Laura10 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Hi everyone This is probably going to be a long post....so warning you first I am 23 years old, I'm in grad school working on my doctorate...it's my second year. Outside of school I have no social life. During the school year, I'm distracted by everything so that I don't have time to dwell on the fact that most of the time, I spend alone at home. It's sad and now that it's summer, and I'm getting a break, I'm realizing just how lonely I am. I can't even sleep at night because I'm always thinking about how I have no friends. It just makes me sad. Needless to say, I've never been in a relationship or even truly hung out with friends. Unless I'm speaking to a family member, I can go the entire day or even longer without saying a single word. I know I'm rambling on and on about this and I'm sure you get the picture. I just want someone to hang out with. I'm so afraid I'm never going to find anyone, get married, have a family. I mean, I'm already 23, I went 23 years without a single relationship...I just don't know what the first step to take is. I have tons to acquaintances, I have been out on dates, but I've somehow or other managed to screw them up. Another factor that brought on this loneliness is that I recently stopped seeing this guy. Before, I had him to hang out with and talk to, but now I don't. And I don't even have any girlfriends to go to for support. I know what my issues are, I just don't know how to change them. Apparently I have no problems attracting guys, I just have a problem keeping their interest. I'm just so shy and my mind goes blank, half the time I just sit there in silence because I'm panicking over what to say and that makes me even more quiet. And who wants to date someone who can't say anything interesting? I'm not really sure what I want to get out of posting this. I guess I just need someone to tell me that everything will be ok, that I will find someone. Maybe even advice on how to stop being so shy and nervous all the time. I just don't know what to do at this point. Thanks for listening.
skydiveaddict Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Laura, you need to find some new hobbies/activities. Get yourself out there. You must have classmates that you studied with, give them a ring. Of course as I've said before , skydiving is the best social networking on this planet. You will meet TONS of available, single guys. Plus it's the biggest rush of your life. good luck
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Hi everyone This is probably going to be a long post....so warning you first I am 23 years old, I'm in grad school working on my doctorate...it's my second year. Outside of school I have no social life. During the school year, I'm distracted by everything so that I don't have time to dwell on the fact that most of the time, I spend alone at home. It's sad and now that it's summer, and I'm getting a break, I'm realizing just how lonely I am. I can't even sleep at night because I'm always thinking about how I have no friends. It just makes me sad. Needless to say, I've never been in a relationship or even truly hung out with friends. Unless I'm speaking to a family member, I can go the entire day or even longer without saying a single word. I know I'm rambling on and on about this and I'm sure you get the picture. I just want someone to hang out with. I'm so afraid I'm never going to find anyone, get married, have a family. I mean, I'm already 23, I went 23 years without a single relationship...I just don't know what the first step to take is. I have tons to acquaintances, I have been out on dates, but I've somehow or other managed to screw them up. Another factor that brought on this loneliness is that I recently stopped seeing this guy. Before, I had him to hang out with and talk to, but now I don't. And I don't even have any girlfriends to go to for support. I know what my issues are, I just don't know how to change them. Apparently I have no problems attracting guys, I just have a problem keeping their interest. I'm just so shy and my mind goes blank, half the time I just sit there in silence because I'm panicking over what to say and that makes me even more quiet. And who wants to date someone who can't say anything interesting? I'm not really sure what I want to get out of posting this. I guess I just need someone to tell me that everything will be ok, that I will find someone. Maybe even advice on how to stop being so shy and nervous all the time. I just don't know what to do at this point. Thanks for listening. I love the authentic tone of your post! I think the answer is to follow your non-romantic interests and watch them take you to places where male peers seem to be. I know that the last thing you might want to do during summer is take a class, but it would make great sense that IF there is some subject matter from which you could gain by taking a night class somewhere, for a couple of nights a week during summer, that would provide an environment (and an excuse to be in it) where like-aged, like-interested people will be. In SOME ways it doesn't matter that many/some of the men there would be married, as you could just use the practice in being around and interacting with all different sorts of personalities, for help when you really find the right one down the road. In some ways you are bound to be pressing too hard, so to focus some of your energy elsewhere (other than romance) could surprise you in helpful fashion.
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