does a woman ever break up to truly be alone?

[beatingheartbaby]

my gf broke up with me two weeks ago...claiming a 1000 different, cliche, run of the mill excuses. "i feel like i lost myself, i need to find myself, i need space and time. i have lost the fire, i love you but not in love, i need to focus on graduating, i need to focus on these last few weeks i have in college with my friends, i know you want to marry me...but i dont know if i want to do that, i want to focus on my career, there is no one else i swear, i just need to be alone!"

 

now...of course everyone thinks that THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE. but ive been with this girl 5 and a half years. 5 were long distance as we went to different colleges. we have been fighting a lot, but nothing serious, ive treated her like a queen. weve only fought because i felt she wasnt recipricating the effort i was putting into the relationship...we were each others first's (sex), and we waited for like 3 years to do it....she also comes home from college in three weeks...

 

do women really ever just get confused and need time alone? she is a very independent person...i have trouble thinking that there is someone else...just wanted some insight...b/c none of this stuff makes any sense

[quankanne]

well, it's not impossible that she really needs time to pull herself together and needs the break to do just that, but more often than not, there's another guy involved.

[Eeyore79]

If I decide I don't want to be with someone, there doesn't have to be another guy involved for me to dump him. There isn't necessarily another guy involved, but there could be, and if there was she wouldn't tell you. It doesn't matter anyway though; what's important is that she no longer wants to be with you, whatever the reason.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Its hard to say.

 

I think both men and women are equally inclined to stay in relationships (men for sex and women for security) and tend to 'move on' if they happen to find someone new or distracting. I think otherwise, people may have doubts or be unhappy, but choose the relationship rather than opting to be alone. However, if she is truly independent and has been in a relationship for a long time, she may genuinely just want to be single and figure out who she is unattached. This must mean she has lost some feelings for you and is re-evaluating what she wants out of her life.

[Green]

I think the answer is there could be another guy but why kill yourself thinking about that. You yourself say you have been having fights about how you are more seriouse about the relationship then she is. It is probably best that you just move on and stop thinking about your ex.. Stop all contact with her, that means remove her from your facebook, don't read or send emails or phone calls or txts... Don't even talk or think about her... move on with your life... Take notice to how beutiful other women are... and yes go out and kiss a new girl.

[adamt]

it can happen that she just wants to be alone.

 

my ex left me about 12 months ago and apparently still single. Her mom got ill and passed away and when we split up she said she didnt want a boyfriend and didnt know when she would want one.funny how things turn on their head before we met i was happy being single and she was looking for a boyfriend. now its the other way round. One reason i was attracted to her was that she was independent but thats bit me on the arse now and she is probably too independent with a good job and own house. doesnt need a man's support.now she is just wanting to look after herself and do her own thing.

 

in the bigger picture it doesnt matter if there is someone else or not, all that matters is that it is over and take care of yourself.

[stillafool]

adamt I can understand your girl not wanting a bf. Losing your mom is a life changing experience especially if you are young. But to OP, her being away at a different school I would say more than likely she has met someone she would like to date. She may not be dating him now but she may be laying the ground work.