collegemommy Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Before I start, it's important to note that I live in a state where it is easy to know someone that knows someone you know, if that makes sense. So today I was visiting with a friend. We went to dinner with a group of people. Most of the people there I had never met before but my friend wanted me to get out of the house. I spent about 30 minutes talking with a girl that I happened to be seated next to. She seemed to be a nice girl and certainly one that I could see myself being friends with (this is important to the story). Since it was so loud, I didn't catch her name. I asked her what her name was again and before she could answer her cell rang. She apologized and said it was her boyfriend and she needed to answer. I have a horrible habit of listening to other people's conversations. Well, good thing I did because in this conversation she mentions the names of my ex's kids. I ignored it for a moment and then I heard her say my daughter's name. WTF??!! She hung up and made some ignorant remark about how her boyfriend's ex is crazy and won't let their daughter come around because of her. I said you're name is _________, right? She said yes and asked what my name was again. I said "I'm Crazy, you know, (insert ex's name) ex." Both of us just stood their in shock for a minute before I excused myself and left. For one, I hate living in such a small state. I hate that I just ran into his new girlfriend COMPLETELY ON ACCIDENT. To top it off, not only is she someone I could see myself being friends with if the circumstances were different but she was pretty. Seriously pretty. I'm not exactly ugly but I would venture to say that she may be more attractive than me. My ex's twin swears that the two of us actually look a lot alike (we have the same shaped face, same hair color, same cheeks, etc.). I had seen pictures of this girl on facebook and let me tell you, she looks nothing like the pictures. I was doing so well with the split and then this... Why can't my life be normal? I mean, I date a guy I've known my whole life and now I randomly meet his new girlfriend. Only I have these weird situations... Well, I'm going to go back to crying in my ice cream.
sally4sara Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I think I would have bit my tongue and gotten chummier with her, just to up the shack value later. She has already written you off as crazy, hmmm? Think of it this way. All the crappy things you know your ex is capable of and he has her totally snowed. From this you now know: His want to make things work one more time was all about this ego. She didn't just decide you're crazy for nothing - he has made you out to be crazy. You don't talk like that about someone you love and respect. He is a liar and she hasn't figured it out yet. An now you can figure out who you are connected to her and him through. You will know who to not share private info with because it will get back to him. And you know you have potential to cause them problems if you're so inclined. She is obviously bothered by his connection to you and the kid. This could have gone better, but you still are in a better position than she is - you already know he is no good and she will have to figure it out herself.
Author collegemommy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 I really could have handled the situation better. I was just in too much shock to think clearly and logically. The fact that she was nice enough and wasn't the ugly ogre I had conjured up in my head, threw me for a serious loop. I do think you're right though. She will have to learn the hard way about him. When I first entered the relationship, his ex told me all these things about what he had done to her. I ignored her because I felt I truly knew him. Well, I knew him as my friend, not as my boyfriend. I re-read all the emails she had sent me and guess what? He did all the same things to me. The only difference is when the two of them split, there was mutal hate between them. She would call him a slew of names and he did the same. Never were they nice to each other. Only in the past year have they become tolerant of one another. We are already tolerant of one another. It's weird but from time to time, I feel like I have my friend back. Then things like last night happen and I realize that he has made me out to be the bad guy. I don't keep him from seeing his daughter. He CHOOSES not to see her. Yes, I don't think his new girlfriend has any business being around my child at the moment (when they become more serious, then I will reconsider). I have tried to work out arrangements with him and he is too preoccupied with his other two kids plus his girlfriend, plus his girlfriend's two kids.... Ok, I'm done rambling now...
Recommended Posts