carhill Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 How many times have you been rejected? Unclear, but I bought one share of Exxon stock every time I was and, by the time I met stbx, I had over $5K in stock in my account. That was over a 15 year period. I would extrapolate, based on historical stock prices, between 50 and 100 times. How many times have you reached success? First date success, meaning a lady accepted a request for the first date - more than 10 but less than 20, again over the same period. Since separating, two ladies have accepted my invitations and three have declined. Where were you propositioning the female? Either their work, a social occasion like a wedding, etc, or online. I recall two personal introductions by friends. Most of the contacts since the internet became available have been online. I met my stbx online. How have you been turned down? Most common is 'I'm not interested in you that way'. I'd say 8-10 personal interactions were like that. The rest were slow fades (meaning non-response). How often does the rejection take place initially? ~90% Two or three dates in? ~10%
sally4sara Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 It would be interesting to see a thread on this subject only for women if only to see how lop-sided it might really be. But in consideration for it being less common that women approach and ask, it might not be as active a thread. I can only say I've been turned down twice. One accepted initially, but we never went out due to his ex being a rival (no idea why she thought we were competing but she commonly targeted guys I had interest in ) and suddenly wanted him back after finding we'd made plans to go out. The other went as far as two dates. We just had NO chemistry. I intended to do the slow fade; he felt the need to vocalize it. I did not keep track of how many times I've asked a guy out. Best guess is more than 10, but less than 20. Some of those could be considered a mutual thing.
St. Nick Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 In response to the "woe is me" thread and the ongoing amount of apprehension and fear of response to rejection- I'm curious how often men are actually rejected by women. How many times have you been rejected? If you mean rejected on the approach then I can't count that because I don't consider that any big deal, only an inevitability. If you mean rejected during dating then I'd say about half the time. Sometimes my ******* personality sneaks out a bit too far. How many times have you reached success? Half the time. But it takes a lot of lying to that far. Where were you propositioning the female? I proposition women anywhere: clubs, bars, Walmart, Target, grocery stores, libraries, etc. I've only been rejected after the date was over. How have you been turned down? All the time. Doesn't every guy get turned down. How often does the rejection take place initially? I don't know. Two or three dates in? If a woman isn't gonna have sex with me after the third date then the relationship is over, and it doesn't matter if I reject her or she rejects me. As a woman, I know I rarely pursue men. I understand it cannot be easy. But after reading post after post regarding men's fear of approach, I'm clearly missing the big bad explosion occurring after denial. Much appreciated. My comments are in bold.
tincanman99 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Literally a handful and it always ended badly. How many times have you been rejected? How many stars are there in the sky ? How many times have you reached success? Pickup? 0 Where were you propositioning the female? Yes How have you been turned down? Ranges from "I have a boyfriend", "No interested, sorry" to really nasty. How often does the rejection take place initially? Depends on how often you approach. I dont approach anymore. Two or three dates in? What? I had one woman a number of years ago tell me to f*ck off after literally just saying hi to her. The key from what I have seen (I am not an expert by any means) is not to care. You have to get over the hump of not caring if they turn you down. You have to have the self confidence to just say next and move on and not let it bother you. Most men including myself dont have it. Been reading the PUA stuff as of late and it basically boils down to self confidence and not caring what they think.
Author marsle85 Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 30+ posts in less than 24 hours... wowzass
Taucher Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I have asked 4 women out in my life, 3 of them said yes. Thats 75% success! BUT...I am not an asker and I have never asked a girl "cold" ie a girl I have only just met in a bar or supermarket.The times I asked a girl out was when I knew them pretty well and I was reasonably confident of success. I would say that people have a higher rate of rejection if they are braver than me and ask girls who they hardly know. I have promised myself I will be that person in future. My 2 five year relationships started when I waited for solong and both girls got frustrated by me not making a move...not a good way to start a relationship and it can affect the relationship all the way through. Thats why you should never give up. T
Lakeside_runner Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I'm sorry, I can't help it but I love the answers where people say: Where were you propositioning to the woman? YES/NO or How have you been turned down? ALL THE TIME... Yeah - maybe that is the problem in dating to - ATTENTION TO DETAILS!
electricity Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I'm sorry, I can't help it but I love the answers where people say: Where were you propositioning to the woman? YES/NO or How have you been turned down? ALL THE TIME... Yeah - maybe that is the problem in dating to - ATTENTION TO DETAILS! I was thinking the exact same thing. I also noted how many repliers admitted that they got "go away" vibes from women and so never even tried approaching. My female friends, on the other hand, have spent hours complaining about how dense men are, and how men are incapable of picking up on the "I'm interested" signals we try to send out. I wonder how many times men read the "come talk to me" signs as "get out of my face."
alphamale Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 with women rejection is the key to success, its all a numbers game
Lakeside_runner Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 big fricking deal It's not a big deal - I was just making an observation... I took your post as an example - nothing personal.
homersheineken Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 with women rejection is the key to success, its all a numbers game Yep..........
St. Nick Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I was thinking the exact same thing. I also noted how many repliers admitted that they got "go away" vibes from women and so never even tried approaching. My female friends, on the other hand, have spent hours complaining about how dense men are, and how men are incapable of picking up on the "I'm interested" signals we try to send out. I wonder how many times men read the "come talk to me" signs as "get out of my face." Because the average woman has less confidence talking to strangers than men do, women rely too much on non-verbal communication. Sometimes when women smile it's this weak, shy smile, where I don't know if she's merely being nice to a stranger or seriously being interested in me.
tincanman99 Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 with women rejection is the key to success, its all a numbers game Totally agree. Once you do it enough times you wont care.
suprisinginsight Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Maresle85, I feel that for most guys the of fear of getting rejected is greatest on the initial approach. Personally after 2-3 dates if it doesn't work out i chalk it up to not being compatible. I don't really view that as a rejection per se. In a bar/club environment on the approach to start convo I usually see about 70 - 75% success rate in getting phone numbers. So rejection rate between 25-30%. In response to the "woe is me" thread and the ongoing amount of apprehension and fear of response to rejection- I'm curious how often men are actually rejected by women. How many times have you been rejected? How many times have you reached success? Where were you propositioning the female? How have you been turned down? How often does the rejection take place initially? Two or three dates in? As a woman, I know I rarely pursue men. I understand it cannot be easy. But after reading post after post regarding men's fear of approach, I'm clearly missing the big bad explosion occurring after denial. Much appreciated.
Green Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Nice guys get the short end of the stick. Be a jerk and get all the female attention whether for sex or relationship or marriage. Be a nice guy and be alone and get no dates, no sex, no relationship, no marriage, no family, no nothing. If your definition of a nice guy is some one afraid to be sexual with a girl so he hides all intentions and ACTS JUST LIKE A FRIEND you would be right. If your definition of a nice guy refers to a kind and caring person who respects himself and others... YOUR WRONG WOMEN LOVE THAT.
Lakeside_runner Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Nice guys get the short end of the stick. Be a jerk and get all the female attention whether for sex or relationship or marriage. Be a nice guy and be alone and get no dates, no sex, no relationship, no marriage, no family, no nothing. People! You don't have to be a jerk! Just be full of energy, conquer the space around you, make to world belong to you! Is it really so hard? NO! Talk to people, don't stand around and wallow in self-pitty/'woe is me'. Make the 20 square yards surrounding you your own private kingdom that you rule! Be proud of who you are (but don't be stuck up! Be gentle!!!). My point is you don't have to treat women like crap and come off as jerk to get their interest. Just live your life, do whatever you think is fun, be passionate about it, just have some goals different than dating and picking-up girls. Only then will you be perceived as a coherent, cool, collected person and this is what (I hope) girls like. Treat women politely and be nice to them but do not put them on a pedestal! They are normal human beings and should be treated as these. I honestly refuse to think that someone who follows these steps will remain alone for the rest of their life. I read a lot of posts here recently and I am fairly sure that all of us are over analyzing things... I am really happy with my life, with what I've achieved so far and what I am going to do. Without sounding like a jerk: if I were rejected by a girl these days I'd think: "Hey, I wanted to share my happiness with you. You don't want it - cool! You are not the only one that I'd love to take on a great adventure!". That's all it is to it - be happy and willing to share your happiness - if I were a girl I'd find it incredibly attractive . Can't wait to get to LA in two months and be able to meet girls!!!
Recommended Posts