donnamaybe Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 The waiting game you think women HAVE to go through is not a have to thing. It is a self-imposed thing and one I paid no attention to when I was single. And since men are usually so easy, I always got who I wanted rather than suffer through with guys I felt only lukewarm about till one I liked came around. I believe in working smart - not hard. Ditto, baby!
Engadget Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Ditto, baby! Question is for you and sally, what would you do if you find a guy attractive, and he refuses to make a move because he's not easy, even if you give him all the signs? Then what? I'm asking because I'm genuinely curious for my own situation.
janie423 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 (edited) Please go back through his posts and show us where his posts show us anything along the lines of "men have it better then women sometimes and women have it better then men sometimes". This guy is on a mission to put women down as second class. Which has more to do with his own personal insecurities and troubled issues. agree with this . . . that was his mission, to berate women . . . note how he states at the end of the original post "that other gender...UGH" . . . clearly a put-down. then when I pointed out this tendency to him, he began to berate me in many ways. he is competing with women, poor thing, and this is not compatible with trying to date them . . . his premises are absurd as well . . . and many women approach, but they do not ask men out . . . notice how he used the expression "ball and chain" to describe his friends wife in the original post . . . Edited May 20, 2010 by janie423
janie423 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 But he is sort of right, men can get sex way easier if they set their mind to it than women can find love and a rel. yes, they can get sex easily, they can also hang out in gutters and panhandle easier than I can purchase a new BMW . . . these are apples and oranges . . . and, for most women, there are men waiting in the wings in love with them . . . they choose not to accept them . . . but also, he is talking about "dating", and then he digresses into talking about purchasing sex . . . which has nothing to do with "dating", his original premise . . .
Jersey Shortie Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Twenty-Ten, I fail to see what your qoute does to disprove my comments. And no, not every thread needs to be filled with drama but the thread is for discussion. Can't handle disagreements in the discussion, why be here? I have had time to go through this thread and here are the comments made by the OP, some made repeatidly. Lets dissect! Hang-tight with me because I know this is long. St.Nick: All day long I've been hugging myself and doing cartwheels because being a man is the greatest thing ever! What guy actually says that stuff? My guess is he is a guy that's had a hard time with women and is trying to present a face on the board that is umarked by reality. St.Nick ..my sister-in-law's friend only talked to 3 guys... I smiled and said to my bro, "Looks like I came out on top". St.Nick ....and makes his probability of finding the woman he wants much better than a woman. St.Nick ..men can have their desires fulfilled much easier than women. Now if this was true no man would be here! Come on now. It's tough for all of us. All these comments are about how, in his minds eye, men come out on top over women. Oh and this comment..total Troll. I can't believe anyone didn't point it before!: .... and another was one of my favorite pornstars Mylie Moore. I contacted Mylie via backpage.com cuz I'm going to be visiting the South this summer. Even though her page said $150 for half an hour of sex, she offered me $125 for half an hour. Sweet. All I have to buy one of her porn flicks along with it and it's a done deal. St.Nick: Dating is better for men.... Dating is worse for women.... Another all inclusive term meant to present an unreality to make himself and other men struggling in dating to feel better. There are aspects of dating that ARE better for men. And there are aspects of dating that ARE better for women. The key is that you don't take advantage of the other gender just to get what *you* want. Not brag about how you can f*ck and ch*ck them and how that makes you a man. St. Nick: It's great to realize that dating is way better for men. I can't stop hugging myself. I LOVE MY GENDER! THANK GOD I WAS BORN A MAN (.......and I wasn't born in that other gender....ugh! (just joking))!!! This is both transparent and shows his real opinions of women. It's ironic that he feels so blessed that he wasn't born a woman but there is still a part of him that needs to feel sexually accepted by women. Otherwise, he would just stick with paying for sex, looking at porn or raping women. So he thinks it's better to be a man yet he still wants and desires female acceptance. It's very telling. St.Nick: he achieves his goal out of the relationship easier and quicker than you (this was directed to a female) achieve your goal. Yet another comment to show that he is in competition with women. He doesn't care about real success for men and women. He repeatidly focuses on women being the losers in any situation. St.Nick: And besides, the majority of women who only want sex are the desperate cougars in bars and on cougar cruises trying to get quick sex from young men. Many of them are not sexy. Those women really have to pay to get men to have sex with them. Lets disregard for a moment how he puts down older women here, even though once again making the women the loser. Notice here how the OP quickly turns the tables about paying for sex. He seems to think if a man has to resort to paying for sex, that's okay. But if a woman paid for it, that's pathetic. What he fails to acknowledge is that anyone paying for sex is paying for sex because they have to, for whatever reason. St.Nick As women get older, they lose their beauty, and fewer men want sex with them, and even fewer want a LTR. Even men their own age are going after younger women. They did a report about this in Australia about how older single women are urged to become lesbians rather than stay lonely... St.Nick It doesn't matter if older women go for younger men. Most younger men don't want an older woman, unless she's a smoking hot MILF. And even then it's usually just a quick fling. While older men can get sexual fulfillment and LTR a lot easier. Several times St.Nick tries to paint a picture that women are always the losers. Why? Because he clearly has major issues with women. Not because his views are based on reality. St.Nick Congratulations for actuallydropping some knowledge. Geared to a female poster, rather condesending don’t you think? St.Nick I'm not trying to hate on women. Sure he is. Look at these comments made throughout the thread. St.Nick Are you gonna disagree with me that most men want sex with women as their goal, and most women want LTR from men as their goal? Totally disagree. And here is why. I have gone out with MANY types of men. I didn’t want all them in my life long term but I had fun with them in the short term. Some men I had sexual relationships with. And they were fun! When we broke up (usually by me breaking up with him) I was perfectly ready to move on. While women want long term relationships, that doesn't mean we want a LTR with *you* just because your a man.
janie423 Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Thank you. This is what I've been trying to tell all these whiners. Seriously! You don't know me. You have no right to get personal. NONE! Get off the subject of my character and stay on topic. If you keep taking personal shots you will be reported. he also displayed a bullying nature . . .
Jersey Shortie Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Yeah, he can't hack the critism while he dishes it out.
kdark Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Much of ones success in the dating game has to do with how desireable you are to the opposite sex. Beautiful women get approached all the time, no doubt, and have because of that they have many options. But if a handsome guy learns how to approach and be charismatic, he can have many options as well, whether it's sex or a relationship. But I've noticed that most male problems with dating stem from not having any options, while female dating problems stem from having bad options. Just look in the transitioning section of this site. All the males are average frustrated chumps who can't meet girls, and the females are always trying to interpret whether a guy is approaching her or not.
donnamaybe Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Question is for you and sally, what would you do if you find a guy attractive, and he refuses to make a move because he's not easy, even if you give him all the signs? Then what? I'm asking because I'm genuinely curious for my own situation. I would somehow find a way to engage him in conversation; "feel him out" if you know what I mean. I'm good at conversation and am pretty quick witted, so small talk usually goes well for me. If it's obvious he's just not interested, fine. We can't all like the same types of people. If he displays some interest, I then begin to ask him to tell me about himself. I would normally ask about what he likes to do outside of work AND about work (but I recently participated in a thread here where some guys said that meant an obvious interest in his wallet which is SO not true for me ). Does he like animals? What kind of music? If we hit it off, and he doesn't ask me out first, I'll suggest something very low key like coffee or a drink at my favorite spot.
sally4sara Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Question is for you and sally, what would you do if you find a guy attractive, and he refuses to make a move because he's not easy, even if you give him all the signs? Then what? I'm asking because I'm genuinely curious for my own situation. As Donna says, strike up conversation. Get him talking. Its really the only way for me to figure out if he is just cute or if he is cute and has something going on in his head. Cute but dumb is worse than decent looking and smart. The worst is really cute, not very bright, and arrogant. Gotta get him talking to see what he is about. If I'd found the elements I like but couldn't get any reciprocity going -I'd reevaluate how much I like him; there are always others. I've never been that sprung over a guy when I'm first getting to know him. With my husband, I'd known him about a year as a casual friend. I asked him out in mild interest with no real intent. We hung out the night before in a group and I asked him if he wanted to go to a festival the next day with me. Hung out all day; great conversation. He offered a movie he had at his home so we stopped and got some ciders. At this point, he had not given any obvious indication of interest beyond some minor things and that he seemed content to spend hours and hours with me. We hung out, watched the movie and got to playfully arguing some topic or another. He said "arg! I think you're just arguing your point to frustrate me!" I said "You could always take me upstairs and change the subject :cool:". We've been together ever since.
Engadget Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 As Donna says, strike up conversation. Get him talking. Its really the only way for me to figure out if he is just cute or if he is cute and has something going on in his head. Cute but dumb is worse than decent looking and smart. The worst is really cute, not very bright, and arrogant. Gotta get him talking to see what he is about. If I'd found the elements I like but couldn't get any reciprocity going -I'd reevaluate how much I like him; there are always others. I've never been that sprung over a guy when I'm first getting to know him. With my husband, I'd known him about a year as a casual friend. I asked him out in mild interest with no real intent. We hung out the night before in a group and I asked him if he wanted to go to a festival the next day with me. Hung out all day; great conversation. He offered a movie he had at his home so we stopped and got some ciders. At this point, he had not given any obvious indication of interest beyond some minor things and that he seemed content to spend hours and hours with me. We hung out, watched the movie and got to playfully arguing some topic or another. He said "arg! I think you're just arguing your point to frustrate me!" I said "You could always take me upstairs and change the subject :cool:". We've been together ever since. Sounds like what the girl I've been seeing did. I found her attractive but wasn't interested at a deeper level until we spent a whole day, just me and her and talked and I got to know her better. Hell she even tossed me a little book her friends got her on "How to give a mind blowing BJ"
FoxMulder Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 All day long I've been hugging myself and doing cartwheels because being a man is the greatest thing ever! Last night I went to a local bar with my bro, his ball and chain, and her best friend. I had been in a crappy mood all day. So my bro said, "Try to lighten up. Quit sulking. I don't want your downer mood ruining our fun". So I thought, "Okay. I'll lighten up. Who gives a crap? As soon as I get in this bar, I'm gonna flirt with every chick I see." And that's what I did. There were around 30 people in the bar, half of them female. Disregarding sexual attraction, I flirted with all the females in the bar. I talked to about 15 women. Out of that number I scored 4 numbers and gave my number to another 4 women. After we left the bar I learned my sister-in-law's friend only talked to 3 guys, and took down the number of only one. I smiled and said to my bro, "Looks like I came out on top". He smiled back at me and whispered some of the best advice a man can give another man about dating, "A man can meet every woman since he’s expected to approach. A woman only has the choice of the men who approach her.” And just like that I felt better about dating. Since women wait to approach, they only have the option of the men who approach them. For many women, that number is significantly small. Even the hottest woman can only have a small number of men approaching her. But for the average guy, he has the choice of every woman he sees since being the approacher puts him at a significantly higher advantage, increases his options, and makes his probability of finding the woman he wants much better than a woman. But wait there's more. Most people would agree that generally speaking, men are mainly looking for sex from women (at least that's what I want), and women are mainly looking for long-term, committed relationships. I believe more people would agree that sex is easier to get than long-term commitment. And since that's the case, men can have their desires fulfilled much easier than women. Even if a guy can't get a date, there are tons of options where he can get sex: 1. Pornography. 2. Street prostitution. 3. Brothels. 4. Sex tourism. 5. Mail order brides. 6. Dating sites. 7. Craigslist (and similar sites). 8. Escort services. And so much more. Except for mail order brides, I'm thinking about trying all those things. After getting home from the bar, I decided to contact some chicks via craigslist and sites like it. This afternoon two of them contacted me back. One was a 35 year old Colombian woman in Chicago who offered me an "erotic massage", and another was one of my favorite pornstars Mylie Moore. I contacted Mylie via backpage.com cuz I'm going to be visiting the South this summer. Even though her page said $150 for half an hour of sex, she offered me $125 for half an hour. Sweet. All I have to buy one of her porn flicks along with it and it's a done deal. I'm also thinking about going to some brothels, like Wild Horse Resort and Spa in Reno, NV, or Atlantis in Frankfurt, Germany. Hell, you only live once. I wanna see the inside of a brothel before I die. In any case, any guy who whines and complains that dating sucks for men obviously hasn't researched his options. Dating is better for men because we approach, and we mainly want sex, and we're not too picky on the female. Dating is worse for women because they only have the choice of the men who approach, mainly want long-term commitment (and even then that's up to the man), and are endlessly picky about the men they date. It's great to realize that dating is way better for men. I can't stop hugging myself. I LOVE MY GENDER! THANK GOD I WAS BORN A MAN (.......and I wasn't born in that other gender....ugh! (just joking))!!! Not all men like to do the approaching and take all the initiatives and do all the work all the time...
Twenty-ten Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Not all men like to do the approaching and take all the initiatives and do all the work all the time... I wouldn't feel it's an overstatement to say that most men probably "don't like it" but they know better and just do it because otherwise they know they well get nowhere with women.
FoxMulder Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 I wouldn't feel it's an overstatement to say that most men probably "don't like it" but they know better and just do it because otherwise they know they well get nowhere with women. Yep, thats why I think women have it WAY easier... Women never have to worry about getting rejected, women never have to put in any "effort" in a relationship.... Men always have to do all the work.
Twenty-ten Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 Yep, thats why I think women have it WAY easier... Women never have to worry about getting rejected, women never have to put in any "effort" in a relationship.... Men always have to do all the work. I agree we do have it easier, but easier is not necessarily "better" Men on the other hand have more options if they want to because they are the ones doing all the work. that is what the OP was trying to say And this "women don't have to put any effort in a relationship" NO WAY, that I do not agree with. We have to work just as hard at the relationship or else it fails. It takes two to make or break it.
FoxMulder Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 I agree we do have it easier, but easier is not necessarily "better" Men on the other hand have more options if they want to because they are the ones doing all the work. that is what the OP was trying to say And this "women don't have to put any effort in a relationship" NO WAY, that I do not agree with. We have to work just as hard at the relationship or else it fails. It takes two to make or break it. You women NEVER take any initiatives at all. So what work are you actually talking about? Women never do anything in a relationship they just let the man do everything and initiate everything for them... Women don't want the man to feel loved, women only want the man to make them feel loved.
Twenty-ten Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 You women NEVER take any initiatives at all. So what work are you actually talking about? Women never do anything in a relationship they just let the man do everything and initiate everything for them... Women don't want the man to feel loved, women only want the man to make them feel loved. Oh ok you are "one of those" I can't have this conversation with you because it will be a long useless battle trying to convey to you that women are not the enemy. I simply don't have the energy to pitch you on the idea that women are people, not some negative stereotype that has been formed on your preconceived notions, or remote existential experiences.
electricity Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 (edited) You women NEVER take any initiatives at all. So what work are you actually talking about? Women never do anything in a relationship they just let the man do everything and initiate everything for them... Women don't want the man to feel loved, women only want the man to make them feel loved. Bitter much? I doubt you've dated a statistically significant number of women to be able to say anything about women's behavior in such absolute terms. It takes two people to make a relationship successful; if your ex's expected you to do all the work, that's probably why you're no longer in a relationship with them and why the relationship wasn't successful. Edited May 21, 2010 by electricity
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