Author lovesick212 Posted May 21, 2010 Author Posted May 21, 2010 Little confused -- this was 20 years ago he married his then pregnant girlfriend...making his daughter 19 or 20, correct? So he doesn't want to leave his "bad marriage" because he wants to be in his grown child's life?? Yeah... that's a load of bull he fed you.. LOL...yes I would agree with you had that been the case. He met his W 20 years ago (after we broke up) and she got pregnant 17 years ago and their daughter is just 16. They have been married 17 years but together 20. Sorry I was not clear. BTW I would have figured that one out...I am not that great at math but ........ lol NC is great for people who are in affairs that are dead ends. NC is great for people who truly WANT out of the affair. To play pretend with it isn't really what NC, in my mind, is. Playing games of 'ending' the affair when you really have no desire to, when you really have no problem being the other person, isn't NO CONTACT. That is a game of "I want to make him miss me and really want me". That is what kids in junior high do. We didnt decide to have NC to end this A. We chose NC because having contact was becoming very distracting and frustrating , not to mention we are both concerned about getting caught. We have not decided to end this we just need to "relax". BTW he suggested it not me. I just agreed. I still will never understand the whole "I can't get divorced because of ....". People CAN do it, they just choose not to I can and I am. I have 2 little ones to consider and having a planful divorce is the only way I can do this. I cannot go by the seat of my pants. I want this to be as painless as possible for the chldren. Therefore I am getting things in order, one could say.
2sunny Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 are you going to state what your boundary is or are you going to keep repeating the same info over and over? if you are in NC now - what really is the point? especially if you are intending to continue this deception? it looks like he doesn't intend to leave his W... have YOU specifically asked him? ask. if he's not leaving his M now - there is no point in ever needing to speak to him again... unless YOU intend to sign up for a ton of misery. go read some threads on the OM/OW section... it's a very painful existence to sit and wait for a selfish person who wants it all and never intends to leave the M. what are YOU looking for? be honest. and be honest with yourself = he will most likely never leave his W.
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