and her being unable to eat if she couldn't smoke. She has the approval of several doctors regarding the marijuana, as they simply dont have any idea what else to tell her. It was a subject I never really brought up when we were dating, as I don't care much for conflict and I didn't see what she could do about it anyway. But if we're going to get back together, it will certainly need to be addressed. Just not sure what to say when she doesnt know what the problem is and her doctors dont know what the problem is. I guess I dont know how much of my concern is paranoia, and how much of it is legitimate.
Author BiAxident Posted May 20, 2010 Author Posted May 20, 2010 If she cleaned up her diet and ate whole foods instead of fake foods I bet her problems would "magically" resolve. Most health problems are related to poor lifestyle. That is the problem, being allergic to salicylates curtails or outright eliminates foods such as apples, blueberries, grapes, strawberries, cherries, broccoli, spinach, tomato sauce, etc. Overdoing it on salicylates can lead to anaphylaxis, which can cause a fatal drop in blood pressure. Add to that the foods that she has seperate allergies to (shellfish, whole grains) and that pretty much leaves... I'm not sure what it leaves!!
Recommended Posts