xRJ85x Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 So this girl I met online I've been talking to for a couple weeks and today I got her number. But it gets better (maybe?)...we mentioned some places where we like to hang out, and in the same email she gave me her number in she said she was gonna be at this one hot spot this weekend for her birthday...which happens to be the exact same spot I'm gonna be in for my friends birthday this weekend haha. I'm not sure what night she's gonna be there, but my question is do I tell her that I'm gonna be there too, and that I wanna buy her a birthday drink? Or do I not mention anything and make a date as our first time meeting each other?
doomage Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 make the date but DO NOT BUY HER A DRINK IF YOU DO YOU WILL BE DEAD IN THE WATER. yOU HARDLY KNOW THIS GIRL AND ALREADY WANNA BUY HER A DRINK?.....sorry for screaming lol. Just play it cool and casual she gave you her number for a reason don't blow it by being a supplicating wussbag. If she asks you to buy her a drink say, "Oh you wanna buy me a drink...sure...." and take her to the bar or whatever or just say "only if you guess my favorite drink and buy it for me then ill buy you a drink." just dont be too easy to conquer. good luck
ladyjane83 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Um whats wrong with him offering to buy her a drink?? Its her birthday. I'm not one of those girls that expects guys to pay for thinks or but me things etc so I dont mean this in that sense...but I personally think its a nice gesture. Certainly didnt need screaming about!! OP i think she will like it if you just say oh Im going to be there that weekend too, i'll keep an eye out for you and then maybe can get you a birthday drink. or something to that effect. I know I would like that. It takes the pressure off having to have a first meet in a more formal setting.
doomage Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 because why does he have to buy her anything? if your gonna do that don't make a big deal about getting her a drink, if your at the same setting where drinks are available, just get one for her and be like "here" and blah blah blah just talk to her. How old are u guys?
ladyjane83 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 He doesnt HAVE to get her a drink, its not about him spending money or her having something bought for her. Its just something to suggest and that way he knows they will at least get to have a drink together rather than just a quick hello. If they were arranging a first meet somewhere else like a coffee shop or bar he would probably buy her a drink there so whats the big deal?
Ihavenoidea Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Ya seriously. since when did buying a woman a drink mean that you are desperate and are easy. The only person making a big deal about buying the drink is you doomage not the OP, it also sounds like your playing games. lol Thats the dumbest advice I have ever heard. I'm with ladyjane. Id say you are going to be there and that you will keep and eye out. IF you guy meet up offer to buy her a drink. One again like ladyjane said you would normallybuy the drinks if you went for coffee or something, this makes you seem ike a nice guy. Besides is just a drink
Author xRJ85x Posted May 20, 2010 Author Posted May 20, 2010 because why does he have to buy her anything? if your gonna do that don't make a big deal about getting her a drink, if your at the same setting where drinks are available, just get one for her and be like "here" and blah blah blah just talk to her. How old are u guys? Who said anything about buying her a drink being a big deal? If you don't pay for anything for a girl on the first date, then I'm really curious to what your first dates consist of...lol It's really simple, I have no idea how you could have taken it otherwise.
Author xRJ85x Posted May 20, 2010 Author Posted May 20, 2010 Anyway, thanks you two. I'm gonna think about it a little more, I just wanted to get some girls perspectives on it. My only real concern was the setting for a first impression. We'd both be around a group of our friends, and though I'm more comfortable being outgoing and funny in that situation, it's obviously not a "date" setting. One of my close friends that I'm gonna be out with this weekend thinks I should text her happy birthday, but hold off on trying to meet up with her.
ladyjane83 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I don't think you should worry about holding off trying to meet up with her...Its not like you're only going to that place because she is, you were going there anyway so why not let her know that you will keep an eye out for her. If she finds out that you were there that weekend too but didn't mention it too her then she may think you're not interested. Plus the fact that its her birthday is the perfect opportunity to offer to grab a drink with her. I would love it if I had the opportunity to "bump into" any of the guys that I had been talking to online while out with my friends, rather than having the first awkward one on one meeting because like you said, Im more confident, funny etc that way and chances are she probably will be too and will prefer a first meet to be with her friends there for support. If it goes ok you can then always arrange a date just the two of you and if it goes badly you got the "well I better get back to my friends" excuse. Perfect!
Ihavenoidea Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Besides how would it look, that she told you she would be there, and you show up with your friends but didnt say anything? It might come off as youre not interested or trying to hide it or something. I would meet her offer to buy a drink make some small talk and maybe set up a date for later and go back to your friends. You are there for them not her after all. EDIT: I think ladyjane and I are on the same page
ladyjane83 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 haha yeah we are defo on the same page!! thats exactly what I meant...if I told a guy I was going to be at a place then saw him there and he hadnt let me know he was going to be there I would straight away assume he isnt interested.
Author xRJ85x Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 so OP what have you decided to do? Oh sorry guys I meant to update you haha. I went with what you guys said. I wrote "Wait…seriously? I’m gonna be up there Saturday night for my friend Mike’s birthday hahaha. We’ll be at (this bar) and (this bar). If I run into you I’ll buy you a birthday drink" She responded "Hahaha yea that's the plan so far! Funny that you mention those two places, they're the only two places I've ever been there and are options for this weekend. Yea maybe we'll run into each other."
ladyjane83 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 ahh thats good!! I'm glad you did it. Let us know how it goes xx
Author xRJ85x Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 No dice last night. I was gonna text her to wish her happy bday, but figured she'd be at least half drunk and I haven't even met her yet so held off on risking it. I'm gonna call her tomorrow or Tuesday, ask her how her night went, and see if she wants to go out next weekend.
ladyjane83 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Ah well, at least the thought was there. Yeah give her a call and ask her how her birthday was etc then set up a date. At least you have a conversation starter being able to ask how her night was.
Author xRJ85x Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 Ah well, at least the thought was there. Yeah give her a call and ask her how her birthday was etc then set up a date. At least you have a conversation starter being able to ask how her night was. You think I should have texted her Happy Bday? I was just afraid it she'd get the wrong idea and take it as "Lets go find each other!" She's really friendly so I don't think that would be the first thing to pop in her head, but I'm not a girl with a guy who I've never met online so I dunno what she'd think exactly lol.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 You think I should have texted her Happy Bday? I was just afraid it she'd get the wrong idea and take it as "Lets go find each other!" She's really friendly so I don't think that would be the first thing to pop in her head, but I'm not a girl with a guy who I've never met online so I dunno what she'd think exactly lol. i would just think he was thoughtful:D
ladyjane83 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 If it was me I would have liked it...she would have been in good spirits anyway because it was her birthday so she probably wouldn't have taken it in the wrong way at all. If she really didn't want to meet up then she wouldnt have told you that she was going to be at those places. But dont dwell on it...just follow it up with a text or call asking if she had a good birthday x
Author xRJ85x Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 If it was me I would have liked it...she would have been in good spirits anyway because it was her birthday so she probably wouldn't have taken it in the wrong way at all. If she really didn't want to meet up then she wouldnt have told you that she was going to be at those places. But dont dwell on it...just follow it up with a text or call asking if she had a good birthday x We'll she didn't tell me she was gonna be at those places. I told her I was gonna be there, and she said those are the only two places she had been before and that there were options. I really wanted to say it, but I thought it would have been a little too "nice guyish" for someone she hasn't met yet. I'm trying not to dwell, its a little easier because I've been pretty nice to her in some of the emails I sent. And yea, I have something to talk about when I call her.
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