Rorschach Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 no edit button Oh and I should mention, I am often unhappy and unconfidant in myself, I just recognize the problem for what it is and chose to do something about it rather than whine about how unfair the world is like some of the other users on this forum.
Peaceful Guy Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Becuase women look at being nice and respectful as being a boring loser.Because women look at being a jerk and demanding sex within a week as having a positive attitude. yeah half the worlds population! cmon js90.. women are just like men with boobs.. and no penisis.. and a vagina where the penis would be if she were a man.. and some other stuff too.. but really.. there just people! strange, boob and vagina having people.. ewwwww..
Mimolicious Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Yaaaay! Let's kick unconfident unhappy people when they're down. You all feel better? It's hard to believe you guys are supposed to be adults, you come across more like you're in high school. Unconfident and unhappy people can get help and better themselves. Not doing so is what makes it HS.
Rorschach Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Unconfident and unhappy people can get help and better themselves. Not doing so is what makes it HS. I agree, refusing to recognize and react to your true problems and instead crap and moan about imaginary problems on the internet is the true immature act here. This thread is simply a reaction to that.
sweetjasmine Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 As a woman, it gets extremely old being told that every one of us ONLY wants a jerk as a partner and that we enjoy being treated like a piece of meat. Yeah, no kidding. "You guys just want to be treated like complete trash!" Uh, no, buddy. Not all of us have serious psychological issues. Who the heck do you hang out with?
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I agree, refusing to recognize and react to your true problems and instead crap and moan about imaginary problems on the internet is the true immature act here. This thread is simply a reaction to that. They think the problems they're talking about are the true problems and it's those which are making them feel bad. In some cases it'll be true and in others it wont.
Rorschach Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 They think the problems they're talking about are the true problems and it's those which are making them feel bad. In some cases it'll be true and in others it wont. It's never true, ever, 100% never true. The fault will always come back to point at their own personality and/or life choices. It's a scary thought that you have nobody to blame but yourself, so most would rather make excuses as to why it's out of their control. Maybe its their height, or their hair color, or their ears, or whatever it is they claim they CLING to it. It gives them some reason why it's not their fault when the truth is it IS their fault and the faster they realize that the better. Once you accept that it's your own damn fault then you can take the appropriate action to change course and take control of your own life. Until then they will always be whiny immature boys who would rather blame society than accept the truth.
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Unconfident and unhappy people can get help and better themselves. Not doing so is what makes it HS. Sorry, kicking vunerable people when they're down is mainly the kind of thing that kids do high school. You can try and twist things around as much as you like but you wont change that.
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 It's never true, ever, 100% never true. The fault will always come back to point at their own personality and/or life choices. It's a scary thought that you have nobody to blame but yourself, so most would rather make excuses as to why it's out of their control. Maybe its their height, or their hair color, or their ears, or whatever it is they claim they CLING to it. It gives them some reason why it's not their fault when the truth is it IS their fault and the faster they realize that the better. Once you accept that it's your own damn fault then you can take the appropriate action to change course and take control of your own life. Until then they will always be whiny immature boys who would rather blame society than accept the truth. Even if it's never true. I'm sure some of them 100% believe it's true, as I know I did/do.
Rorschach Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Even if it's never true. I'm sure some of them 100% believe it's true, as I know I did/do. But thats the point, until they stop believing its true then their lives will never improve. We (the community collectively) have tried very nicely to inform some of these people that they should stop looking without for reasons and start looking within. Pick any one of the 'whiny' threads and you'll see a number of people attempting to help the person by telling them what they don't want to hear but need to know. It doesn't work they 100% believe it's out of their control and the fact is it's not true. This thread is another attempt to help those people by taking the kiddie gloves off and laying it out in such a way that it might get through. If you can't win them over by being nice and civil, maybe they'll realize it if you try to ram the truth into their head. In the end it's not about whatever they believe to be the truth right now, but what the true problem actually is. Themselves.
donnamaybe Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Sorry, kicking vunerable people when they're down is mainly the kind of thing that kids do high school. You can try and twist things around as much as you like but you wont change that. Sorry, but by the above post, THAT is what YOU are doing. This thread was begun in answer to another thread where yet another man is whining about "good guys getting the short end of the stick," and EVERY person who sincerely tried to help him on that thread was answered back very shortly and angrily with "WRONG" Blah blah blah blah blah! We're all sick and tired of the "poor me" mentality, at least where it concerns a person who won't even CONSIDER another viewpoint. SICK I TELL YA!
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 But thats the point, until they stop believing its true then their lives will never improve. We (the community collectively) have tried very nicely to inform some of these people that they should stop looking without for reasons and start looking within. Pick any one of the 'whiny' threads and you'll see a number of people attempting to help the person by telling them what they don't want to hear but need to know. It doesn't work they 100% believe it's out of their control and the fact is it's not true. This thread is another attempt to help those people by taking the kiddie gloves off and laying it out in such a way that it might get through. If you can't win them over by being nice and civil, maybe they'll realize it if you try to ram the truth into their head. In the end it's not about whatever they believe to be the truth right now, but what the true problem actually is. Themselves. It still isn't right being horrible to them. I know when people were being horrible to me it didn't help me or make me see the real problem (if there was one), it just made me feel even worse, alienated, angry, and made me wonder why these people were being like this to me.
Woggle Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Women don't like being told they enjoy being treated like garbage but what I see with my own eyes tells me different. What does it say when Ted Bundy got more women lusting after him than most decent men do in their whole life?
deux ex machina Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 It's just not fair! Isn't every man just by virtue of being alive entitled to sex with women?! Clearly the problem is they're too nice.
donnamaybe Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 It still isn't right being horrible to them. I know when people were being horrible to me it didn't help me or make me see the real problem (if there was one), it just made me feel even worse, alienated, angry, and made me wonder why these people were being like this to me. But it's okay for the whiner to be horrible to the people who are trying to help him? Because that's how the guy was behaving in the thread he started.
Rorschach Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 It still isn't right being horrible to them. I know when people were being horrible to me it didn't help me or make me see the real problem (if there was one), it just made me feel even worse, alienated, angry, and made me wonder why these people were being like this to me. Then those people are just unhelpable because they recognize help as a form of attack just like you are doing right now. This is a legitimate attempt to help people in a different way. When you attempt to treat a disease and medicine A doesn't work, you try medicine B, in this case medicine B is 'tough love'. But sometimes (as is apparantly your case, and probably some of the other men on this forum) their self-defenses are set SO high (probably part of the problem) that they register help as a threat to themselves, so they view it as attack and mentally they refuse entry. Just like the immune system in the body it can violently attack medicine when it views it as a foreign threat which in turn causes inflammation and makes the problem worse when if the immune system had just left the medicine alone and allowed it free entry the problem may have completely gone away. it seems to me thats what your doing right here, and if this is the case whose fault is it, the medicine, or the immune system?
sweetjasmine Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 What does it say when Ted Bundy got more women lusting after him than most decent men do in their whole life? Clearly it says you should kidnap, rape, and brutally murder women and young girls. Great analogy there, Wogs.
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 So you guys think that if a guy is over 30 and has never had a women before, that he is NOT supposed to feel down about it?
Woggle Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Clearly it says you should kidnap, rape, and brutally murder women and young girls. Great analogy there, Wogs. I would never do that but it says a alot about women's taste in men when he actually became a sex symbol.
donnamaybe Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Clearly it says you should kidnap, rape, and brutally murder women and young girls. Great analogy there, Wogs. Dangit. I have him on ignore finally, and now you quote his inanities.
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Then those people are just unhelpable because they recognize help as a form of attack just like you are doing right now. This is a legitimate attempt to help people in a different way. When you attempt to treat a disease and medicine A doesn't work, you try medicine B, in this case medicine B is 'tough love'. But sometimes (as is apparantly your case, and probably some of the other men on this forum) their self-defenses are set SO high (probably part of the problem) that they register help as a threat to themselves, so they view it as attack and mentally they refuse entry. Just like the immune system in the body it can violently attack medicine when it views it as a foreign threat which in turn causes inflammation and makes the problem worse when if the immune system had just left the medicine alone and allowed it free entry the problem may have completely gone away. it seems to me thats what your doing right here, and if this is the case whose fault is it, the medicine, or the immune system? But you guys are attacking.
sweetjasmine Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 So you guys think that if a guy is over 30 and has never had a women before, that he is NOT supposed to feel down about it? If a guy is over 30 and has never dated a woman before, he probably should entertain the possibility that he might be doing something wrong.
donnamaybe Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 So you guys think that if a guy is over 30 and has never had a women before, that he is NOT supposed to feel down about it? Of course he'll feel down. But then when he reaches out for help/advice and some is offered, should he slap down the assistance or give the advice thoughtful consideration? Go read that other thread I talked about and you'll see.
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 If a guy is over 30 and has never dated a woman before, he probably should entertain the possibility that he might be doing something wrong. You never answered the question.
Rorschach Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 So you guys think that if a guy is over 30 and has never had a women before, that he is NOT supposed to feel down about it? Not at all, he's just supposed to be willing to recognize the TRUE problems, not the percieved problems, and make the effort (and it is a real effort) to change. If one is not willing to change themselves then being with a woman is clearly not important enough. But if what your saying is that it IS very important, then we should be taking steps in the right direction, which starts with finding out what the true problem is. Most of the threads I've seen on LS it comes down to attitude, for me personally it came down to physical appearance, I have a good attitude, I deal with people well, I just was not physically attractive enough, so I started working hard, lost 50 pounds (and counting) and put some real effort into fixing the problems.
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