Author Samantha0905 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Please just put this marriage out of it's misery. This is just painful hearing about and it has to be 10 times more painful experiencing. Hi Woggle. Hope life is treating you well. Sorry it's painful hearing about my marriage. Lately (a few years) it hasn't been a bowl of cherries or anything, but who knows? Maybe we'll be joggling grandbabies on our knees one day here.
Woggle Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Hi Woggle. Hope life is treating you well. Sorry it's painful hearing about my marriage. Lately (a few years) it hasn't been a bowl of cherries or anything, but who knows? Maybe we'll be joggling grandbabies on our knees one day here. It is treating me well. It is painful because your marriage is dying a slow and painful death. Just pull the plug already and give your husband a fair and civil divorce.
Author Samantha0905 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 It is treating me well. It is painful because your marriage is dying a slow and painful death. Just pull the plug already and give your husband a fair and civil divorce. Well, if we do end up getting a divorce I would most certainly be fair and civil. I think he would handle it in the same way. It feels slow and painful to me also.
xxoo Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Most people that have been in a relationship as long as you, do not have great sex lives. Sure some do, but I am sure its a small percentage.. Ah, bullocks. Look, I'm not most people, and I've only been in my relationship 19 years....but the sex is great. And even if the attraction dies back (which has not been my experience, but I'll accept that we are very lucky in that respect), it would be something that declines over the years...or suddenly at some point....but it wouldn't be "no attraction since having sex on honeymoon". Yes, sam, you HAVE missed out--as has he! He has been faithful, and loves you, and has never experienced real passionate love in return. He deserves a shot at real passionate love. You can share grandbabies amicably from separate homes.
xxoo Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Sure...of course it can be. But does that mean you disagree with my point? Hell, after 20 years....50% are divorced! Yes, I disagree with your point, because Sam has never been sexually attracted to her H. What would you say if Sam came here at year 3...or 5....or 10, etc, and told the same story, instead of year 25? Yes, I understand some couples experience a drop in sex by year 25, but that isn't what happened here at all. It's been the same sad story for all 25 years. So how is it relevant that other couple in 25 year marriages are also having little sex? And anyway, after 20-30 years, the 50% still married is probably having some decent sex.
mem11363 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 PM me if you wish to discuss me/my situation. Glad to answer any questions you may have. And your surprisingly detailed description of libido below seems to have totally neglected the critical aspect of self pleasure. Mem, I know from reading some of your posts your wife had issues with low libido and it's been a big problem in your own marriage. Maybe because of spending the better part of a marriage with a low libido spouse, you believe that to be the "norm"? The answer to your question is rather obvious. Libido is a basic drive, like hunger. It's sexual appetite, rather than appetite for food. I didn't correlate loss of desire for a spouse with low libido. I correlated the apparent absence of a need to have sex with a low libido, because that's exactly what having a low libido means. A person who is very very hungry has a pressing need to eat. It's a basic drive. Just because the preferred food is steak doesn't mean the very hungry person won't eat hamburger if no steak is available. A person who is not very hungry will turn up their nose at the hamburger, will only eat prime steak, and if not very hungry, will not even bother to seek out the prime steak. A person who is starving will settle for less than hamburger, they will happily eat an old scrap of bread. The same applies to libido. A person with a very strong libido might prefer to only have sex with someone they are extremely attracted to, like a supermodel. But if a supermodel is not available, the strong sex drive still impels them to have sex with a lesser alternative. They won't turn their nose up at hamburger. For a person to not have sex for several months, contemplating not having sex possibly for several more months, or perhaps indefinitely, when a readily available partner exists, means by definition that that person does not have very much of a libido, or sex drive. If you don't eat for several months you can't be very hungry. You seem totally confused about what libido actually is. Only someone with a very low libido would have the luxury of choosing not to have sex for a prolonged period of months or even years, when a sex partner (the spouse) is available. If OP had a healthy libido, and assuming the AP was totally off limits, she would at least from time to time try to have sex with her husband, or at least contemplate it. In fact she'd be "climbing the walls." A high libido person would have sex with the undesirable spouse if no one else was available. It's that simple. They might not be happy about it, they might hate themselves in the morning, they might have to get drunk to go through with it, but their libido would impel them to do it. If someone has an active sex life with an affair partner then they can satisfy the libido without having sex with the spouse, then fine, they don't have a low libido. However if they're not having sex with anyone at all, for a prolonged period of time, even though the opportunity exists, then by definition, they must have a low libido. Low libido = low need for sex. High libido = high need for sex. People with a high need for sex attempt to have sex with available partners at a reasonably high frequency. People with a low libido, don't. Yes I agree there are many stories of women posted on LS both by the women themselves and their spouses descriptive of very low libido women. However these are also consistent with the women having affair partners of which the husbands may be unaware.
rewe4reel Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Sam, What is interesting is this..... Most people that have been in a relationship as long as you, do not have great sex lives. Sure some do, but I am sure its a small percentage. Well, "great" is a relative term. However, people who have been together for 20+ years, in their 40's and 50's, if they have retained any semblance of a sex drive, will at least have sex with each other once in a while. What does that mean? A couple of times a week? Maybe. Maybe more if they're lucky. At least two or three times a month? Definitely. That's where "libido" comes in. A healthy libido is what drives them to have sex with each other periodically, even if they're not particularly happy with each other or turned on by each other. Even when, for instance, the husband is in need of a shave and a shower. Even when the wife may be in a cr*ppy mood. What is "make up sex"? When a couple has a fight, it raises their mutual hormone level. This increases sex drive and hence libido. So people with a healthy libido level are more than capable of having sex even when they are angry with each other, because the primal need to have sex (libido) is not necessarily based on even liking each other. As the saying goes, sex is like pizza...even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. When both of the spouses are extremely physically attractive, as in this case, then the only possible explanation for no sex at all over several month stretches is low libido on the part of one or both of the partners. For sure....I too did not have a great sex relationship prior to her affair. It did not bother me that much though. I DO HAVE A STRONG SEX DRIVE.....but accepted my sex life. Did you tolerate no sex at all for several months at a stretch, at your behest (i.e. was the prolonged lack of sex due to your not wanting it, or your spouse not wanting it?) No, when you say "strong sex drive" it means you wanted to have sex, and tried to initiate it (even if rejected by your spouse). If you did not have sex for a prolonged period because you did not want to do it with your wife, but she wanted to do it with you, then yes, you would have to be considered as having a low libido. It was just a part of my life......just icing on a very large cake. I was happy with so many other things, so how could I want everything? This is just a way of rationalizing having an incompatibly higher sex drive than your wife had. Probably OP's husband is doing the very same thing as you were with your wife, or at least trying to. It seems that this lack of sexual interest is a big thing for you. I don't exactly know why. I got that you are not attracted to your husband....but I don't know exactly why...like what makes it so intolerable. The focus on OP's husband is completely misplaced. He's not responsible for his wife's low libido, just as you were not responsible for your own wife's low libido. Admittedly, there are things each spouse can do to make themselves more attractive to the other, and to stimulate the expression of an existing libido. But if the basic drive to have sex just isn't there, nothing's going to work very well. So maybe if the couple is only have sex 1x a week they can both make an effort to be more involved and increase the frequency. But unless both have the basic sex drive, they will not make such an effort, because they simply lack the desire to do so. Some woman will have sex with bad breathed, fat, smelly husbands....and don't complain as much as you. Precisely. These women are not having sex with fat smelly husbands because it's their preference to do so. They're doing it because their libido--basic sex drive--is high enough for them to overcome the esthetic flaws in their spouses. Again, I am SURE you may find a minority with a great sex relationship after decades together....but that is a very small minority. OP indicates in a recent post that apparently her husband actually walk out on her ten years into the marriage, which would have been, what, 10 or 15 years ago? Then they tried to spice it up with some mildly kinky stuff and it did nothing to increase her libido. So he did try, and it sounds like he tried as hard as he could. Who knows? Maybe when he walked out on her he had his own undisclosed affair and has been guilty about it all these years, so now it's just "her turn." Most likely he returned to the marriage and like you simply glossed over the fact that his wife had no desire for him, but was willing to make that compromise.
rewe4reel Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 (edited) PM me if you wish to discuss me/my situation. Glad to answer any questions you may have. And your surprisingly detailed description of libido below seems to have totally neglected the critical aspect of self pleasure. Not at all. Only a person with a very low libido would consider solitary masturbation over a prolonged period of time, when they have an available, willing, and attractive partner, an acceptable substitute for real sex with another person. Edited May 24, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Samantha0905 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Sam, are you in therapy? I can't remember. Yes, IC. My husband is seeing a separate church counselor. No marriage counseling yet. Thank you for asking. As for the no sex = low libido discussion above -- we did have sex for 26 years of marriage. It was present. I did not enjoy it. I did enjoy it with my XAP and wanted it quite often. I've been without sex for a couple of months or so and it doesn't mean I have a low libido because I'm not hopping the bones of someone to whom I'm not attracted. Ridiculous assumption. Using your argument, would you think my spouse has a low libido RU4R? Shouldn't he be demanding it based on your logic (lack of in reality)? Your line of reasoning makes zero sense. Why don't you get that just because someone is not attracted sexually to their spouse, it does not mean they have a low libido? It could, but I've told you repeatedly I enjoyed sex with my XAP -- wanted it often -- still wouldn't mind having great sex with him often, but came to terms with the fact I was being a horrible person having an affair -- so I'm not having the sex I would like to have. I'm also not having sex with someone to whom I feel no sexual attraction just for the sake of having sex. As my counselor pointed out, that would be forsaking an important part of myself. I'm not an animal. I can go without sex, although I would prefer not to. I can enjoy sex and have it often. Low libido is exactly what I outlined to you in an earlier definition. Once again, Low/No libido = isn't generally interested in sex. No attraction = interested in sex, just not with the particular person. Has it been a while since I had sex? Yes. Is that cool with me? No. Am I going to resolve the issue by heading out to have sex just for the sake of having sex with just anyone, or my XAP, etc.? No. Am I going to resolve the issue by having unsatisfactory sex with my spouse right now? No. None of that means I have a low libido. *sigh* Once again, it's an endless circle of arguments put forth by you because you won't drop a point or accept you are incorrect. I now cease to discuss my libido with you. I've made my point.
Author Samantha0905 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Not at all. Only a person with a very low libido would consider solitary masturbation over a prolonged period of time, when they have an available, willing, and attractive partner, an acceptable substitute for real sex with another person. LOL -- I have not had solitary masturbation over a long period of time. I had sex with my husband -- unsatisfactory and once a week on a schedule -- then I had fantastic and frequent sex with my XAP -- and now I'm going without. Not knocking masturbation though.
mem11363 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 R4, I will interact with you beyond this post provided you actually share some useful information about yourself. Age, gender, marital history/LTR history at a minimum. Libido is pure physiology. If someone self stimulates frequently then they have a decent libido. Full stop. If they do so despite having an available partner, THEN that strongly implies they prefer masturbation to sex with THAT PARTICULAR partner. Not at all. Only a person with a very low libido would consider solitary masturbation over a prolonged period of time, when they have an available, willing, and attractive partner, an acceptable substitute for real sex with another person.
BB07 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 R4, I will interact with you beyond this post provided you actually share some useful information about yourself. Age, gender, marital history/LTR history at a minimum. Libido is pure physiology. If someone self stimulates frequently then they have a decent libido. Full stop. If they do so despite having an available partner, THEN that strongly implies they prefer masturbation to sex with THAT PARTICULAR partner. I feel pretty confident that R4 is troggleputty in disguise. Too many similarities. TP never disclosed any personal information either. I think R4 has changed his style a bit probably trying to avoid being detected since TP has probably been banned from the site. I also think that TP has had other alias on the site, don't recall what the name was before TP but there are just so many similarities. Just an FYI....mem, if I were you I wouldn't engage with him/her. TP had a thing for Samantha, I would call it stalking her threads and offering up advice that was at times way out there. I do assume it's a male, but who the heck knows.
rewe4reel Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 As for the no sex = low libido discussion above -- we did have sex for 26 years of marriage. It was present. I did not enjoy it. This suggests when you were younger, in your 20's/30's/early 40's, you had a higher libido than you do now. This would be quite typical, we all "slow down" as we age. When you were younger, your higher libido level allowed you to have sex with your husband on a somewhat periodical basis, I think you said weekly(?)/Sat. nights. I did enjoy it with my XAP and wanted it quite often. This is also pretty standard. The excitement of being involved with a new person, in a new relationship, will increase the average person's libido level. This is true not just for affairs but for pretty much any new relationship. It's also pretty common for that heightened level of libido to drop off considerably once the "honeymoon period" of the new relationship wears off. You may not have been aware of this simply because it sounds like the only two really "serious" physical + emotional relationships you've had have been with your husband and your affair partner. If you do get divorced and find a new partner at some point, most likely the same thing will happen, because it happens to pretty much everyone. The first few months or maybe even years if you are lucky will be all about the passion and physical excitement. After that you'll be faced with the day to day maintenance aspects of any other relationship. I've been without sex for a couple of months or so and it doesn't mean I have a low libido because I'm not hopping the bones of someone to whom I'm not attracted. Ridiculous assumption. Maybe we just disagree on the semantics? What you keep referring to as your "lack of attraction" to your husband is the strongest indication of low libido. You've repeatedly made it clear that he is physically attractive, not just to you, but to others, and that you love him. Using your argument, would you think my spouse has a low libido RU4R? Shouldn't he be demanding it based on your logic (lack of in reality)? I thought he was demanding it, but you kept rejecting his overtures until he gave up trying. Are you saying your husband does not want to have sex with you any longer? Your line of reasoning makes zero sense. Why don't you get that just because someone is not attracted sexually to their spouse, it does not mean they have a low libido? Because if you had a high libido level you would find yourself sexually attracted to him on a primal level, even if on an intellectualized level, the idea of having sex with him was a turn off. That's what "libido" means. The primal sex drive with all the intellectualizing and rationalizing stripped away. It could, but I've told you repeatedly I enjoyed sex with my XAP -- wanted it often -- still wouldn't mind having great sex with him often, but came to terms with the fact I was being a horrible person having an affair -- so I'm not having the sex I would like to have. Your libido is not sufficiently high that you have an overwhelming drive to have sex with your XAP, despite the fact that you regarded it as a very exciting and satisfying experience. IOW you are simply not placing a very high priority on actually having sex with anyone right now. You are placing a high priority on the idea of having sex, and upon the expression of that idea, but not the actual having of it. It's the difference between talking about how great the food is in that new restaurant on the corner, and how much you'd like to eat there, and actually going and doing it. If you're hungry, you'll actually go to the restaurant. If you're not hungry, you'll reminisce about what a great restaurant it is. I'm also not having sex with someone to whom I feel no sexual attraction just for the sake of having sex. I understand that. As my counselor pointed out, that would be forsaking an important part of myself. Your counselor is opposed to sex for its own sake? I'm not. I think sex for its own sake is a very important way to express love to one's spouse. I'm not an animal. Well if your counselor said this to you he is flat out wrong, human beings are biological animals, with bigger brains than others. Sometimes the big brains get in the way of things though. I can go without sex, although I would prefer not to. I can enjoy sex and have it often. I know you can go without sex. That's the point. Low libido is exactly what I outlined to you in an earlier definition. Once again, Low/No libido = isn't generally interested in sex. No attraction = interested in sex, just not with the particular person. But you're not interested in sex enough to actually want to have it with anyone. At least not now; obviously that could change in the future. Has it been a while since I had sex? Yes. Is that cool with me? No. If it was that "uncool" not to have sex, then you'd be having it. I have had some times when I've been extremely mad at my wife due to some quarrel or other and have absolutely committed to NOT have sex with her for an indefinite period of time, as a very petty and immature way of trying to hurt her feelings. Like: "OK I'll show her. I will not initiate and will reject any overtures by her for an entire week or more until she begs me for it and profusely apologizes. I will humiliate her." LOL (at myself) I don't think I've ever lasted more than 48 hours trying to do this. It doesn't matter what the issue is, or how angry I might be, or what mood I'm in, or how attractive she's looking at the time, or what else is going on. It's not just "uncool" to be celibate; it's virtually impossible, if I have ready access to an available partner right next to me, to resist that "urge." My intellectual brain cannot overcome my primitive drive and say "oh she's eating crackers in bed again, how unattractive, we won't do anything tonight." Am I going to resolve the issue by heading out to have sex just for the sake of having sex with just anyone, or my XAP, etc.? No. Am I going to resolve the issue by having unsatisfactory sex with my spouse right now? No. None of that means I have a low libido. Your h isn't "just anyone" nor is your AP. No one said you should just go out looking for a ONS or anything like that. And by the way why do you think "unsatisfactory sex" is worse than "no sex"? *sigh* Once again, it's an endless circle of arguments put forth by you because you won't drop a point or accept you are incorrect. I now cease to discuss my libido with you. I've made my point. I think if you perceive "circularity" it's inherent in the way you describe your situation. Your husband is "attractive" but yet you're not "attracted" to him. You have a high libido but you don't express it by actually having sex. You love your husband but don't want to express it to him by being physically intimate with him (which would NOT be "sex for its own sake" but rather having unsatisfactory sex to show him how much you love him).
Author Samantha0905 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Ah, bullocks. Look, I'm not most people, and I've only been in my relationship 19 years....but the sex is great. And even if the attraction dies back (which has not been my experience, but I'll accept that we are very lucky in that respect), it would be something that declines over the years...or suddenly at some point....but it wouldn't be "no attraction since having sex on honeymoon". Yes, sam, you HAVE missed out--as has he! He has been faithful, and loves you, and has never experienced real passionate love in return. He deserves a shot at real passionate love. You can share grandbabies amicably from separate homes. Thanks. Maybe that's what will happen in the long run. What does your IC say about your situation? To acknowledge and stay true to my own feelings. To go to marriage counseling if we want to save the marriage. I feel pretty confident that R4 is troggleputty in disguise. Too many similarities. TP never disclosed any personal information either. I think R4 has changed his style a bit probably trying to avoid being detected since TP has probably been banned from the site. I also think that TP has had other alias on the site, don't recall what the name was before TP but there are just so many similarities. Just an FYI....mem, if I were you I wouldn't engage with him/her. TP had a thing for Samantha, I would call it stalking her threads and offering up advice that was at times way out there. I do assume it's a male, but who the heck knows. Yep. He's -- currently -- not being as verbally abusive, but definitely holding on to his point ad nauseam after a whole lot of illogical reasoning. Types long posts about it also. If someone (like me) explains to him rationally what is actually going on, he sticks to his assumed and/or totally made up reality for me and my life -- yet he doesn't know me. It's bizarre. For example, his insistence I have a low libido. And yes, it's a strange sort of internet stalking. Maybe he's bored and self-entertaining in his own special way. I'm assuming a male also.
rewe4reel Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 R4, I will interact with you beyond this post provided you actually share some useful information about yourself. Age, gender, marital history/LTR history at a minimum. You can respond or not, as you choose, but there's no requirement that I disclose personal information on a public message board as a prerequisite to posting. Libido is pure physiology. If someone self stimulates frequently then they have a decent libido. Full stop. If they do so despite having an available partner, THEN that strongly implies they prefer masturbation to sex with THAT PARTICULAR partner. Not exactly. Since the person in question CHOSE "that particular partner," it implies that they are sexually dysfunctional.
Author Samantha0905 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Today On a slightly different subject other than my counseling session from last week, my husband was going to his counselor today. I'm wondering where those sessions are going to go as time goes on? I have a feeling he is going to come out of this one insisting upon marriage counseling. The last session he had was the one where his counselor asked him to get me to tell him what he (my husband) needed to do in order for me to be physical with him again. I know he has to be able to speak up about it, but it just made me feel pressured. I'm not saying that's right -- I'm just saying it's how it made me feel. I also feel like since then he was wanting me to have sex with him somewhat so he could go back and say we were having sex again to his counselor. Does that sound crazy? He did kiss me that night a few times, but I had had a couple of glasses of wine (alcoholic -- I know ) and even being slightly loosened up, I wasn't feeling attracted or enjoying the kisses. I just don't know how to fix that. I actually didn't know my husband's counselor appointment was today. I'm out of town and called him around 10:30 this morning to say good morning. He sounded rushed and said he was running late for "his appointment" and I asked, "What appointment?" and he said, "My counselor appointment." He almost says it like he's whispering or not happy to have to say it. So, I suppose it's been over for a bit and I haven't heard from him. Maybe he will say what he wants to say later or maybe he's mad at me for not sharing my appointments with him and going to respond in kind.
califnan Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I'm not buying the low libido either .. I think there is something else going on emotionally .. Could be anger, frustration, pride - keeping you from wishing to fulfill your needs with your husband.. I would think the counselor should have unveiled it by now.
turnera Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 To acknowledge and stay true to my own feelings. To go to marriage counseling if we want to save the marriage. I was kind of more interested in how he/she feels about your disconnect, your dissociation...the way you seem to just live on the sidelines of this life you're in (based on how you write here).
Author Samantha0905 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 I'm not buying the low libido either .. I think there is something else going on emotionally .. Could be anger, frustration, pride - keeping you from wishing to fulfill your needs with your husband.. I would think the counselor should have unveiled it by now. The counselor has never once intimated I could possibly be low libido. He think the the lack of sexual attraction on the honeymoon could possibly be the inexperienced nature of both of us or the fact I'm simply not attracted. He also thinks attraction failed to develop in a normal adult relationship sort of way because of the early on (first 10 years especially) oppression by my spouse's very conservative parents and my spouse himself. He, of course, feels my lack of being able to voice that is something within me. He's been working hard on getting me to understand and act on my own feelings and to voice them. He calls it finding my own voice. I was kind of more interested in how he/she feels about your disconnect, your dissociation...the way you seem to just live on the sidelines of this life you're in (based on how you write here). He thinks it's due to the things I've listed above, plus the fact I went ahead and had sex for so many years when I didn't really enjoy it or want to be there. And the totally on the sidelines thing has only occurred since I moved out last summer. It's not like it's been there the entire time. So, that's 25 to 26 years of at least a more normal seeming relationship/marriage/parenthood and the last year has been pretty dysfuncitonal all the way around. For what it's worth, my husband's counselor also tells him he throws up big walls when communicating and if he communicates with me the way he's communicating with him, it's no wonder we're having issues.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Mem, A high libido person would have sex with the undesirable spouse if no one else was available. It's that simple. They might not be happy about it, they might hate themselves in the morning, they might have to get drunk to go through with it, but their libido would impel them to do it. If someone has an active sex life with an affair partner then they can satisfy the libido without having sex with the spouse, then fine, they don't have a low libido. However if they're not having sex with anyone at all, for a prolonged period of time, even though the opportunity exists, then by definition, they must have a low libido. Low libido = low need for sex. High libido = high need for sex. People with a high need for sex attempt to have sex with available partners at a reasonably high frequency. People with a low libido, don't. Yes I agree there are many stories of women posted on LS both by the women themselves and their spouses descriptive of very low libido women. However these are also consistent with the women having affair partners of which the husbands may be unaware. I don't think so, dude. Let's see ... using your analogy with food / hunger, a person with a big appetite for food but who was a diabetic would still eat a platter of cupcakes and risk death if no appropriate food was available. Or, less dramatic, a person with a big appetite who, by choice, is on a low carb diet will eat a loaf of bread if no appropriate food is available. Or the hungry vegetarian will eat a chicken. No. We humans have a lot of things playing upon our appetites at all times. Some of them we are conscious of, and some we are not. Regarding sex, using your logic, a high libido person will have sex with some random stranger who comes onto him / her if their spouse is away. No. In fact, plenty of "high libido" people don't have sex with available people just because of different forces at play upon their sexuality, such as ethics, expectations of "love," etc. There are many reasons NOT to have sex with an individual person, regardless of one's own libido. And most of them have NOTHING to do with the one who's not having sex having an extramarital affair. Samantha, I completely understand where you are and my heart goes out to you.
turnera Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 And the totally on the sidelines thing has only occurred since I moved out last summer. It's not like it's been there the entire time. So, that's 25 to 26 years of at least a more normal seeming relationship/marriage/parenthood and the last year has been pretty dysfuncitonal all the way around. When did OM show up? I forget.
Author Samantha0905 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 When did OM show up? I forget. I met him in February of 2009 and began a physical relationship in June 2009....
Recommended Posts