Tree Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I just don't know. I consider myself to have an excellent sense of humor. Love to laugh. Love comedies. A guy can totally get me to fall for him if he has a great sense of humor. The guy I'm currently seeing...we have been on 3 dates. He is wonderful in many ways. He is definitely what I'm looking for in many ways. BUT the humor is a huge hang-up for me. If I had to choose a way to describe it, it'd be frat humor. I'm not completely opposed to frat humor. I do think it's funny occasionally. But there are certain things that I don't really find all that funny (like most bathroom humor). I really don't have a problem with sex jokes in general. It's really hard to put my finger on this one. To give maybe an idea, I do like some inappropriate movies with "frat humor." I can think of several SNL-alumni-starring movies that I really like. But I can say for sure that there are movies that just REALLY bug me or don't "do it" for me. Dumb and Dumber is one. Something About Mary. These are good examples. I can't even necessarily peg what makes one movie good to me and one horrible. I am thinking possibly the ones that feel like they're trying too hard or it's this CONSTANT barrage of the frat humor the entire time that turns me off. If I had to pick my predominate humor style, I'd say irony/sarcasm/dark. I've been accused of having gallows humor at times. When I say sarcasm, I don't pick on people around me and I don't use it to put people down. But anyway - I have a mix of humor styles, I guess. This guy I'm dating - straight-up frat-style humor. An example: he told me a story where he was at some bar...obviously drunk...and walked up to somebody, pulled his scrotum out of his fly and said, "I sat in some gum!" He thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. I was kind of grossed out. I don't want him to change who he is for me. I don't believe in that for a relationship. Just be who you are and you'll eventually find somebody that lines up with that and loves you exactly the way you are. But I guess my question is - can two people that have mismatched humor styles make a longterm go at things? Or do you think it's possible, after spending some time together that maybe we'll meet in the middle? I just...I do really like him. But the abundance of frat humor is kind of tiring. I'm not even sure how to respond. Am I supposed to give a courtesy laugh even if I don't find it funny? I know I'm going to get people (men) jumping on me for not having a sense of humor, but I do. I DO like SOME frat humor. Just not CONSTANTLY. I'm not sure what to do, here.
TaraMaiden Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 He sounds younger than you.... And if you're around the same age (I'm thinking early 20's max) then mentally you're more mature than he is, although there is a catch-up period in the mid/late twenties. before I too may get jumped on, this is biological genetic fact, it's got nothing to do with feminism.... However, if you're both in an older bracket than I mentioned - this will grate on your nerves more and more, because if it's irritating now, it will really jar your teeth in future. The little endearing foibles we find amusing to begin with, can become tiresome. But if something pisses you off already.....Uh-oh.......
Author Tree Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 Wow.... He's 43 and that immature? That's...disconcerting. Yes. So, no hope on this one, guys? *sigh* You think even if I TALK to him about it to see what his thoughts are? He has a lot of really great qualities...just this ONE thing... Ugh.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 IT never hurts to talk, it will either work or it wont. I wouldnt expect a 43 year old to do that though. Im 25 and pretty much the funniest guy I know and wouldnt do those things.
TaraMaiden Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 LOL...I'm 30 and he's 43. Grrrreat. Ok, in a nutshell, he's 13 years older than you and is still acting like a Frat-brat....? Oh dear, oh dear oh dear....... I can just see him iwith his zimmer frame, lifting the nurse's skirts to see her underwear, and deliberately farting whilst sitting on an elderly lady's lap..... Tough one, but I'd lose this one like a dose of salts........
Star Gazer Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 This guy I'm dating - straight-up frat-style humor. An example: he told me a story where he was at some bar...obviously drunk...and walked up to somebody, pulled his scrotum out of his fly and said, "I sat in some gum!" He thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. I was kind of grossed out. None of the frat guys I knew would have ever done that. I don't think it's frat humor, I think it's crude behavior.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 It sounds like a little thing, but humor is a reflection of personality. I know that for me, when my sense of humor aligns well with the guy's, our personalities align well, and vice versa. My best relationship was with a guy who had a witty, offbeat, innocent sense of humor -- like me. The ones that rubbed me the wrong way favored shock, toilet, or juvenile humor.
sb129 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I think it will only end up irritating you more if its getting on your nerves now...
CLC2008 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 This guy I'm dating - straight-up frat-style humor. An example: he told me a story where he was at some bar...obviously drunk...and walked up to somebody, pulled his scrotum out of his fly and said, "I sat in some gum!" He thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. I was kind of grossed out. This is not cool frat humor, what you described is gross and could even be considered illegal since he exposed himself in a public setting. Movies/TV - Funny/Haha Real Life - Not so much....
Rorschach Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 On the topic of 'is humor a deal breaker' I'm going to go with an absolute flashing yes. I consider myself to have a great sense of hum or, I see funny in everything and I tell people about it. I think I'm hilarious, most people disagree but I've come to accept that, most of my friends chuckle every now and then but certainly not laugh as much as I do at my own jokes. But if a girl was into a different kind of humor than me I don't think we'd be compatible, thats just a BIG point of mine. There is some leeway of course, but if it was too far off base I don't think it'd work out.
SilentVoice Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 An example: he told me a story where he was at some bar...obviously drunk...and walked up to somebody, pulled his scrotum out of his fly and said, "I sat in some gum!" He thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. I was kind of grossed out. Was he intoxicated when he said this?
spookie Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 are you dating my bf? the similarities are jaw_dropping. dumb and dumber is his favorite movie, and "the wristwatch" is his favorite joke - where he wraps his penis around his wrist and asks you what time it is, prompting you to look downward. he's gotten me dozens of times with that one! my advice to you is to let him go so he can find a girl who thinks he's absolutely hilarious. personally, i wasnt even attracted to my bf until i realized he was the funniest person ive ever met.
D-Lish Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I loved Something About Mary:lmao:. Dumb and Dumber was okay. I have an appreciation for both base humour and sarcasm. Sarcasm delights me, but so does a lot of the silly stuff. Hell, I laugh when my dog farts. I appreciate someone that isn't uptight, I hate uptight people, they drive me crazy and I'll have nothing in common with them. The fact that he exposed his balls in public isn't funny. I wouldn't hold anything against the guy for liking "Old School" or "Beerfest", I'd laugh right along with him- but the whole exposing his balls things isn't funny, it's a little disturbing.
impz Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I loved Something About Mary:lmao:. Dumb and Dumber was okay. I have an appreciation for both base humour and sarcasm. Sarcasm delights me, but so does a lot of the silly stuff. Hell, I laugh when my dog farts. I appreciate someone that isn't uptight, I hate uptight people, they drive me crazy and I'll have nothing in common with them. The fact that he exposed his balls in public isn't funny. I wouldn't hold anything against the guy for liking "Old School" or "Beerfest", I'd laugh right along with him- but the whole exposing his balls things isn't funny, it's a little disturbing. Awww XD. My wife always say that I am pretty much a prude (I am quite a social Conservative), though not when it comes to humor. I do think frat jokes can be a bit annoying in huge doses, but the truth is that humor is best when you can use the right one in small doses for the best effect. I do lack a good sense of humor though, but thank god my wife is good at amusing herself. In fact, she is too good at cracking herself up with her own jokes .
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