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Approached a cute girl in Starbucks; froze up after the introduction

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

By Don'tWannabeAWannabe
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BubbleFreak Established Member

BubbleFreak

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OP, what have you actually gained from this thread? Seems you don't like a lot of our suggestions.

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe Established Member

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

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OP, good approach. Reading it, going beyond the boots into details went a bit gay. I know because I do it all the time. Better idea would be to take the 'nice boots' and turn it into a flirt. For my age group, I might have said 'I just had a Nancy Sinatra moment there...mmm'.

 

I'm familiar with 60s music, but do you think most young girls today will have ever heard "The Boots Are Made For Walking?"

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Probably not, which is why I included 'for my age group', which, by looking at my avatar, which is me, one can tell is 'old'. Your age group will have its permutations. The clear imperative is to be flirty. Make it physical but still be a gentleman about it. If she decides to date you, she's not looking for a girlfriend. Good luck :)

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

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Please dont think Im calling YOU a whore... but....

 

Men secretly think we are all whores anyway, might as well set our price.

VertexSquared Established Member

VertexSquared

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Alright, let's say I DID buy the coffee.

 

Then what? What comes next?

 

What girl has ever fallen over a guy simply because he bought her coffee?

 

As far as I'm concerned, most girls won't even say yes to coffee or let you buy them one unless they were interested to begin with. If you're insisting that you buy a stranger coffee blindly, then you get what you pay for -- a lottery ticket, really. Usually you can save money by trying to establish SOME kind of pre-chemistry before you do the initial invitation.

 

I think at the same time though you have to learn to not whine about it. I wound up spending a few hundred altogether on various women that didn't work out within the first few dates within the timespan of a week or two, but you don't see me holding some bitter grudge over it. The attitude shows through. In this thread, for instance, you don't come across as naturally lighthearted -- try just relaxing and being chill... you'll have better luck.

FryFish Established Member

FryFish

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I'm familiar with 60s music, but do you think most young girls today will have ever heard "The Boots Are Made For Walking?"
So you trade the gay fashion conversation for a gay leaning music conversation...?

 

Men secretly think we are all whores anyway, might as well set our price.
Marsle costs 201 dollars... But seriously I dont date chicks that give off the "whore" vibe... I know that there are real women out there that dont trade pussy for money and arent tallying up how much their current john has spent on them.
Ross PK Established Member

Ross PK

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Yeah, I can understand the 'have a good night' bit must've been really embarrssing. Also, the 'I'm studying over there, just getting my learn on' sounded quite dorky (No offense).

 

I think the reason you did these things was probably because you weren't that relaxed/confident with trying to hit on a girl you don't know.

marsle85 Established Member

marsle85

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So you trade the gay fashion conversation for a gay leaning music conversation...?

 

Marsle costs 201 dollars... But seriously I dont date chicks that give off the "whore" vibe... I know that there are real women out there that dont trade pussy for money and arent tallying up how much their current john has spent on them.

 

 

Woah, yikes. First, I said ">" or "MORE THAN" $200, gotta give me some credit;)... Secondly, my comment was directed to St. Nick in reference to another thread. Amount of money spent on me does not correlate with amount of sex. Amount of effort/chemistry does.

Pink Cupcakes Established Member

Pink Cupcakes

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Sounds like you had a Frappacinno.

sagetalk Established Member

sagetalk

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As in... ... ...?

 

You, "Great boots"

Girl "Thanks"

You "But the legs in them are even better" in a non serious, flirting tone, with a big ol' whoppin' smile on your face :cool:

 

Sure you might get smacked, but I bet Elvis got smacked a few times in his life too. Every guy in that coffee shop would say, "I wish I had the guts to do that."

sagetalk Established Member

sagetalk

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My kinda guy

 

What if he has 17th century values, don't you want to ask him that before you say that :p?

 

For what it's worth, I'd buy you a $300 cup of coffee :D.

Green Established Member

Green

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I don't mean to be overdramatic' date=' but I feel like a fool/tool. Almost a year of not interacting with girls on a meaningful level since college has made me really awkward.[/quote']

 

First off DO NOT FEEL LIKE A FOOL/TOOL this has been the closest story to trying that I have seen on these msg boards in a long time and I aplaud you. BRAVO

 

I was reading at Starbucks today. There were a lot of cute girls' date=' and I wanted to talk to a few of them, but for some reason, I was afraid of having strangers overhear my attempts to chat up girls and what they would think if I got shot down.[/quote']

 

This is just the thing... Every day we see cute girls if we just go out to the park/mall/bank/get a cofee... YOU HAVE TO LET STRANGERS OVER HEAR YOUR ATTEMPTS... You have to speak loud and flirt.. and enjoy it... When I met my gf there were strangers all over the place but I asked her out and got her number and my friends who were in the room didn't even notice... Even if people do notice most will keep to themselves... Seriously if you are in line at the bank and the teller girl is the love of your life are you going to miss an oportunity just because some old lady and trucker guy are behind you in line and will over hear if you get rejected.. GO FOR IT.. .ROMANCE

 

Then it got quiet. I went to refill my drink and then went to the little side-bar where the straws and sugar packets and milk are. There was this cute' date=' short girl with long black hair, a khaki skirt and knee-high light-brown leather boots with stiletto heels. There was no one around, so I thought this was my chance. [/quote']

 

Darn straight it was your chance I'm proud of you for aproaching a girl you found attrative... Only go after women you find attractive from the start... women that excite you.

 

I just casually said' date=' from the side, "Killer boots." She just looked at me and said, "hmm? What?"[/quote']

 

Wow this is a great Ice breaker... Just make sure you say it loud and confident. I like it because it compliments her on her taste. Much better then complimenting her on her eyes or something right off the bat... thats to personal... but killer boots or I like your glasses... or some weather we are having ... all great openers.. heck even What time is it..

 

I said "I said those are some killer boots." She was like, "Oh thank you."

 

And I said, "Yeah, I got a leather jacket that's that exact same color and texture. I've been looking for shoes to match them, but we guys don't have the selection of shoes you girls have."

 

That line was something I've had in my head for a while. It's something that I thought would be really clever when said aloud, but she only gave a weak laugh for it. I then told her my name, and then she said hers. I asked her, "How's your day going?"

 

I have to agree with the people who said its a little gay to talk about how you wish you could have more of a shoe selection like girls get... Unless you said it really goofy... LOOK DON"T TRY TO THINK UP LINES JUST BE NATURAL AND SAY THINGS THAT ARE FUN FOR YOU TO SAY.... I say things that I myself enjoy saying

 

She said, "It's going good." I asked her, "Enjoying the weather? Trying to get some sun before the rain comes again?"

 

She just said "Yeah." She seemed friendly, but at the same time, not entirely enthusiastic about talking to me. I just replied, "Yeah, I'm just studying at that table over there... Just getting my learn on." She just nodded and said "cool."

 

I don't know why that came out of my mouth. I felt so awkward for having said it afterwards; I felt like Paul Rudd in "I Love You Man" after he calls Jason Segel for the first time.

 

I then realized that we had been silent for like a couple of seconds. Then I just panicked and then said "Well, have a good night," but then I realized it was day and said "I mean, have a good day." She said "You too," waved and walked away.

 

Dude you did great... Only thing is you need to pull the trigger and face your fear of rejection "hey I'm going to this party this week and you should come" or "Want to see Iron man 2" you get the point... come up with some sht... then when she says yes or no doesn matter pull your phone out and tell her to put her number in... then imeadetly txt her right there and then with your name and nice to meet you so she has ur info in ur phone...

 

YOU HAVE TO PULL THE TRIGGER AND FACE REJECTON... DON"T JUST LEAVE IT AT A NICE CONVO... YOU HAVE THE SILLY ICE BREAK... THEN MENTION THE WEAHTER OR WHATEVER>>> THEN YOU ASK HER OUT TO SOMETHING COOL AND GET HER NUBMER>>>>

 

I then just felt really embarrassed afterward. I was discouraged from even just wanting to talk to any girls after that. A year or two ago, I never would have imagined that talking to girls "in the real world" would be so hard, or that I'd become so flustered and awkward when talking to one for the first time.

 

What can I do? What could I have done different with this one to make some chemistry?

 

Enjoy yourelf and make sure people hear you... don't shy away from bystanders hearing you that is creepy... PULL THE TRIGGER AND PUT THEM ON THE SPOT AND ASK THEM OUT... DON"T ACT GAY... BE YOURSELF. NO LINES NEEDED

 

YOU ARE DOING GREAT... KEEP IT UP... APROACH MORE GIRLS BECAUSE THEY LOVE THIS CRAP.... IT IS SO ROMANTIC FOR A WOMAN TO BE APROACHED AND FLIRTED WITH OUT IN PUBLIC... EVEN IF THEY ARE MARRIED THEY WILL WAIVE THE RING AND BE COMPLIMENTED...

 

DON"T JUST LEAVE IT AT HAVE A NICE DAY.... YOU NEED TO PUT SOME PRESSURE ON THEM FOR WHAT YOU ARE REALLY AFTER

sagetalk Established Member

sagetalk

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then when she says yes or no doesn matter pull your phone out and tell her to put her number in... then imeadetly txt her right there and then with your name and nice to meet you so she has ur info in ur phone...

 

That is awesome man, I would love to do that in person. That girl would be so red faced (if she was a keeper anyway) it make you feel like a million bucks.

marsle85 Established Member

marsle85

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I validate and encourage everything Green said... especially the pursuit in public.

 

* When I was 16 I worked as a cashier at a grocery market, and as I was cashing out this guy as he made small talk. So I hand him his bag, flash him a smile and prepare to proceed to the next customer. He gives me the weirdest smile. It was half struggle, half grin and hesitated before leaving. Needless to say, he came back 5 minutes later, went through my line again and asked me out.

 

Siiiigh, so romantic.

If you think the girl will be calling her friends after your encounter, doooo itttttt.

 

What if he has 17th century values, don't you want to ask him that before you say that :p?

 

For what it's worth, I'd buy you a $300 cup of coffee :D.

 

 

Hm. What does the danish selection look like?

sagetalk Established Member

sagetalk

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Hm. What does the danish selection look like?

 

Crap, don't tell me there is coffee that actually costs $300.

Trimmer Established Member

Trimmer

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What if he has 17th century values, don't you want to ask him that before you say that :p?

"He" has 17th century honor, but 21st century values... And the lady could already tell. ;)

marsle85 Established Member

marsle85

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"He" has 17th century honor, but 21st century values... And the lady could already tell. ;)

 

 

Well perfect, I have a 21st century dowry. :laugh:

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