Kamille Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Before I left to move to Europe, bf surprised me with a promise ring. It was the sweetest thing ever. (Minor) problem is: I don't know what finger to put it on. Now that I'm in Europe, I want people to know I'm taken. At the same time, people I work with here are connected to people I work with in Canada and I wouldn't want word to get around that I'm engaged (when I'm not...) So what is the proper promise ring etiquette? How should it be worn? Does anyone know?
Green Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 You can wear it on what ever figner you want. My gf wears it on her wedding ring finger.
Eeyore79 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 A promise ring? What promise is he making? If he's promising to stay faithful, I don't know why he didn't just give you an engagement ring Can someone please enlighten me as to the purpose of a promise ring? Is it just to shut girls up, because they want some sort of "commitment" and the guy isn't prepared to marry them?
phineas Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 All you need to know about a promise ring is not to ever get one or accept one. They mean nothing.
Jesper Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 To answer the question you asked, I'm not positive of the proper etiquette, but probably the left ring finger or the right ring finger would be appropriate. I would wear it on my right hand, unless there was an understanding that within a specific and explicit time frame an engagement ring was coming down the line; then I might wear it on my left ring finger. Claddaugh rings, which are kind of commitment rings essentially, are worn on the right hand if you're dating someone; the left if you're engaged or married. Just something to consider.
Author Kamille Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 Wow, well, for those who want to know: as corny as it sounds, I loved the gesture. It's perfect. BF knows me well and he knows how to escalate the commitment a little at a time. I'm in no rush to get engaged and he knows this. The ring is a vow that we will make it through our current long distance situation. Neither of us thinks it makes sense to get engaged before we have firm plans to live in the same town. Hence, promise ring. Thanks Green and Jesper... I still don't know what finger to put it on! I think I will stick to the right hand, so as to avoid any confusion. Plus, this way, I'll be looking forward to the "upgrade".
Star Gazer Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Well, K... You're supposed to wear it on your left hand, where an engagement or wedding ring would be. That's where you wear rings symbolizing commitment. A ring on the right hand, and not on the left, means you're available. Same with flowers in your hair: left side means committed, right side means available. It's my understanding that the side-designation is based on the side closest to your heart...
Author Kamille Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 Well, K... You're supposed to wear it on your left hand, where an engagement or wedding ring would be. That's where you wear rings symbolizing commitment. A ring on the right hand, and not on the left, means you're available. Same with flowers in your hair: left side means committed, right side means available. It's my understanding that the side-designation is based on the side closest to your heart... Really??? To be honest, I love it best on the left hand (my ring finger), because it does seem to really mean commitment. BF and I talked about the hand thing, but neither of us really knew the etiquette. I think I'll bring it up again at our next chat. I read your post and immediately switched it to my left hand. Proof that I want to wear it on the left hand.
Star Gazer Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Really??? To be honest, I love it best on the left hand (my ring finger), because it does seem to really mean commitment. BF and I talked about the hand thing, but neither of us really knew the etiquette. I think I'll bring it up again at our next chat. I read your post and immediately switched it to my left hand. Proof that I want to wear it on the left hand. Think of it this way: An engagement ring is still an "upgrade," just as a wedding band is an "upgrade" from an engagement ring.
torranceshipman Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 A promise ring? What promise is he making? If he's promising to stay faithful, I don't know why he didn't just give you an engagement ring Can someone please enlighten me as to the purpose of a promise ring? Is it just to shut girls up, because they want some sort of "commitment" and the guy isn't prepared to marry them? There is a HUGE difference! One is a lovely, sweet gesture to a girlfriend - and the other is a lifetime commitment to the person that you know you want to have kids with and be with until you die. Very different and not to be taken lightly!
primer Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I wear my "promise ring" on my left hand. It is a symbol of my BF's love for me. People who see it know I am in a serious relationship. I am proud of the ring and I love it. We plan on getting married some day, but neither one of us is in a hurry. We don't want children. We are each financially independent and own our homes. There are decisions to be made, a house to be sold, etc. For the record, we are both 40 years old.
make me believe Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I don't think there's "proper promise ring etiquette" because promise rings aren't really that common.. I always thought they were more of a high school thing. But why do you need the ring to let people know that you're taken? If some guy tries to flirt with you or hit on you, just tell him you have a boyfriend at home. I think it's pretty ridiculous to wear it where an engagement or wedding ring would go. Almost like you're pretending to be engaged. Believe me, if you wear it on your left hand you will have A LOT of explaining to do. People will automatically assume you're engaged, and personally I'd feel a little silly explaining that it's just a promise ring.
Author Kamille Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 I wear my "promise ring" on my left hand. It is a symbol of my BF's love for me. People who see it know I am in a serious relationship. I am proud of the ring and I love it. We plan on getting married some day, but neither one of us is in a hurry. We don't want children. We are each financially independent and own our homes. There are decisions to be made, a house to be sold, etc. For the record, we are both 40 years old. Exactly. The promise ring made sense to us, given where we are in our lives right now and what we want. It might not be for everyone - but to us it's a symbol of what we mean to each other and what we want to build together. It does mean we want to get engaged and married, but later, when it makes sense and when we have time to dedicate to it (and when we live in the same town again). But why do you need the ring to let people know that you're taken? If some guy tries to flirt with you or hit on you, just tell him you have a boyfriend at home. I think it's pretty ridiculous to wear it where an engagement or wedding ring would go. Almost like you're pretending to be engaged. Believe me, if you wear it on your left hand you will have A LOT of explaining to do. People will automatically assume you're engaged, and personally I'd feel a little silly explaining that it's just a promise ring. I just moved to a new country, one where social circles seem to be really mixed. Right now, I'm meeting a lot of people - on average 10-15 people a day, both through work, my new living accommodations and just walking around the city (people are incredibly friendly here). I don't know the cultural moors so much, so often I can't really tell if a guy is flirting with me or just being friendly. I would feel silly telling every guy that spoke to me that I have a boyfriend back home. I do bring him up when it's appropriate, but I'm 30 something - it would seem high school-ish to constantly be bringing him up. If I were still in my hometown, I likely wouldn't wear it on my left hand - precisely because it would create confusion and people would ask questions. Even then though, it's not like the explanation would be mortifying. I love the ring, I love what it means, I'm quite comfortable with it being a promise ring and not an engagement ring. Besides, in this town where I hardly know anyone - nobody's asked me questions about the ring. So far I've been switching it from hand to hand to see if there would be any reactions. To be honest, so far, men seem quite oblivious to it (when it's on my left ring finger). So I guess the decision is still mine and still about what it means to me.
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