xtine21 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 So I met my man about 8 months ago and we dated till this april. So we have had our disagreements but are overall relationship seemed like we were real happy. Till one day he called and ended things out of the blue with no warning at all. He told me he needed space because he has some personal things going on right now and he doesn't feel its fair for him to string me along when he is confused. He told me he hadn't been thinking about this no more than 2 days so it wasn't like it has been on his mind for weeks. Atleast thats what he says. Ok so im confused because the past weekes before our breakup he had been telling me how happy he was with me and he was falling for me and im a great girl. One night when he had one too many drinks he told me he loved me and he was scared to tell me because of what I might say back.. he was meaning I might not say it back and he didnt want to be rejected. This is the first he has ever done this too and i've seen him drunk many times. Of course he didnt remember in the morning but I didnt want to bring it up. I wasnt ready for that word yet and I rather him say it when he was sober. So that really confuses me... I dont get why he would tell me all that and still be sleeping with me and inviting me to family and friend events if he was just going to break it off out of the blue. Now im not one to chase a guy who doesnt want to love me anymore especially if it was that easy to cut me loose in his life. So the first month of breaking up we talked on and off and he would tell me he missed me and misses me being around but he still needs space. He even told me this was probably the worst mistake he may have made and he probablly lost the "great girl" every man dreams of. Once I replied back (not chasing him or screaming I missed him too) he than started acting like he didnt care anymore or he was just being nice. The thing that also confuses me is that he STILL HAS PICTURES OF US UP ALL OVER HIS FACEBOOK and there is really no sign of him dating or already having a new girlfriend. His actions also dont say that either. I can never tell when he is being real with his feeling, being fake or just covering them up. It was starting to get to hard to talk to him because I miss him so much. Yea we had our differences but we had a very strong connection and I know he felt it too. So I decided to have no more contact with him. I dont have facebook or myspace or twitter so the only way to get ahold of me or keep tabs on me is threw email or phone. But its like once I give him his space and fully disconnect he will still email me asking how im doing or that he will talk to me later and he keeps using my full name when ever he writes to me. I used to write him back but I decided no more. Its been a week since we talked and he hit me up yesterday asking how I was and I still havent replied back. I care about him and miss him so much. I want it to work but im not going to chase someone who is playing games or using me till he finds somethin better. I dont know how to read him or what to do with him. If he truly misses me or if hes just saying that. What should I do with my situation? Where do I go from here. I want things to work out but hes so wishy washy I dont know what to do?? Can anyone help me or been threw this both ways. I dont understand why he needed space all of the sudden when he led it on like we were happy and than also why is he still trying to keep contact when he was the one who left me??? Ive told him many times I cant be friends with him right now so he kows that. Will no contact do anything? What should I do? I want to be strong and not make any mistake or wanna regret somethin later on... PLEASE HELP SO CONFUSED!!!
dan_the_man Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 No contact will help you get over him and move on. Never use NC in hopes of getting someone back.
Odyssey Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Of course no contact will make you miss each other, when you've been together for some time. He doesn't sound like he knows what he wants...got his reasons for breaking up though. Needing space is never a reason to break up with someone you love anyways. Needing space is a process to find a reason because there is doubt. But one thing is for sure, he doesn't want you enough to continue the relationship. Why wait around for someone who's still on the fence? Keeping in touch with each other and being friends sounds great at first, but the pain and confusion that follows are much worst i'm sure you know. He said that it isn't fair to string you along when he's confused, but that is exactly what he is doing right now! Look OP, personally i would move on with my life...i won't lie to you, this emotional roller coaster will be so hard, but no contact will speed up the healing process. If he comes back - awesome! If not, you've moved on.
drewdude Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 hello xtine. I am in nearly the EXACT same boat you are in...only that i'm the guy and shes the one who wanted time to herself/needed to get her life together/wasnt ready for a relationship after 6 months of being together. During the first few months she would tell me as your ex bf told you too..How great of a boyfriend I was, how she felt very lucky to have me, how she felt she didnt deserve me/use to being treated badly by past bfs and she actually fell in love with me...then soon after she started to seem kind of distant but I assumed it was college since she has been very busy...but until last week, she broke it off for the reasons above. Same stuff too, prior to breaking up, she still had me come over every other night(she lived with her family), would sleep/cuddle with me, would say she loved/missed me and invited me to friend functions a little before breaking it off. I have not heard a word from her since nor do I intend to contact her(its been hard and a week of NC but i'm not going to give in). The best thing you can do as I am doing at the moment, is strict NC. Its one hell of a burden but you gotta think about yourself too, remember that he left you and wasnt strong enough to stay in a relationship with you. Will he come back? I cant say, it all depends on the person. But it is a very helpful tool to get over someone if they don't, ive used it in the past and it always worked(and even brought most back, but thats another story). Take care and if you ever wanna talk privately about this since it mirrors my situation, hit me up...bye
Recommended Posts