Lani85 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I'm 24 years old and my parther is 41. At first the age difference did bother me but my friends and family were very supportive and we work our way thru at. i met him thru my work as i work in a bar he was everything i wanted smart, charming, sexy and very romantic so we deciced to give it a go and after a while i moved in with him and everything was perfect and we fell in love together but there is one thing im having trouble with and that is coping with is his 3 kids from his previous marriage. He has 3 girls aged 8, 12 and 16 and i do get along with them all really well and knew about them before the relationship started but one thing i didn't know was that the 8 and 12 year olds came over to our house every single weekend! At first it didn't bother me but after a while it did and still does. the hard thing is i'm getting to that age where i want to start thinking about the future and settling down with a family but the more time goes on the more i feel like i'm at against a wall. on the weekends when the kids come over, they want to go kids stuff like to go parks, movies, shopping etc and being that he does not see them thru the week he feels guilty and does all the things they want to do and we get into argurements cause i don't want to spend hours on end at a bike park or go and see a kids movie, yes there are weekend that i do go with them all but i go not want to go every weekend and he does not understand that so on most weekends i go and either stay at my mums or go to a friends house so we spend our weekends apart. So i keep asking myself Why am i with him when all we do is spend our time apart? yes i do love him but i can't spend the rest of my life doing this. i have tried to change how i feel but i can't.
Neville Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 To cope with the kids we need to love the kids first and then play with them easily they definitely come to us and listen to our words and we can cope up with them easily...
D-Lish Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I don't know how a 24 year old woman would find a 41 year old man attractive! His eldest daughter is only 8 years younger than you???? I tried dating a man with kids ONCE- and I'll never do it again.
GrayClouds Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 With this man you get him and a family. If your not ready for the family your not ready for this man and if you think you should come before the his children then you may be acting like a child yourself. It is very understand able if your not ready to have a family. Your young but mature enough to end the relationship in a healthy way if then relationship is not the one you want. Be kind to everyone involve including yourself.
stillafool Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Well you said you are getting to the age where you want a family. These are the types of activities that you will be doing on the weekends when you have your own kids. His children are going to come first as will yours and his kids. That's just the way it is.
sally4sara Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Well you said you are getting to the age where you want a family. These are the types of activities that you will be doing on the weekends when you have your own kids. His children are going to come first as will yours and his kids. That's just the way it is. True true! If you don't like kid friendly activities, you might want to reconsider how much you are wanting to be a mom. Because I found the years of bike parks and kid movies vastly easier more fun than the huge diaper bag and kid under arm and wailing in the middle of the night years.
Author Lani85 Posted May 20, 2010 Author Posted May 20, 2010 the thing is i understand what you saying but i don't know if you have ever been in this situation and according to your post you haven't theres a big difference between your own kids and other peoples i understand why he wants to make them happy their are his kids and he loves them but you can't tell me i should re-think about being a mum cause the bond with your OWN blood is 10 times more powerful then your parthers pervious family and i never said i wanting to come first in the parthership i'm not stupid to know that childern come first in any relationship and would never dream of asking him to choose because i would and hope for him to choose his childern over me i thank you for your posts but obviously you do not understood where i was coming from
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