simplythebest Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I just found out yesterday at the doctor's office. I'm not happy. I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant, in love. I really do love him, but I am still not happy. We are getting married because his insurance deductible is significantly lower than mine. We told his insurance that we are common law married, they need more proof. Yesterday, he said that tomorrow we would go " sign the paper to send to the insurance company" Tomorrow I am leaving work earlyand we are going to the county clerk's office to sign a Declaration of Common Law Marriage and then we are married, no guests, no pictures, no proposal ... nothing. Noboody else knows, not even my parents. I am so sad!!!
Mimolicious Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Oh man I'm so sorry that you are not happy when it's supposed to be one of the happiest day of your life. ((HUG)) I wish you well and that your baby brings you a lot of joy!
PrettyinInk Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 you can do all that later you don't want to be pregnant during your wedding! everyone signs the papers before the ceremony, just think of it like that, and one day, when you both are ready, you can plan your dream wedding
Star Gazer Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Aww... you can do "the wedding business" later! You really can!
marsle85 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 yeahh, this is the little stuff. This is a technicality. You want the real thing, and you need to tell your new husband that he's not not your hubby until he does it right. And then waiiiiiiiit:love:
Lakeside_runner Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I just found out yesterday at the doctor's office. I'm not happy. I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant, in love. I really do love him, but I am still not happy. OK... please explain the bolded part to me... Cheer up! Life writes so many different scenarios. Congratulations on having a responsible mate who seems to stand up to the challenge!!!
Author simplythebest Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 Sorry if it wasn't clear... I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant and getting married tomorrow. Yesterday when I went for my 5 month check-up I found out that my deductible was really high. My bf's insurance is way better and the only way for me to get on his insurance is by getting married. I guess my issue with this whole thing is I don't want to be "common law married" I want to be his wife, but can we at least do a regular ceremony? Maybe I'm over reacting, but can I at least fix my hair and take a picture? The way he made it sound " we'll go to court, sign the paper and mail it to my insurance" made it sound like we were signing up for a coupon, instead of getting married
Lakeside_runner Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Yeah, that makes more sense... I know where you're coming from. We all do have a certain mental picture of this unique day in our mind, we think what planning it will take to make it special and memorable forever. I can only imagine how hard it is to have been taken away all of this because of the clash with financial reality. I am really sorry :(
Author simplythebest Posted May 21, 2010 Author Posted May 21, 2010 So, we signed the paperwork yesterday. He didn't even say anything about it. He treated it like it was just any another thing. It was worthless, so disappointing. I waited all day to see if he would say something, but he never did. I cried for hours last night. I love him, but I can't do this anymore. He is nice, but I am tired of being treated like I am his roommate. I can't even talk to him about it, because he won't listen. I have no one to talk to, I don't want to tell my friends and family bc I want them to think I'm happy, but it is really killing me. You guys are all I have, please help...
legallyblonde289 Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 wow have you told him how you feel? maybe he doesnt understand how big of a deal this is or maybe he also wants to plan a "real" wedding but just hasnt communicated this to you yet
summerl0vesyou Posted May 21, 2010 Posted May 21, 2010 omg im so sorry =/ thats rough. i think you need to tell him how you feel. that makes me sad for you, really.. no insurance benefit is ever worth the way that you're feeling now but i know that its already done and im sure you want him to stay in the baby's life so a harsh move may not be the best. you could always have a ceremony later. why is he so secretive about this? Thats my concern here, he doesnt want anyone to know?
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