Cracker Jack Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 ^I already did, donnamaybe. I'm actually someone who believes the whole "Nice Guy gets played" argument is on broken legs nowadays. I don't agree with it, and feel as though everyone can make a path for themselves, to an extent. I just don't see how mocking guys who've had no luck in the dating game helps matters. I'm not sure if Green is doing that, or possibly trying to change the mindsets of some guys. If it's the latter, then I understand, though. I mean, I suck at the dating thing, too--but I'm not a boring, negative, I hate the world, type of guy, either. Sometimes you can be exciting, outgoing or whatever and still not get a woman. That's just how it is sometimes.
sally4sara Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Then toddle on over to this thread and offer some much needed advice. Ahh this helps; I did not see this thread and thought Green was being serious. My apologies Green; you had me more worried than usual!
Author Green Posted May 20, 2010 Author Posted May 20, 2010 HEY I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT. They need to keep complaining and doing the same exact boring things even if they keep getting the same poor results. For the man's sake? I'm glad you can sympathize with those less fortunate than yourself, but I doubt you will be feeling sorry enough for them enough to loan out your GF or any of your female relatives to help them. Why should women be asked to give more than you will? Loaning out gf's didn't work out in one flew over the coocoos nest
USMCHokie Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I just don't see how mocking guys who've had no luck in the dating game helps matters. I'm not sure if Green is doing that, or possibly trying to change the mindsets of some guys. If it's the latter, then I understand, though. He is. He gave me similar words of "encouragement" in my own pity party thread, which I absolutely appreciated. Sometimes we all just need a kick in the pants to pull our heads out of our asses.
donnamaybe Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 ^I already did, donnamaybe. I'm actually someone who believes the whole "Nice Guy gets played" argument is on broken legs nowadays. I don't agree with it, and feel as though everyone can make a path for themselves, to an extent. I just don't see how mocking guys who've had no luck in the dating game helps matters. I'm not sure if Green is doing that, or possibly trying to change the mindsets of some guys. If it's the latter, then I understand, though. I mean, I suck at the dating thing, too--but I'm not a boring, negative, I hate the world, type of guy, either. Sometimes you can be exciting, outgoing or whatever and still not get a woman. That's just how it is sometimes. I think that's it, actually. I've seen him trying to get these guys to consider another viewpoint, and many of them just WILL not have it. As a woman, it gets extremely old being told that every one of us ONLY wants a jerk as a partner and that we enjoy being treated like a piece of meat.
Mimolicious Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 My friends are not life-less. They have good jobs and hobbies. They respect women and don't slap them on the butt after 15 mintes. They don't demand sex within a week. They like to take it slow and get to know her as a person first rather than use her as a sex object like jerks do. I think you're mistaken my post for someone else's. I never said that I want to get slapped on my butt and will give sex if demanded after a week. I have not even mentioned sex in my replies and neither was mentioned on the original post. Let me give you an example: I went on a lunch date the other day with someone that I met at an event. He's a latin singer to be exact. Seem decent, well put together. Me, I am divorced, I know who I am, what I have and where I am. 10 minutes into the lunch this dude starts talking all sorts of negative lame stuff. How he doesn't have this, doesn't have that, doesn't believe in god, doesn't think he is where his career should be because this other singer gets more bookings and press blah, blah, blah. Turned out that I basically attented his fricking PITY PARTY- FML!!!!!! Punch line was when he asked me: What do you think about me? As blunt and as bitchy as I am, my lips were only able to roll out "I think you're cool". His face was like WTF?????? "Cool"? That's the best you can say??? Well, let's be fricking for real! You honestly think that I am going to say "Oh why, then can't wait till we can have dinner!"???!! Getdafackouttahere! If I can't wait for this date to be over, I can't imagine rolling in the sheets with his sorry a$$. Now if you are talking about convinving little girls to give it up, then that is a different story. I am a grown a$$ woman, and I know what I want. If you are not stimulating then most likely you wont get to moist me. Plain and simple. Rather than focusing on all that you don't have, work on bringing out what you do have. I don't exactly mean a beemer or a benz. If I wanted to be someone's emotional and spitiritual healer, I would have been a therapist. Not a financial advisor. LOL!
Jersey Shortie Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 A jerk approaches a woman and slaps her on the butt within minutes after smooth talk. She says she hates it but she wants more of it.A nice guy approaches a woman and if he touches her arm gently or God forbid hugs her she rubuffs him or even darts away. You can't really believe that. You just can't. I will say it for the 1000000000% time. Being "nice" is not good enough for either men or women. That doesn't mean women want jerks. Women don't want nice guys. They don't want jerks. They want GOOD MEN. If you understand this distinction, then you are on your way.
Cracker Jack Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I hear ya, donna. Honestly, I was one of those guys making that sorry excuse at one point, till I started looking within to understand why I had no luck with women. It's all about attitude, and always blaming the "Bad Boys" for it seems like an excuse to me. That's just too easy of a reason to give up. However, even with a positive, interesting, outgoing attitude, you can still be crap outta luck with women if they're just not feeling you, which is to be expected--but one can grow weary after being looked by for so long. It ain't a good feeling. I really don't see myself as a boring person, and I know how to make women laugh--but...I never get anywhere else. I ain't aggressive, so that's a strike against me.
donnamaybe Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 However, even with a positive, interesting, outgoing attitude, you can still be crap outta luck with women if they're just not feeling you, which is to be expected--but one can grow weary after being looked by for so long. It ain't a good feeling. I know, and I do feel bad for people who have no luck with relationships. I had a guy friend once - just a friend - who wanted more. He had many WONDERFUL qualities, and I could have easily been attracted to him. BUT - I could tell he was the kind of guy who, if I were that type of girl, would let me walk all over him if I wanted. That turned me off BIG time. He now has a gal who - will wonders never cease - walks all over him, and he lets her. Sometimes it's the little things...
sunnyup Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 If you are a loser like you say but you also have money? Get into a relationship with a homeless woman, many of them are hot and they'll stick around cuz you have a roof over your head and free food.
sally4sara Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Most of the time, these "nice guys" have some quality or personality flaw that cancels out their good points. Brings to mind a guy in my circle of friends. He's not mean. He has a good job and his own place. Has even traveled a good bit and had some less than common life experiences to aid him in conversation topics. He is not even short or bald. What he does to hamstring himself is a few things. Physically: He holds his jaw in a underbite fashion he thinks makes him look less anxious. It really only serves to make his face appear like that of an old man missing his dentures. He slouches with his hands in his pockets and sloping his shoulders - only adding to the old man appearance and a still demeanor in conversation. Will not ever NOT wear a ball cap causing most people to assume he is bald and embarrassed about it. Social skills: He does not see women as people. He sees them only as the holders of his destiny. He has misconceptions about what a woman's initial goals are when meeting someone for the first time and starts talking about her having his "babbies" before even learning her last name! He completely buys into the double standard and will talk at length about it. He struggles to maintain eye contact. So yeah, he has many good qualities, but how could a complete stranger identify them with all that going on? And if you try to explain any of this to him, he gets petulant and in his feelings about it. It doesn't matter if it is a female or male friend trying to clue him in, he doesn't want to hear about it.
Cracker Jack Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Well, if your circle of friends are bringing this up to him, he should listen more. Not that the problems would be fixed overnight, but it would be good for him to start somewhere. Btw, the "holders of his destiny" sounded pretty funny; never heard that one. Does that mainly refer to him "needing a woman" in order to be successful in life? I can't really tell, but it sounds like it would be something close to that. If so, how is that not seeing them as "people?" At the end of the day, every (Normal) guy just wants to be loved by a female--and without one, there'll always be a huge void in our life, no matter how successful things appear to be. Some men just feel a need to have a woman in order to complete their life. Just my take on things.
norajane Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I know, and I do feel bad for people who have no luck with relationships. I had a guy friend once - just a friend - who wanted more. He had many WONDERFUL qualities, and I could have easily been attracted to him. BUT - I could tell he was the kind of guy who, if I were that type of girl, would let me walk all over him if I wanted. That turned me off BIG time. He now has a gal who - will wonders never cease - walks all over him, and he lets her. Sometimes it's the little things... I have a friend like that. His ex-wife walked all over him, and his rebound gf after his divorce totally walked all over him...and then he finally got a clue when his rebound gf didn't like him spending time with his kids. Now he's dating this charming, adorable woman who treats him with respect and admires all his wonderful qualities, and he's blossomed into a confident, happy guy. He finally learned - from her - that HE has to contribute to his own happiness just like he contributed to his own misery. Now, back to the irony in this thread...
sally4sara Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Well, if your circle of friends are bringing this up to him, he should listen more. Not that the problems would be fixed overnight, but it would be good for him to start somewhere. Btw, the "holders of his destiny" sounded pretty funny; never heard that one. Does that mainly refer to him "needing a woman" in order to be successful in life? I can't really tell, but it sounds like it would be something close to that. If so, how is that not seeing them as "people?" At the end of the day, every (Normal) guy just wants to be loved by a female--and without one, there'll always be a huge void in our life, no matter how successful things appear to be. Some men just feel a need to have a woman in order to complete their life. Just my take on things. Part of the lengthy double standard talk he gives is that (to him) a man's destiny is to continue his genes. So his interest in women is not so much about a particular woman or a woman possessing X, Y, or Z qualities. And it has nothing to do with what makes her an individual identifiable from others. It is that she has a uterus and can help him fulfill his destiny. So in conversation, he struggles. He does not ask questions about her likes or dislikes or what she expects out of a partner; these things are of no interest to him. He assumes she is on her quest for a baby as that is what he thinks women are for and being pregnant is their one true desire. And even he gets laid on the rare occasion! Tho only by women who care nothing for his personality and only that his junk works for the night. However, they are not "mother material" for him because of this behavior, tho he fails to recognize his own behavior could have him considered not "father material" for the same reasons. The most he has been able to learn about this character flaw he has is to not vocalize it anymore around the females in our social group.
Cracker Jack Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Part of the lengthy double standard talk he gives is that (to him) a man's destiny is to continue his genes. So his interest in women is not so much about a particular woman or a woman possessing X, Y, or Z qualities. And it has nothing to do with what makes her an individual identifiable from others. It is that she has a uterus and can help him fulfill his destiny. So in conversation, he struggles. He does not ask questions about her likes or dislikes or what she expects out of a partner; these things are of no interest to him. He assumes she is on her quest for a baby as that is what he thinks women are for and being pregnant is their one true desire. Wow, seriously? He only looks at women to bear his children? Nothing else? At all? Um...not good. And here I thought he was simply placing them on a sky-high pedestal. Man, was I wrong. And even he gets laid on the rare occasion! Tho only by women who care nothing for his personality and only that his junk works for the night. However, they are not "mother material" for him because of this behavior, tho he fails to recognize his own behavior could have him considered not "father material" for the same reasons. The most he has been able to learn about this character flaw he has is to not vocalize it anymore around the females in our social group. I see. Sounds to me like all the women he places his focus on are simply up for a "screening process" in order to weed out the ones with "mother material" instead of genuine companionship in the long-run. Yeah, his social skills aren't where they need to be. He can learn a thing or two from you. Ha!
carhill Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 his junk works for the night Oh, make it stop, PLEASE!
sally4sara Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Wow, seriously? He only looks at women to bear his children? Nothing else? At all? Um...not good. And here I thought he was simply placing them on a sky-high pedestal. Man, was I wrong. I see. Sounds to me like all the women he places his focus on are simply up for a "screening process" in order to weed out the ones with "mother material" instead of genuine companionship in the long-run. Yeah, his social skills aren't where they need to be. He can learn a thing or two from you. Ha! I realize I'm making him sound like he has no good qualities, but he does. He has an incredible amount of honor. Any of the guys in the group could call him from out of town and tell him their GF or wife was being hassled by some dude, and he would without argument, roll up and beat the snot out over whoever was bothering her. He is very chivalrous and respectful to his male friends SOs. But he won't likely learn much from me or me and my husband as a couple. We and one other couple are a complete puzzle to him because we and they have no plans to have any children together. Myself and another wife in the group even asked our husbands who had much ease with women as single men to take him out and act as his personal wingman crew. They went out, and all that happened was he got sensitive over their tips and went home in a huff.
sally4sara Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Oh! and I should add he is already reached age 41 still having these issues.
Mimolicious Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Oh! and I should add he is already reached age 41 still having these issues. Suggest early retirement. Those homes and communities are nice!
Ihavenoidea Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I just want to say that this is the best thread EVER
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 (edited) Yaaaay! Let's kick unconfident unhappy people when they're down. You all feel better? It's hard to believe you guys are supposed to be adults, you come across more like you're in high school. Edited May 20, 2010 by Ross PK
Rorschach Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Yaaaay! Let's kick unconfident unhappy people when they're down. You all feel better? Heres a question what makes people unconfidant and unhappy? Answer: themselves Tell them this, watch them ignore you often enough, you stop trying to help.
Crazy Magnet Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I can't wait to sink my teeth into a super boring super loser.:love::love:
Ross PK Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Heres a question what makes people unconfidant and unhappy? Answer: themselves Tell them this, watch them ignore you often enough, you stop trying to help. No excuse.
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