Engadget Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I've made a few topics about this girl I know, who I met through a mutual friend, and who I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She's an attractive, very genuine and honest girl who had a fling with another friend of mine that ended badly, they seemed like they really liked each other and then she got sick of him and moved on. So instead of having a similar situation befall me and her, I decided after that happened that I wanted to be friends with her, and we even spoke about it yesterday, although we danced around the issue. She explained that she doesn't trust guys, I explained that I got out of a 4 year relationship that I was looking to get to know any girls I met before anything happened, and she said she was the same way with guys. The situation is difficult because there's a mutual attraction that's obvious, and on several occasions she was throwing off every sign to have me make a move, and I didn't. She is also bi-sexual as well, and seems to never know what she wants, always changing her mind on people she gets involved with, which is the major reason I won't make a move because I don't want something to happen and then have us never speak again. I spent the night there and even slept in her bed with nothing happening, although we both felt the tension and her nervousness and the light touching was kind of cute. Everyone in our mutual circle of friends is convinced something has happened and I had to explain, as did she that nothing did. I could see myself really liking her, but I'm wary, as is she of getting hurt. I'm very confident in myself and am not worried about whether or not she's into me, and we seem to be on the same page although the topic of sex came up a few times. I guess I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing here. I'm not out there looking to just get laid, I'm actually looking for more. I guess my only worry is that she'll get sick of waiting, although my hope is that my approach will intrigue her more since I'm not that type of guy just looking for sex.
ADF Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I think both of you need to stop dancing around things, admit you like each other, and take a chance. This "I don't want to be hurt" business can be taken too far. People can be so determined not to get hurt, they miss out on being happy. Consider something else: any attractiwe, unattached woman is going to draw men like flies. In no time, tons of guys are going to be after her. If you take this too slow, you'll likely end up getting pushed aside by some other guy who goes after her more aggressiwely. Stop waiting.
Author Engadget Posted May 20, 2010 Author Posted May 20, 2010 (edited) I think both of you need to stop dancing around things, admit you like each other, and take a chance. This "I don't want to be hurt" business can be taken too far. People can be so determined not to get hurt, they miss out on being happy. Consider something else: any attractiwe, unattached woman is going to draw men like flies. In no time, tons of guys are going to be after her. If you take this too slow, you'll likely end up getting pushed aside by some other guy who goes after her more aggressiwely. Stop waiting. You didn't really understand my post I think ADF. She does have guys coming around, and I don't really care. If she chooses to go with someone else, we'll remain friends and whatever, that's fine. Anyone she gets involved with she moves on from very fast, which is why I haven't gotten involved with her. I'd rather hang out and be friends for the foreseeable future than get involved, and not see her again. And as I pointed out, my friend who did aggressively pursue her got shot down and she won't talk to him anymore. I'm not letting that happen. Edited May 20, 2010 by Engadget
ADF Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 You didn't really understand my post I think ADF. She does have guys coming around, and I don't really care. If she chooses to go with someone else, we'll remain friends and whatever, that's fine. Anyone she gets involved with she moves on from very fast, which is why I haven't gotten involved with her. I'd rather hang out and be friends for the foreseeable future than get involved, and not see her again. And as I pointed out, my friend who did aggressively pursue her got shot down and she won't talk to him anymore. I'm not letting that happen. Oh. Wow. When you describe it that way, she sounds kind of mean. It sounds like you don't want to date her because if you do, she's likely to dump you and neer speak to you again. Honestly, what is so great about a woman who treats people like that?
Author Engadget Posted May 20, 2010 Author Posted May 20, 2010 Oh. Wow. When you describe it that way, she sounds kind of mean. It sounds like you don't want to date her because if you do, she's likely to dump you and neer speak to you again. Honestly, what is so great about a woman who treats people like that? Well she's a little confused when it comes to relationships it seems, and yes I'm not willing to be dropped like that. That being said she is a good person deep down, and I've gotten to know her a lot better recently. At the very least she's a friend, if anything beyond that happens it needs to be more substantial than a fling. That's why I'm taking it slow, even though there is a mutual attraction.
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